Chunky Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 My girlfriend will see a guy on tv and say how hot he is. Shell see Mark Wahlberg in the movies and say that he's her boyfriend. It makes me feel inadequate. I never say I think a woman is pretty or anything like that to my girlfriend. I'm jealous. I'm trying not to be but it hurts my feelings. What do you think?
amaysngrace Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 What do you think? I think that you should tell her how you feel and use a couple of female hotties for an example of what you never do.
Titanwolf Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 The next time you see a woman you find attractive on T.V, make sure she knows about it. Sometimes the best way to learn is through 1st hand experience. Hopefully she'll get the message.
Author Chunky Posted July 2, 2012 Author Posted July 2, 2012 I just got off the phone with her and told her how I felt. She said I was being petty and controlling. Now I'm upset. I'm just crazy about her and I don't look at other girls so I thought she could do the same. I don't know what to think now.
amaysngrace Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 I just got off the phone with her and told her how I felt. She said I was being petty and controlling. Now I'm upset. I'm just crazy about her and I don't look at other girls so I thought she could do the same. I don't know what to think now. Well she clearly doesn't respect your feelings then. That sucks.
Author Chunky Posted July 2, 2012 Author Posted July 2, 2012 I really didn't care for that petty and controlling comment. I never look at other girls. NEVER! I really care about her and look forward to being with her. I just feel really bad now. She says that she's going to come and see me later today. I gotta be honest, I want to see her but at the same time I know that I won't be able to get past that petty and controlling remark. I try not to be jealous and I know that its just a fantasy... but she is MY fantasy and I hoped I was hers. I guess time will tell...
amaysngrace Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 Talk to her again about your feelings and how that you don't appreciate her remarks when she stops by. See if she is sincere in her response or just blows you off again. Most importantly if she leaves you feeling queasy about your feelings being disrespected, trust your instincts and stay true to you.
Jessie32 Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 My girlfriend will see a guy on tv and say how hot he is. Shell see Mark Wahlberg in the movies and say that he's her boyfriend. It makes me feel inadequate. I never say I think a woman is pretty or anything like that to my girlfriend. I'm jealous. I'm trying not to be but it hurts my feelings. What do you think? I think its very silly you are jealous of this kind of thing. you sound young..maybe thats why?
amaysngrace Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 I think its very silly you are jealous of this kind of thing. you sound young..maybe thats why? Feelings are feelings regardless of age.
Jessie32 Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 Feelings are feelings regardless of age. For this topic I disagree. I don't think there is any reason to be jealous of people like celebrities that are unattainable. If his gf was in a restaurant hitting on other men or commenting on men there thats where I would draw the line. But it is human nature to find other humans attractive, in a relationship or not. His insecurity is not his gf's fault. Human beings are allowed to find other people attractive. We are alive, not dead. We all look and fantasize and anyone that says they don't is lying.
Titanwolf Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 For this topic I disagree. I don't think there is any reason to be jealous of people like celebrities that are unattainable. If his gf was in a restaurant hitting on other men or commenting on men there thats where I would draw the line. But it is human nature to find other humans attractive, in a relationship or not. His insecurity is not his gf's fault. Human beings are allowed to find other people attractive. We are alive, not dead. We all look and fantasize and anyone that says they don't is lying. True it is human nature. However, it's also poor character and disrespect to constantly voice that attraction to your current mate. Saying things like "That's my boyfriend" seems extremely immature. It's women like this that would sleep with the celebrity if they ever got a backstage pass at one of their events. Inconsiderate girlfriend is inconsiderate.
amaysngrace Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 His insecurity is not his gf's fault. Human beings are allowed to find other people attractive. We are alive, not dead. We all look and fantasize and anyone that says they don't is lying. True enough but expressing how hot you think a guy is in front of your BF is rude IMO...especially if you know it bothers them. I generally don't try to judge people for how they feel but appreciate their feelings are real to THEM.
Jessie32 Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 True it is human nature. However, it's also poor character and disrespect to constantly voice that attraction to your current mate. Saying things like "That's my boyfriend" seems extremely immature. It's women like this that would sleep with the celebrity if they ever got a backstage pass at one of their events. Inconsiderate girlfriend is inconsiderate. She is probably young. Most women are like that in late teens early 20s.
manup Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 My girlfriend will see a guy on tv and say how hot he is. Shell see Mark Wahlberg in the movies and say that he's her boyfriend. It makes me feel inadequate. I never say I think a woman is pretty or anything like that to my girlfriend. I'm jealous. I'm trying not to be but it hurts my feelings. What do you think? Is she your first? You are being a little sensitive, she doesn't sound too nice if she called you petty though.
pteromom Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 Sorry, but I think it is petty. Even if she calls a celebrity her boyfriend, it isn't as if she'll ever even MEET him in real life, much less have the chance to date him. That said, if it bothers you, she should try to tone it down. 1
Jessie32 Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 Sorry, but I think it is petty. Even if she calls a celebrity her boyfriend, it isn't as if she'll ever even MEET him in real life, much less have the chance to date him. That said, if it bothers you, she should try to tone it down. I agree with this. As silly as I think it is to worry about something like this if he talks to her she will probably stop.
ThaWholigan Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 I couldn't imagine getting worked up over something like this. OP, it shouldn't really bother you the way it does. She's obviously ribbing you, but to be honest, I don't think it's malicious on her part. I know it must be difficult for you particularly to accept that your GF has fantasies about other guys, but so do lots of women. I wouldn't care if a girl I was with had a crush on a celebrity - I'm the one f*cking her at the end of the day. Nothing to worry about! If it's really bothering you, you should find a way to approach it that doesn't betray your jealousy. 1
nessaaa Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 dont take it personal, she prob just wants a reaction outta you. sometimes us girls like to watch you get your panties in a twist. sorrie.
Jessie32 Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 dont take it personal, she prob just wants a reaction outta you. sometimes us girls like to watch you get your panties in a twist. sorrie. I hope he doesn't wear panties..
maysj18 Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 I think it's very rude and inconsiderate. I would never mention how attractive I find a man in front of my boyfriend, because 1) I don't want to make him feel bad and 2) what's it matter if I find them attractive? If he asks me about a particular celebrity, I'll just nonchalantly describe them as handsome and move on. I wouldn't gush and say things like "he's my boyfriend!" Well always find other people attractive but its not fair or necessary to tell our partners all about it. 1
Jessie32 Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 I think it's very rude and inconsiderate. I would never mention how attractive I find a man in front of my boyfriend, because 1) I don't want to make him feel bad and 2) what's it matter if I find them attractive? If he asks me about a particular celebrity, I'll just nonchalantly describe them as handsome and move on. I wouldn't gush and say things like "he's my boyfriend!" Well always find other people attractive but its not fair or necessary to tell our partners all about it. I think some people take things a little too seriously when it comes to topics like this.
maysj18 Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 I think some people take things a little too seriously when it comes to topics like this. How so? I think it's reasonable that he's upset.
Author Chunky Posted July 2, 2012 Author Posted July 2, 2012 No I don't wear panties. LOL! I spoke with her again and she was getting upset. I guess the only thing to do is just let it go. She knows how I feel about it. Now it's up to her to decide on how to act in the future. I realize it's crazy to be jealous of a celebrity who she'll never even meet, but like I said earlier, it just made me feel inadaquate and it hurt my feelings. She's going to be here in a bit and we are going to have supper together tonight. I love her very much. I better let it go before something is said that cannot be taken back. I wouldn't want to have a huge battle over this either. I just wanted to say that I appreciate all the advice, thank you! 1
xxoo Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 Short answer: talk to her, and tell her how you feel when she does this. Long answer: people have different relationship styles, and different comfort levels with this sort of thing. Personally, I like to have fun joking around about the men/women we each find attractive. We laugh and tease together--but we are both enjoying the banter. Her doing this doesn't necessarily make her wrong, maybe just a little too playful for you.
ascendotum Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 For this topic I disagree. I don't think there is any reason to be jealous of people like celebrities that are unattainable. If his gf was in a restaurant hitting on other men or commenting on men there thats where I would draw the line. But it is human nature to find other humans attractive, in a relationship or not. His insecurity is not his gf's fault. Human beings are allowed to find other people attractive. We are alive, not dead. We all look and fantasize and anyone that says they don't is lying. I agree with this. I think the 'he's my boyfriend' comment is a bit childish, but otherwise appreciating a hot looking celebrity, I don't think is a big deal, unless you get it everytime you sit down to watch tv. I personally think you should have just started to do the same thing back to her commenting on hot women, rather than phone her to complain. She could easily just be teasing you. However, if the genders were reversed here, for sure all the women would think the bf was a dick for calling her 'petty and controlling'.
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