tryingtodiscoveranew Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 Well...it's been more than 2 wks of NC and I feel really good about that! I've been discovering reasons why I leaned so much on my ''addiction''/relationship with my ex. I've also been pretty successful in eliminating some triggers. For example, I always felt inferior to her in many areas of my life. My abilties in the kitchen was one. So, lately I have been stepping up my skills in a major way and really taking good care of myself. Finances was another area. I was the type to take chances and she was more of a saver and scared to take risks. So, I have been struggling to pay off debt for half my life. But, I have taken the steps to educate myself and become more money savvy! Now I noticed that when I go to work, I tend to crave her (along with candy for that matter). I get the overwhelming urge to reach out to her. I can't quit my job, but there must be a way to minmize this ''trigger''. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
january2011 Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 You're probably craving the neurochemical hit that you get from being in love and loving someone else: dopamine, oxytocin and PEA. Certain foods can help you with these cravings - I'd recommend that you try googling for the healthy ones. Exercise or any physical activity such as team sports might also help, especially if you can achieve that "exercise-high."
StarlaStardust Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 I feel the same way at work! 90% of the time, that is where I feel the overwhelming urge to cave and break NC. Do you happen to sit at a desk/do something fairly mundane?
Author tryingtodiscoveranew Posted July 2, 2012 Author Posted July 2, 2012 I feel the same way at work! 90% of the time, that is where I feel the overwhelming urge to cave and break NC. Do you happen to sit at a desk/do something fairly mundane? StarlaStardust... I do happen to have a 90% mundane desk job...excellent guess! I once used sweets as a way of breaking the monotony, but the sugar crashes would make things worse. I do like January2011's suggestion for healthy snacks to replace candy. But, I still need an idea to replace the urge to break NC...
StarlaStardust Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 Haha I knew it! I'm so there. You gotta get up and walk around the block or something. Physically move. Get the blood flowing. Humans weren't meant to be in the invisible desk cage all day, so it's to be completely expected that you would want to alter your physiology with sugar/the rush you get from talking to the opposite sex/etc. Every two hours, take a walk around the block, if you can. Can you listen to youtube? I listen to guided meditations and relaxing zen buddhist music there, which helps a lot. I also started a website where I take requests to translate foreign language song lyrics into English (I've got a linguistics degree), to keep me busy on those slow work days. This is just how I deal with things, and it's still pretty tough sometimes. So hopefully you can start brainstorming creative ways to cope during the workday that are custom tailored to you:)
Author tryingtodiscoveranew Posted July 2, 2012 Author Posted July 2, 2012 Haha I knew it! I'm so there. You gotta get up and walk around the block or something. Physically move. Get the blood flowing. Humans weren't meant to be in the invisible desk cage all day, so it's to be completely expected that you would want to alter your physiology with sugar/the rush you get from talking to the opposite sex/etc. Every two hours, take a walk around the block, if you can. Can you listen to youtube? I listen to guided meditations and relaxing zen buddhist music there, which helps a lot. I also started a website where I take requests to translate foreign language song lyrics into English (I've got a linguistics degree), to keep me busy on those slow work days. This is just how I deal with things, and it's still pretty tough sometimes. So hopefully you can start brainstorming creative ways to cope during the workday that are custom tailored to you:) These are great suggestions! I'm surprised the music idea never occured to me. I love music...it can be a good escape! Walking is also a good option (with music whenever possible, so I won't think too much). Your website sounds cool!. I'd ask you to PM the url to me (only if it's not too personal), but I'm not sure if I'm an established member here yet. I would love to have a fav song translated! I'd reveal my fav foreign language, but my ex would identify me on here right away!
StarlaStardust Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 I feel so happy that my website interests someone! I'm a language freak. I'd be happy to get you the URL somehow. I feel scared to post it here directly because I don't want a google search for it to bring anyone here. Obviously, my name is not really Starla Stardust, and protecting my anonymity feels important to me. I can't listen to music with lyrics except gangster rap. My ex and I really bonded over our shared unique musical tastes, so for now, music is too triggering and he's ruined it forever for me:P
Author tryingtodiscoveranew Posted July 2, 2012 Author Posted July 2, 2012 I feel so happy that my website interests someone! I'm a language freak. I'd be happy to get you the URL somehow. I feel scared to post it here directly because I don't want a google search for it to bring anyone here. Obviously, my name is not really Starla Stardust, and protecting my anonymity feels important to me. I can't listen to music with lyrics except gangster rap. My ex and I really bonded over our shared unique musical tastes, so for now, music is too triggering and he's ruined it forever for me:P Great news!! My last post was my 50th, which I believe makes me eligible for PM now. So, be sure to hook me up with the info. on your site. I too love different languages! There are two, three, or four in particular that I really enjoy hearing. Also, I know how you feel about being unable to listen to music without the thought of your ex. I went through that for a long time. I actually still do at times, but it's not as bad. I think I've been a little distracted lately, that I don't always pick-up on the lyrics as much. My big thing used to be, not being able to listen to a certain artist. Especially her favorite ones! But, the fact that you brought up this topic is great. I can see how far I've come. It doesn't cripple me emotionally when I hear her favorite band playin' on the radio. Thanks Starla Stardust!!
Author tryingtodiscoveranew Posted July 2, 2012 Author Posted July 2, 2012 I will look into that now.
Author tryingtodiscoveranew Posted July 3, 2012 Author Posted July 3, 2012 Bad news...I read all the info., but I can't find any of the icons to be able to PM you. This is awful. Looks like I may have to google your site for now.
StarlaStardust Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 booooo. It's pretty new so google hasn't picked it up yet. hmmmm. well - here is the address, but with numbers in between the letters of the address: b1u2t3w4h1a2t3a4r1e2t3h4e1y2s3a4y1i2n3g4 dottttt commmmm lol, I feel ridiculous going through all these lengths, so I understand if you don't want to take the time to remove the numbers from the address. Anyway, feel free to submit a request!! That goes for any of you:)
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