princess1982 Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 A couple of month ago aguy started texting me and asking me to meet him I am in a unhappy marriage and agreed to go along I found out he is also married but he says they are only still together for the kids, same as me. I really liked him and we have been texting most days and met up 6 times we will chat cuddle and have sex. the thing is I've just found out im pregnant I know its my husband's as the other guy can't have no more children, I want the child more than anything but I really like this guy and Im scared that when I tell him he will back off. I am beginning to think he is losing interest anyway cos after spending 3 hours cuddling in bed on Saturday he didn't answer my text yesterday and although he text me early this morning he didn't really say a lot. what can I do.
BetrayedH Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 A couple of month ago aguy started texting me and asking me to meet him I am in a unhappy marriage and agreed to go along I found out he is also married but he says they are only still together for the kids, same as me. I really liked him and we have been texting most days and met up 6 times we will chat cuddle and have sex. the thing is I've just found out im pregnant I know its my husband's as the other guy can't have no more children, I want the child more than anything but I really like this guy and Im scared that when I tell him he will back off. I am beginning to think he is losing interest anyway cos after spending 3 hours cuddling in bed on Saturday he didn't answer my text yesterday and although he text me early this morning he didn't really say a lot. what can I do. You can stop cheating on your husband, go "no contact" with your affair partner, tell your husband everything and hope that he forgives you. Live an authentic life and clean up the nuclear bomb you've dropped on your family. 3
SomedayDig Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 Wait a minute, LG. Are you saying that this MM may have lied about not being able to bear children in order to go without using a condom?! That would be inconceivable! In all seriousness, princess...you simply need to sit down with your husband and just come clean. Don't lie. Don't hold back what TRULY happened. If you want to make any honest attempt at a reconciliation with him, that is all you can do. Then, he needs to decide if he can deal with the betrayal at which point you BOTH decide what will happen to your marriage. 1
GLDheart Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 ...I am beginning to think he is losing interest anyway cos... ...he didn't answer my text yesterday and although he text me early this morning he didn't really say a lot. what can I do. It is my opinion that 90% of the reason you are posting here is because you are getting the "withdrawal" feeling of the Other Man slipping away. He has become your drug of choice that you indulge in as an escape from your boring family life that you have now labeled as an "unhappy marriage". I think you would best be served by a look in the mirror. Is your character that lacking that threatening TWO families is justifiable? Your actions are very self serving... AND YOU KNOW IT.
reboot Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 How is it some guy you apparently didn't know, or didn't know well enough to even know he was married, just out of the blue started texting you asking you to meet him for chatting, cuddling, and sex? How did he get your number? Why would he think you were available? 1
YellowShark Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 I am in a unhappy marriage... I've just found out im pregnant I know its my husband's.. It's so "unhappy" that you two are still making babies? I found out he is also married but he says they are only still together for the kids, same as me. Oldest line in the book. He could leave anytime and the kids would survive. I did when my parents split up. He is probably thrilled to get some sex on the side and will say anything to get it. Im scared that when I tell him he will back off. I am beginning to think he is losing interest anyway cos after spending 3 hours cuddling in bed on Saturday he didn't answer my text yesterday and although he text me early this morning he didn't really say a lot. what can I do. Sounds like the OM is pulling back, and once you tell him you're prego he will dump you hard and fast.. Just watch. You have a very tough road ahead. Try to repair your marriage, ditch the OM. Take care of the new baby that is coming.
96nole Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 Why is your marriage unhappy? Does your husband know it's been an unhappy marriage? If you're going to be having another baby with your husband, don't you think you should do something to fix the marriage? And when I say "do something", I don't mean "do another man".
pink_sugar Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 How do you know for sure this guy cannot have kids? You obviously haven't known him that long, so it's definitely possible he could be lying. You would need to have a paternity test to be sure, which means coming clean with your husband for starters.
reboot Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 So many questions that will never get answered...... 4
FryFish Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 I think you should get an abortion... and then lots and lots of plastic surgery... Just in case you are as ugly on the outside as you are on the inside. 1
SincereOnlineGuy Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 Wait a minute, LG. Are you saying that this MM may have lied about not being able to bear children Y'mean like that guy in Oregon? go without using a condom?! That would be inconceivable! Sounds rather oxymoronic to me. 1
SomedayDig Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 Y'mean like that guy in Oregon? Sounds rather oxymoronic to me. Precisely....on BOTH parts!! I try to be subtle, however sometimes it's a bit obvious.
GLDheart Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 To the OP: Since you lack any real depth to your character this could be a wonderful oppurtunity!! If the baby is the other man's, you could whack him for child support and get a supplemental income out of all of this!! This act of yours was selfless in fact! You really "helped" your family after all.... 1
nofool4u Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 (edited) A couple of month ago aguy started texting me and asking me to meet him I am in a unhappy marriage and agreed to go along I found out he is also married but he says they are only still together for the kids, same as me. I really liked him and we have been texting most days and met up 6 times we will chat cuddle and have sex. the thing is I've just found out im pregnant I know its my husband's as the other guy can't have no more children, I want the child more than anything but I really like this guy and Im scared that when I tell him he will back off. I am beginning to think he is losing interest anyway cos after spending 3 hours cuddling in bed on Saturday he didn't answer my text yesterday and although he text me early this morning he didn't really say a lot. what can I do. Tell your H you are having an affair, screw him over royally by divorcing him and making him pay child support, so that way you are free to bed down this other man all you want. Bottom line, set your husband free from you. He doesn't deserve to be used like this so you can keep having sex with another man. (oh, and saying he can't have more kids, thats one way to get a woman to agree to no condom) On another note, your username. Is this how you see yourself? As a princess? Edited July 3, 2012 by nofool4u
nofool4u Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 Is it just me, or have there been too many people that drop crap like this in a section of the site that most of its frequenters are here to cope with the turmoil caused by people like this, when they can get all the coddling they can find in the OW/OM section? And the fact they are one time posters, or respond very infrequently with short, empty tripe tells me they simply want to drop this and rub BS's nose in sh**
nofool4u Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 Strange stuff gets dropped in the ow section also and for the record there isn't much coddling going on over there either. While I don't disagree that certain replies get dropped in OM/OW, I rarely see anything from one time posters posted over there telling some story to stir the crap. Sure there are questions posted by some long time members who aren't the OW/OM that might ruffle feathers, but nothing dropped by one timers to never reply. Seems that happens only in Infidelity. And yes, lots of coddling for these types of situations by the frequenters of OW/OM section. Ok, enough t/j, back to the thread, assuming this isn't a troll thread.
Spectre Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 (edited) As for how you tell him? Simple, just say "I'm a whore who doesn't actually know what love is and it would probably be in your best interest to remove me out of your life completely". It might seem harsh, but it's not like you don't deserve it. So good luck and I hope whoever you are with wises up and leaves you. Edited July 19, 2012 by Spectre
Ninja'sHusband Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 (edited) My wife was in *exactly* your situation. She did some things well the night she told me...up to a point. First tell him you are pregnant. Let him absorb that. Tell him how much you love him (if it's true). And then....tell him the truth...as much as he wants to know. Don't minimize it. If you lie or leave things out it will work out much worse in the long run. He WILL figure the truth out. I sure did. My wife told me she was pregnant, she didn't know who the father was...but she lied and told me it was one night. After three months of counseling I finally discovered the truth(4 month affair with hotels and everything)...destroyed everything and made it much worse. We are divorcing(though even with the lies I still had tried to make things work, she wouldn't leave her dojo, that's what killed it in the end). Oh and I recommend reading the chapter on forgiveness in the book "Hold me tight". Apologize. Legitimize his pain. Acknowledge what you did was wrong. Show him and assure him that this kinda of thing will never happen again. Offer things you are willing to do to make up, like counseling, changing jobs, calling him and telling him where you are. My wife offered to go to counseling and call me a lot, that helped though in the end it wasn't enough. What rebuilds trust? Truth...and not just the "Look I'm not cheating now!" truth. It's the "This is what really happened, and this is what I'm really thinking now" kinda truth. The hard truth that bares your soul kinda truth. Maybe you'll miscarry. Don't get an abortion, you'll hate yourself even more and the experience is horrible. Miscarriage is bad enough, my wife miscarried a week after she told me. Edited July 19, 2012 by Ninja'sHusband
2sunny Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 Divorce your H since you don't love him. He deserves to be with someone who will honor and respect him - and that's obvious it's not you. Expect your sex buddy to disappear - especially since you may try to pin the child as his. Raise the child on your own. Work and support the child yourself since you may not know who the father is. 1
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