WeAllMightBeNuts Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 The No Contact thingy is probably one of the most discussed things on this board. And there is a pattern that seems to sustain. 1) People heal and move on better. 2) People realize what they had and get back together. Much less the case, so don't get your hopes up anyone reading this. So the general consensus from multiple experiences is to go No Contact. Proven time and time again to produce one of the two results in varying degrees. Now for a Monkey Wrench in the works. I've also seen in real life multiple times where the dumpee keeps contact and they get back together over and over. This person often is in the beg and controlled position. Comments? Just wondering if others have seen it and their thoughts. Thanks.
rAFC Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 Now for a Monkey Wrench in the works. I've also seen in real life multiple times where the dumpee keeps contact and they get back together over and over. This person often is in the beg and controlled position. Comments? Just wondering if others have seen it and their thoughts. Thanks. Sure, it happens. However, much more often the dumper meets someone new and the dumpee, who has kept in contact, is left with the double-sting of being dumped AND watching the dumper move on and be (seemingly) happy with someone else. 1
sweetheart5381 Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 Sure, it happens. However, much more often the dumper meets someone new and the dumpee, who has kept in contact, is left with the double-sting of being dumped AND watching the dumper move on and be (seemingly) happy with someone else. This really is a matter of control, which is not healthy in the long run for any relationship. If one partner threatens to leave (seeks power), or actually leaves (exerts power) then the other is in a lesser position. The scales are forever tipped. This leaves both parties in a precarious position post-relationship, especially the dumpee. Who the hell wants to be controlled?? I personally expect to be treated as an equal, being respected through honest communication. The reconciliation via power never, ever works out. Reconciliation needs to be based on mutual respect and love. Anything less and it is doomed to fail.
BlazePT Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 This really is a matter of control, which is not healthy in the long run for any relationship. If one partner threatens to leave (seeks power), or actually leaves (exerts power) then the other is in a lesser position. The scales are forever tipped. This leaves both parties in a precarious position post-relationship, especially the dumpee. Who the hell wants to be controlled?? I personally expect to be treated as an equal, being respected through honest communication. The reconciliation via power never, ever works out. Reconciliation needs to be based on mutual respect and love. Anything less and it is doomed to fail. I agree. Most of the time, they actually get back together because the dumper pities the dumpee and can't stand to watch him suffer. Yes, it is doomed to fail. The fact is that probably the dumper is going to be miserable and the dumpee is going to be a puppy.
Sugarkane Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 I've never stayed in contact with a dumper. Usually in complete shock (dumped out of the blue) and full of anger. I don't know how dumpees can stay in contact, very painful.
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