dancingonthemoon Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 Hi, So basically I have been friends with a guy for nearly a year now and only in the past three months we have become closer. We hang out a good bit and I have met most of his friends and family. I decided to take the plunge and tell him that I like him. So one night out with friends I told him when we got a chance to be alone. His response was not what I expected as he had been giving me all the signals that he also likes me too. Everyone that knows the two of us think there is something going on or wondering why he acts almost like my boyfriend/ In a shortest version he said I am absolutely amazing and am gorgeous but he doesn't see any future with me and proceeded to tell me about another women he likes that came back recently after being gone for 3 years. He said that they had gone out a while before she left. Now I took this as a rejection and decided that was ok and I would be friends with him and I was ok with that. Since then he has been in contact with me more than he ever had been before, took me down to another state about 4 hour drive away and met more of his family and we stayed in the same hotel room (nothing happened). He brought me down because a band I loved was playing there so he thought I would enjoy it. He rings me a lot with conversations lasting over a half an hour, texts me and adds kisses to the end of some texts, pays for everything for me and when we are out makes sure I am ok and if I am hanging out with any of his friends while he is off getting something from the shop etc he tells them they better take care of me and if anything happens to me he will kill them (in a joking way, of course). He has made no mention of this women again and well if a guy was going out with another women she sure would not let her boyfriend stay in a hotel with another women. I just keep getting the signals but other times feel like a friend, take for instance if he was talking to his friends while I am there he would say how hot a girl is but would never do anything about it at least not when I am around. Even one of his friends asked me what we were to each other. Also his family know who I am even before I have met them because they ask me questions about stuff saying the guy had told them that about me. As far as I know, I am the only female he has brought down to this state or has met so many people from his family. He also tells me very private things in his life that I know I would not tell anyone who wouldn't be close to me or that I didn't trust. Now I know that I liked him and I told him that but after that my feelings changed a bit and I guess I am asking this question because apart of me does still like him as more than a friend but not as much as I used too. I am very confused, any outside perspective would be nice good or bad. Thank you.
sid3 Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 TLDR. Didn't need to read it all. There's another who's pants he wants to get into. Sounds trite, but its usually that simple.
Author dancingonthemoon Posted July 3, 2012 Author Posted July 3, 2012 TLDR. Didn't need to read it all. There's another who's pants he wants to get into. Sounds trite, but its usually that simple. What does TLDR stand for? It could be but wouldn't he have tried something at the hotel?
sid3 Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 Too long didn't read, I stopped at the point where he told you about the other lady he likes.
LoverOfDance Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 I have a guy friend that I'm in the process of getting over right now because he has a gf. After I told him I liked him, he started treating me so much better and doing nice things for me. I think it's possible that he may have feelings 4 u but the situation is a bit complicated so he can't really make a move or act on them. I think u should give it time and allow him 2 keep doing those nice things for u - see where it leads. Don't be all in though. I mean, leave one leg in and the other, out the door. That way if he decides that he doesn't want to be in a relationship with u, u won't be so heartbroken cause u were already ready to leave anyways. Good luck. Hope it works out:)
Christine52 Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 He sounds like he's very young? When you tell someone you're not interested, the mature/respectful thing to do is NOT what he's doing.
Author dancingonthemoon Posted July 3, 2012 Author Posted July 3, 2012 He sounds like he's very young? When you tell someone you're not interested, the mature/respectful thing to do is NOT what he's doing. No he is 32 and I am 29.
Christine52 Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 No he is 32 and I am 29. He's 32? Oh dear.... If you want any chance of happiness in the near future, I would lose contact with him and start seeing other people. He is pulling you into his web because you validate his ego. He likes having you around because it's a constant reminder that someone values him. It's selfish of him to do this, and I thought only teenage boys were continuing with this ridiculousness.
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