boshemia Posted July 5, 2004 Posted July 5, 2004 This is long... but I just wanted to share this with some of you who are suffering from a breakup and wondering if you will ever get over it. The strangest thing happened to me yesterday. I was walking through the grocery store, and this guy called my name. I didn’t recognize him, and had that “who the hell are you look on my face” He smiles and says, “Have you ever been to a Garth Brooks concert?” Fifteen years couldn’t have gone by that fast, but I guess it has hasn’t it? I was only 18 then, and God I loved him. I think the only real problem we had was I loved him, but not near as much as he loved himself. This is a man who once looked at me with his eyes full of love, and said..."I wish I was you, so I could make love to me" So naturally I decided I wouldn’t admit how I felt until I heard it from his lips first. I didn't want to get hurt. And so it went right up until the Garth Brooks concert. My first concert, and my only big one. About halfway through the first song my boyfriend leaned down and whispered “breathe” in my ear. He held me up through most of the concert so I could see over the crowd. That night was the first time I had ever heard “Shameless” and somewhere during that song I swore he leaned down and whispered “I love you” And that night… I lost him. I should have realized something wasn't right when my favorite song off the album was "Shameless" and his was "Burning Bridges"... But... It took a month for me to realize it, but he came by less often, didn’t call as much. The last thing I really remember about him was the day “Ropin The Wind” was released he stalked the record store, he made them tear open the box to get us both a copy. When he brought it to me, I couldn’t stand it anymore. I told him I knew he was fading away, and asked him to please, just walk… And he did… My heart has never been that broken before or since. And I saw him in the store yesterday and didn’t recognize him. But my heart… it remembers him just fine. And seeing him… it still hurt a little bit, but just a little. I came home, and kissed my husband on the forehead. Thankful to have him. I know now I have never loved anyone the way I love him, and no one has ever loved me in return, not the way he loves me now. I still remember the pain from my past, but I guess the details have blurred. I once thought I would love someone forever, and now… I don’t even remember his face. I want to talk to my love about what happened, but I know he would never understand. Could I love you ever really say what is in my heart right now? I just want to hold him, kiss his face a million times. Look deep into his eyes and get lost like I did the night I met him. I want to thank him for loving me, because I didn’t think anyone ever could… And Garth came back to me… just for a little visit… To remind me that some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers (ps, no wonder I listen to Manson and Rob Zombie now huh?) If any of you have unanswered prayers, moments where you finally realized that just because he doesn’t answer doesn’t mean he don’t care... times you've thanked God for unanswered prayers... please share them...
honey2005 Posted July 9, 2004 Posted July 9, 2004 That was a very beautiful story. Thanks for sharing it:).
digger Posted July 9, 2004 Posted July 9, 2004 Tell me if you think this was an unanswered prayer. The love of my life is divorcing me. Ive been in a straight jacket for 5 months. Cry every day. Last week i wrote out her support check, put it in the sun visor and went in the bank. Driving back i felt really low-looked at the billowy clouds and said "God, is she ever coming back'? At that exact moment, point-1 seconds after the word 'back'--the checkbook flew out of the visor into my lap. I wasnt speeding up--slowing down. Not on a bumpy road. Was that a sign?
tattoomytoe Posted July 9, 2004 Posted July 9, 2004 i would bank that it was a coincidence....unless you lost the check and didn't send another one, that would be an answered prayer!
Dulce_Angel_Whispers Posted July 9, 2004 Posted July 9, 2004 Thank God for these unanswered prayers for real! First one: (this will sound bad but please don't judge) I was 15 dating a 38 year old man (which at first I thought he was a lot younger until I saw his ID) I found out he was older but by this time I had feelings for him. Well clearly my Mom threatened to put him in jail and was about to call the cops when he called it quits with me and stopped calling (or so she thought) I swore I was in love with him and that they had ruined my life and begged him (since we were talking in secret and still sleeping together) to take me with him to California since he was planning a trip there. Well long story short he left without me and I thought my world would end and that my heart would never heal. Well later on down the line when I grew up emotionally I realized what a sick-o he must have been to be with such a young niave girl and to sleep with me when I was that young! sick!!! So when I saw him again I realized how much he'd aged and how sickly he looked and how greatful I was that God didn't help me (in the way I thought I wanted) back in those days 1995 I dated him and saw him again in 1998 and eeww he had aged by years or so it looked but beyond that I realized he was a weirdo to chase such a young girl something was wrong with him obviously and thankfully someone was looking out for me or else God only knows what would have happened to me if I'd have gone with him so far away from my family (like 2300 miles). Also: I used to pray all the time (because I had low self esteem and felt I needed to be with someone in order to be whole) that a decent guy would come along and love me no matter what, that they would never cheat and always want me by their side, even if they were jealous or abusive I would stick by their side because if they were jealous it would mean they loved me. Needless to say it happened a long time later and it was a horrible relationship, he hit me, beat me, threatened to kill me and my family if I left him, he was a drunk and just absolutely horrible (and he was a lot older than me also) well I ended up leaving him but some how he found his way back to me and me being weak I let him come back until finally one day something snapped and I didn't want him in my life anymore I was sick of the pain both emotionally and physically so I made him leave and moved with my family and thankfully have been rid of him every since! I took 2 years alone and realized what I'd been praying for all that time was NOT want I wanted deep down or what I needed so I just stopped looking and started trusting that if it was meant for me to be alone so be it or if it was meant for me to find someone who'd be good to me then I would let it happen when it was meant to! Well eventually it did and I've been with him quite awhile, he is wonderful and i love him and he loves me treats me like a princess and isn't jealous or mean or cruel but allows me time and shows me in good ways he wants to be with me and I find myself head over heals and not so needy! I realized that since my father was barley in my life (I saw him a total of 30 times in 23 years) so I was seeking that father figure and a male figure to show me love and make me feel valid! I've gotten my self esteem up and realized you have to love yourself in order for someone else to love you! I know that I'm not such a terrible person that I can't be alone with myself! I didn't mind the time I was alone and I realized that at first since I couldn't stand being alone with me how could I expect anyone else to want to be with me either? I had abandonment issues, trust issues, and horrible self esteem issues, not to mention extreme anger and jealousy! Honestly I realized until I got all these in check I didn't need a relationship because no matter who the person is they don't need my baggage and I couldn't bring anything positive to a relationship! Sorry this is so long but basically this is my experience with "prayers" answered and unanswered!
miz_barby Posted July 9, 2004 Posted July 9, 2004 I have had a few prayers that never got answers at least not the answers I was seeking but I also came to realize it was for my own good! I'm happy in my life where I am at right now but if my prayers had been answered before I probably would have missed out on meeting the love of my life and living a healthier and happier life than I had before. Just like that song says "sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers" that just says it all!
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