Ever get broken up with in an email and then ignored forever?

July 2, 2012

Day 23 NC

I'm just curious if anyone else here has been dumped in this way and then completely ignored afterwards? I still have a hard time wrapping my head around getting dumped in this way when he could have picked up the phone. He said in his email that he'd be ready to talk on the phone the next day, but never did answer my calls/emails/texts.

This was 3 months ago. 23 days ago, after trying to contact him 5 or 6 times since the break up, I sent him an saying I never in a million years expected him not to give me the respect of a 2-way conversation, or else I would have sent the letter sooner. I said that I just wanted to clear the air about some misunderstandings he had about me and apologize for my hand in the break up, so that I could move on with some integrity and respect. I said what I needed to say and sent it. Of course, he did not answer.

Has this happened to anyone? Did that person ever contact you again to apologize? He was the love of my life and I still have a hard time believing he's just an a*hole like that. Sometimes I think about contacting him to find out WTF inspired him to show me such little respect. It seemed so unlike him.

July 2, 2012

my ex did this when we were 21. i sent him a long letter and he never bothered replying to it. but he was never that into me, and i knew it.

if your guy was, it is more likely that he can't face dealing with it. it's more comfortable being an ostrich than a man. guaranteed that he will come crawling back to have you confirm that you are ok and therefore he is not a total bastard, in approx 6 weeks time or more. in other words, just as you are beginning to get over it!

July 2, 2012

"More comfortable being an ostrich than a man"

This about sums him up.

July 2, 2012

"More comfortable being an ostrich than a man"

This about sums him up.

Yep. My ex pulled this. He did give me a face to face break up, but proceeded to say A LOT of things which were lies. He didn't want to lose me, wanted to keep in touch, be friends, start fresh down the line.

So after the broke up sank in, I sent an email two days later. it was completely heartfelt, nice, respectful of him, supportive of him...and it went completely unanswered.

6 weeks later we were still in NC. He didn't reach out to me once, until I did. At that point we spoke for 15 minutes, and then he dropped off the earth for the next two weeks again.

Then out of no where he sends a completely bogus text telling me to "sell the jewelry" he had gotten for me throughout our relationship. At that point I flipped. We hadn't spoken in pretty much 2 months. He avoided me, stuck his head in the sand, was the biggest coward anyone could be, and then he sends me that?!

Of course my texts, and email thereafter went unanswered. Classic ostrich. But at that point I realized he was done for good. No time for little boys.

July 2, 2012

Day 23 NC
I'm just curious if anyone else here has been dumped in this way and then completely ignored afterwards? I still have a hard time wrapping my head around getting dumped in this way when he could have picked up the phone. He said in his email that he'd be ready to talk on the phone the next day, but never did answer my calls/emails/texts.

This was 3 months ago. 23 days ago, after trying to contact him 5 or 6 times since the break up, I sent him an saying I never in a million years expected him not to give me the respect of a 2-way conversation, or else I would have sent the letter sooner. I said that I just wanted to clear the air about some misunderstandings he had about me and apologize for my hand in the break up, so that I could move on with some integrity and respect. I said what I needed to say and sent it. Of course, he did not answer.

Has this happened to anyone? Did that person ever contact you again to apologize? He was the love of my life and I still have a hard time believing he's just an a*hole like that. Sometimes I think about contacting him to find out WTF inspired him to show me such little respect. It seemed so unlike him.

If it has been that long and he hasn't contacted you don't waste anymore time expecting him to. It's time for you to move on (like him) to something new. Life is too short and counting the days is prolonging your healing. Say to yourself "he is gone and never coming back". Then move on.

July 2, 2012

my ex did this when we were 21. i sent him a long letter and he never bothered replying to it. but he was never that into me, and i knew it.

if your guy was, it is more likely that he can't face dealing with it. it's more comfortable being an ostrich than a man. guaranteed that he will come crawling back to have you confirm that you are ok and therefore he is not a total bastard, in approx 6 weeks time or more. in other words, just as you are beginning to get over it!

It's this type of information that keeps one holding on. He just may never contact her again and yet she would still be waiting. If he was the one to break it off he is not coming back. Men usually go after what they want.

July 2, 2012

Hey Starla,

Your post got me thinking, we're on the same sort of timeframes BU wise. For me, 3 months almost since BU (early April) and roughly 2 weeks NC. You've probably seen my thread here on the forum.

For me, broke up via a text, about as low as it could get. I've forgiven her for that, but it's still hard for me as I miss her dearly.

I'd be interested to see how your story pans out.

Keep strong, Ed

July 2, 2012

She broke up with me by email, telling me she'd never speak to me again, and 15 months later she's held to it.

July 2, 2012

Day 23 NC
I'm just curious if anyone else here has been dumped in this way and then completely ignored afterwards? I still have a hard time wrapping my head around getting dumped in this way when he could have picked up the phone. He said in his email that he'd be ready to talk on the phone the next day, but never did answer my calls/emails/texts.

This was 3 months ago. 23 days ago, after trying to contact him 5 or 6 times since the break up, I sent him an saying I never in a million years expected him not to give me the respect of a 2-way conversation, or else I would have sent the letter sooner. I said that I just wanted to clear the air about some misunderstandings he had about me and apologize for my hand in the break up, so that I could move on with some integrity and respect. I said what I needed to say and sent it. Of course, he did not answer.

Has this happened to anyone? Did that person ever contact you again to apologize? He was the love of my life and I still have a hard time believing he's just an a*hole like that. Sometimes I think about contacting him to find out WTF inspired him to show me such little respect. It seemed so unlike him.

5.5 months ago my girlfriend of 2 years/ friend of 15 years broke up with me in an email. Didn't hear anything from her for 3 months after that, so I finally deleted her from my Facebook page. A few days later I got another email from her, she was quite upset that I deleted her from my page and went on a several paragraph rant about how I was wrong to just delete her from my life like that without even a call! I bit my tongue for a few days but could not resist responding, reminding her that it was her that deleted me from her life without the respect of even a phone call. 2.5 months since and not another word.

Some people are just....nuts. I was never anything but understanding and supportive of her. As much as it has hurt me, even now, I know she did me a favor because this is not the type of person I (or you or anyone) should be in a relationship with.

July 2, 2012

I"m "not waiting," but then again I sort of am, just because I did nothing to deserve this, and it was a huge 180 from the type of person he was/fancies himself to be. But the more I look back on what I learned about him while we were together, it does sort of line up. So I'm half expecting him to wake up one day and realize how cruel it was to leave me hanging like that with no goodbye, when the last time we saw each other he was introducing me to his father (his idea) and telling me how happy he was. I never saw him as a cruel person, so he's probably not being like this to hurt me, but because he sucks at life, lol.

Don't get me wrong -- I am not saying he was cruel to break up with me. Everyone is entitled to break up if they so choose, of course! I am just saying that the way he handled it has left me spinning for months, wondering, with all these questions. All I really needed was a single 2-way conversation out of him, so I could move on in any sort of healthy way.

Still, everything happens for a reason, and had the break up not been carried out in such a devastating way, I might not have been so inspired to improve myself and my life. For every notch on the pain post, I compensate with doing something amazing to better myself. It's the only way to cope. And it's actually a huge blessing in my life. I'm becoming the person I always wanted to be:)

Since the break up, one guy took an extra liking to me, but I did not feel the same about him. He acted like an entitled nutjob about his feelings about me, and as much as I wanted to avoid him, he said he wanted to talk to me about if I had feelings for him or not, so I got on the phone with him at his request and told him I wasn't interested. It was uncomfortable and annoying, yes, but it took all of SIX MINUTES to give him that respect.

It feels comforting to read other people's experiences and know I'm not totally alone in this. And it feels GREAT to vent this afternoon, instead of breaking NC! Thank you, Love Shack!

July 2, 2012

I never saw him as a cruel person, so he's probably not being like this to hurt me, but because he sucks at life, lol.

They have a word for it: Coward. Quite simply, he didn't have the @#$%* to look you in the eye when he did it.

July 2, 2012

They have a word for it: Coward. Quite simply, he didn't have the @#$%* to look you in the eye when he did it.

This makes me feel sad for both of us. It ultimately hurts us both. But he hasn't come to terms with this side of his personality... he's in total denial of it, as far as I can tell from the way he describes himself in his online dating profile.

So it hurts me now, but it will hurt him more later, when he goes through the same mess again and again with other women, because he hasn't owned his own issues.

I guess I shouldn't be so surprised that he did this. There really WERE signs there that he was capable of it. But it's still so dishonorable that I have a hard time believing I didn't deserve it. I keep wondering if he heard some rumor I cheated on him or something (I didn't). My mind struggles to make sense of it all.

July 2, 2012

Hey Starla how you doing.. looks like you're doing all the necessary steps to get better (aka not contact our douchebag exes). I haven't been broken up by email but it was through his NC that I finally got the hint we were over. A lot of people have mentioned the book, Men who can't Love, and i HIGHLY recommend that book for you Starla, really. I think it pertains a lot to our situation and it may even answer some questions for you..

I love that you got yourself something yummy to eat. What'd you eat?? Today I had jamba juice.. for lunch. Haha, it filled me up and its relatively cheap. I hope your day is going well, sigh, another day is almost gone.

July 2, 2012

WTF inspired him to show me such little respect.

Cowardice, most likely. He couldn't face you, probably still can't.

In my book the only decent way to break up with somebody is either face to face, or over the phone. Certainly not by email or text.

A few years ago I had to break up with my boyfriend I made sure to have a face to face conversation that made it clear we were broken up. I did so because of the way people break up nowadays, over text.. it's lacking respect for themselves and the person they break up with.

It must be even harder for you to move on. But I will add, be glad that you aren't with him anymore, if that's a trait of character that he was hiding from you, that's probably a trait you wouldn't be attracted to in the first place.

Edited July 2, 2012 by Samilia

July 2, 2012

5.5 months ago my girlfriend of 2 years/ friend of 15 years broke up with me in an email. Didn't hear anything from her for 3 months after that, so I finally deleted her from my Facebook page. A few days later I got another email from her, she was quite upset that I deleted her from my page and went on a several paragraph rant about how I was wrong to just delete her from my life like that without even a call! I bit my tongue for a few days but could not resist responding, reminding her that it was her that deleted me from her life without the respect of even a phone call. 2.5 months since and not another word.

Some people are just....nuts. I was never anything but understanding and supportive of her. As much as it has hurt me, even now, I know she did me a favor because this is not the type of person I (or you or anyone) should be in a relationship with.

Oh I would have liked to be a little mouse when she received your answer, well done!!

Edited July 2, 2012 by Samilia

July 2, 2012

Seriously tho, HOW F***ing hard is it to show some respect and tell it to their face? Gawd i just wanna kick my ex in the face.

July 2, 2012

Happened to me

He is selfish and consumed by his own ego. In his rage he didn't see me as a person, let alone his partner. Not fun to be left in an email, and I'm still hurt from it.. but, it's been a year and I am glad that I haven't had to take any more of his mistreatment.

July 2, 2012

Hey Starla how you doing.. looks like you're doing all the necessary steps to get better (aka not contact our douchebag exes). I haven't been broken up by email but it was through his NC that I finally got the hint we were over. A lot of people have mentioned the book, Men who can't Love, and i HIGHLY recommend that book for you Starla, really. I think it pertains a lot to our situation and it may even answer some questions for you..

I love that you got yourself something yummy to eat. What'd you eat?? Today I had jamba juice.. for lunch. Haha, it filled me up and its relatively cheap. I hope your day is going well, sigh, another day is almost gone.

Jamba is the best! I got a gyros sandwich and some hummus. Gettin back to my Greek roots! Felt nice. I will check the book out. Thank you!

July 2, 2012

What's so bewildering is, yes, one thing to punk out and do it in an email -- okay... This is the modern era and I can forgive that. But it's another to completely ignore someone when it is clear they are trying to get in touch with you. I was completely kind and respectful in my attempts to speak with him.

July 2, 2012

Jamba is the best! I got a gyros sandwich and some hummus. Gettin back to my Greek roots! Felt nice. I will check the book out. Thank you!

hummm hummus... I love that... dont know Jamba though.. I put hummus and avocado on everything, when I buy it, it's still fattening

July 2, 2012

What's so bewildering is, yes, one thing to punk out and do it in an email -- okay... This is the modern era and I can forgive that. But it's another to completely ignore someone when it is clear they are trying to get in touch with you. I was completely kind and respectful in my attempts to speak with him.

I have mase and a wooden bat in my closet. Shall we pay them a visit??

July 2, 2012

What's so bewildering is, yes, one thing to punk out and do it in an email -- okay... This is the modern era and I can forgive that. But it's another to completely ignore someone when it is clear they are trying to get in touch with you. I was completely kind and respectful in my attempts to speak with him.

Eh.. new technology or not.. it's still rude. But anyway, yes.. lets pretend that it's his exclusive way of communicating, it's still a db move since it's not a two way conversation.

July 2, 2012

I have mase and a wooden bat in my closet. Shall we pay them a visit??

Girl, I train MMA 5 mornings a week, no weapons needed, hahaha.

Seriously, though... of course we'd never "go there," but it feels nice that you have my back!! You rock!

July 2, 2012

Happened to me

He is selfish and consumed by his own ego. In his rage he didn't see me as a person, let alone his partner. Not fun to be left in an email, and I'm still hurt from it.. but, it's been a year and I am glad that I haven't had to take any more of his mistreatment.

So, I take it he never contacted you after that?

July 2, 2012

Oh I would have liked to be a little mouse when she received your answer, well done!!

I have often wondered what she made of my response. It was clear from her email that she had absolutely NO IDEA that her breaking up with me by email was not the right way to go about it. I know her and she lives in her own little world. I suspect that in her mind (based on the content of her email), she assumed that after a week or two I would just get over it and we'd be buddies again. Perhaps if she had handled it like a grown up (she is in her 30s so no excuses there) we could have been friends (or at least friend-LY) down the line. I kept waiting for her to call and apologize for the way she handled it (much like the op is doing now), but almost 6 months later and not a peep!

I'm over the break up, but the feeling of disrespect still lingers.

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Ever get broken up with in an email and then ignored forever?

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