woinlove Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 We have no doubt we are in love, and it is SO bizarre to me that some people instantly " know" that a guy cannot be in love, yet have a threesome. Which brought me to the thread - being IN love, and having sex willingly with another person. From your OP, I thought you wanted to discuss cheating and most of the responses assumed the same. Threesomes is an interesting topic too, but probably best placed in a general forum, since infidelity by definition implies unfaithfulness and disloyalty. An agreed to threesome isn't cheating. Did you really want to discuss whether one can love someone and have a threesome? Or did you want to discuss whether people see threesomes the same or different from cheating?
MissBee Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 I agree with onthefence. I think people do get into As for different reasons and while inexcusable, they may in their minds believe certain things. I think someone can be involved in an A and still believe they love their spouse and still want to stay married and say they are “happy”. I agree with Spark and MMChaucer that doing so points to that person’s internal issues where actions and words don’t match up or actions and what they THINK they’re doing don’t match up. I think that sometimes in As the OW/OM believes the person doesn’t love their spouse and now loves them or loves them more than their spouse and certainly in my A I assumed this to be the case…until I asked and he burst my bubble by saying he still loved her but he loved me too. In his mind, he believed he could love two women and have a secret A and it be good for her, him and me as well. It was no doubt problematic and my definition of love doesn’t include that…but the point is, for him it wasn’t a case where he consciously felt like he no longer loved her why he was doing it. To him, his feelings had not changed for her, I was just in addition and separate from that. He in fact said "I love her, but that has nothing to do with my feelings for you." Likewise, I think many people cheat and still want to be married, still have romantic feelings for their spouse/SO and aren’t simply out of love. They just have let other things override that. I’ve never cheated but the closest was when I was in the A. I decided not to be monogamous because he wasn’t. I did this to partly protect myself and maintain my “freedom”. However, truth was, I loved him and valued him more than any man I went out with and was casually seeing. They were something to do “on the side” as a distraction, particularly when I was upset with him/the situation. I didn’t tell him too much about what I did, as he’d be upset, but the truth is: at the time, if he had asked me not to or I felt like I would lose him if he found out, I would have dropped them in a heart beat because I valued him more. I only was doing it as a defense mechanism and distraction for myself and not because I felt less for him and didn’t love him. I think some people experience similar things in cheating scenarios, especially short term As and one night stands, where they are looking for outside validation/fun etc for whatever reason, but have no intention or desire to actually be 100% with someone else and when found out, they do everything to get back into their spouse's good graces because they value their marriage more…although their actions leading up to that point didn't show it.
MissBee Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 There are many for whom sex is just an exercise and activity and the acquisition of sex is a game. It has little to do with their actual feelings for another person so they delude themselves that while they love their chosen partner, having sex with another is a separate matter entirely. It is a matter of polarized thought; they consciously separate the two concepts and it does not dawn on them that having sex with a person outside their own relationship is hurtful or even a betrayal of their "true feelings" towards their partner. It has little to do with "true love" but moreso about RESPECT. I have known men who "truly love" their wives but don't respect them enough to provide fidelity. I have no doubt they have genuine loving emotions towards their wife, but their own brain synapses operate on such a different level to justify their indiscretions. This is very true and pretty much what I'm saying, but better Except I'd add that for some, it's not only sex, but some also believe they can carry on whole other emotional attachments with someone else and it not have anything to do with their primary relationship---which was exactly what my former AP believed.
Author Leigh 87 Posted July 3, 2012 Author Posted July 3, 2012 ighYou need to read about the brain chemistry of love as well as all the stages of love. Google Helen Fisher and others. In the early stages of deep romantic love there is a powerful obsessive component about your mate and there is no room for anyone else. This is a wonderful stage, however, the intensity does not last forever. As a general rule during the height of early love and romantic attachment there is no desire to mate with others.. The curiosity about having sex with others and variety usually comes much later after the initial romantic enchantment is replaced by a more calm and less intense form of romantic attachment. I am surprised that your BF wanted the threesome during the early phase of romantic love. During this time his only obsession should have been you and no one else. He is not the obsessive type; he is affectionate and makes it clear that he likes you, though; he was the same with his ex, the only other girl he has EVER liked in his adult life. I know he adored her too, yet he was not obsessive with her either, and he wanted a threesome with her too. We had a threesome after 5 and 10 months together; just before we fell in love, and also after we felt love. The first threesome was actually instigated by some crazy girl literally going up to me, holdig my face, and kissing me, with little willingless on my part haha. She then ran into my bedroom, jumped onto my bed where my bf was sleeping, and shouted " threesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I thought it was hilarious and very entertaining and amusing; furthermore, I knew a threesome was a long held fantasy of my bf, and thought I would let him have some fun, since we were had no desire to settle down. It was about 4 - 5 months, and we liked each other and never had urges to cheat, but still were not the types to think about the future at our age with our level of experience in relationships, and we were not the types who wated to " settle down" until out 30's. I have onl been with my bf and one other man in about 6 years - and it was not because I was too ugly to get guys; I simply had no need to hae sex with various guys because I DO hae high self respect for my body!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 Attention seeking by wanting to say that I have tried out there things came from growing up and under achieving at school; I could have done very well, but did not give a cr@p at the time, so sought out attention seeing tendencies instead, since I could not get attention from my looks or academic achievements. I saw the error of my attention seeking ways after the threesomes; it was part of WHY I did them, since I have NO attraction to girls. I realized that I have integroty and self respect, but was not showing it and 100% acting in that manner, so I have since stopped any attention seeking methods. Instead, I long to be good at my career, and I feel proud about knowing myself enough to know what career path I want to go down the most, as well as being fit healthy and a generous and lovely person. The other two threesomes were with hookers. We were underwhelmed with the first threesome, and the girl was a little crazy! She is popular and very spcially adept, but after the threesome, she went and had sex with a male friend who was in the house. The only other male friend there, who she had been hooking up with all night:sick: ( by the way, she has since changed and does not talk to my . I am glad to hear she has changed, and has a lot of firends, is back at school, ad is not out with multiple men and onl has sex with people she dates.
Author Leigh 87 Posted July 3, 2012 Author Posted July 3, 2012 And my boyfriends obsession came later on - I was VERY hard to truly get to know. I had an eating disorder and was a shell of a person, so it took him a year to even START to find out who the real me WAS. Now we both have a relationship based on who I really am - before I was a girl figuring out who she was, I was extremely under developed when I first met my bf. To begin with before he got to know me at all, we had very little to go on, aside from a " thing" we just had. We felt that we would just work. We were drawn together, nto through chemistry, but through something that just made us want to stick around, in spite of the fact that we had nothing in common. I turned down a guy who I met at the same time as him, who was a beter match, but I could not get past a " thing" that was there with my bf, from the moment we spoke. It was electrifing and I cannot explain it, nor do I necessarily believe in that stuff now.... Iti s just how it was, and it had nothing to do with sexual chemistry or compatability. We do not want threesomes now, we have clicked and well and truly know each other well, and this happened after over a year together - he know views me as a quirky, very unique inndividual that i truly have become.... He cannot really imagine being with another girl now that he knows me very well. Before, we were connected but still wanted to try a threesome out. Now we know each other very deaply, we are at a new level of love, and cannot reall fathom another threesome. We are too connected, and have a strong drive to bond through being monogomus. The REASON I started the thread, was because people questioning his love for me, made me think about people who cheated, and if they were able to be in love and cheat. I want to steer this thread back onto the right track now Please! The only thing I want to say about my threesome now, that I have shed more light on it and can therefore get more informed opinions, is the correlation between being in love, and the ABILITY to be with other people.
Author Leigh 87 Posted July 3, 2012 Author Posted July 3, 2012 I Just find a common thread between swingers, open relationships, threesomes AND people who cheat and claim to be in love. SOme people just would not do ANY of those things, because they believe it uis NOT possible to be in true love, and be with ANY other person!!!!!!!!!!!!
Author Leigh 87 Posted July 3, 2012 Author Posted July 3, 2012 My key board is broken sorry for the lack of spelling, bloody keyboard, it is painfully hard to type on it yikes!
Silly_Girl Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 I Just find a common thread between swingers, open relationships, threesomes AND people who cheat and claim to be in love. SOme people just would not do ANY of those things, because they believe it uis NOT possible to be in true love, and be with ANY other person!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't agree. In two long-term relationships we have very seriously discussed swinging/threesomes and once started down that road, and those things were viewed as a part of the existing relationship, a part of OUR sex life, similar to porn or masturbation. Cheating involves omitting truths and outright lying, however the other things you mention - to my mind - are very much the opposite and sharing and communicating and honesty are paramount.
woinlove Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 I agree with Silly Girl, in that I don't see threesomes, swinging or open marriages like cheating. I suspect even many people who disapprove of any sex outside M for religious reasons or whatever, see a difference between lies and deception versus open communication and honoring one's stated commitments. If honesty and loyalty don't matter to you much, then perhaps these things would look more similar. 2
Author Leigh 87 Posted July 3, 2012 Author Posted July 3, 2012 Congratulations! It is a beautiful stage, but it does not last forever. However, during this stage there is generally no need to seek others for sexual gratification. Sadly, this stage does not last forever and it is replaced by a calm form of long attachment. At this stage many folks bail out because they think love should be as in the initial stages. The people that have a long lasting relationship find a way to keep the flame burning. Not everybody is capable of doing this. I will also assume that once this stage is over he will want other women. Are you OK with that? I do not think he will want other women so much that he will be unhappy unless he gets them. I have talked to him about this. I told him that we are young, and that if he ever needs other women in order to be happy with me --- that I deserve a guy who only needs me to be happy. I also said if I was together with a guy for LIFE, or even 10 years, that I would want him to go to a evry attractive, high class hooker every two years. ust once every two - three years. That is just MY belief system - I believe even if a man is in love, that te years with the same women is not ideal or essential; I think SOME men who love their partners, would reall appreciate a new, attractive body to have sex with every few years. Purely to satisfy the NATURAL need for sexual varity. My boyfriend even echoes my view befire I told him I had it; he said Leigh, I could be a very,. very happy man with just you for my entire life. What we have is enough to make me very happy. While I do not even remotel want other women at this stage, if we remain together for a very long time, I can see myself ENOYING the very rare, occasional threesome or high class hooker - but these are things I will ever " need" with you, but are things I am sure I would eventually be able to ENJOY. I asked him if he met the " perfect women", if he things he has it in him to totally change his view, and only ever desire the one women for his entire life with her. He is ADAMANT that he WILL NOT meet some magical women, who will make him never want sex with other women again. He says it is simply a physical and sexual urge, that he does not think he will ever " need", but something he would ENJOY. ... So, I do not think that he will eventually want other women , to the extent that he would rather leave me to have that fix. Furthermore - if I wanted him to not ever be with other wome again, I do not think he would ever be " unhappy" with me. I think, fromt he bottom of my heart, that he would still be very happy and content with just ME, and that other women would be a happy bonus. I am NOT mans door mat, man........... I will NOT " settle" for a man who needs to go bang other women more than say, once a year or two, and who is only like that with me, because he has not met the " right" women, who he will then change for. NO way. I will only be with men who love me truly and properly, for whome sex with other women is something they would enjoy with ANY WOMEN they truly love. That it is not because I am not enough for them.
Author Leigh 87 Posted July 3, 2012 Author Posted July 3, 2012 Congratulations! It is a beautiful stage, but it does not last forever. However, during this stage there is generally no need to seek others for sexual gratification. Sadly, this stage does not last forever and it is replaced by a calm form of long attachment. At this stage many folks bail out because they think love should be as in the initial stages. The people that have a long lasting relationship find a way to keep the flame burning. Not everybody is capable of doing this. I will also assume that once this stage is over he will want other women. Are you OK with that? Also, I do not think we are i some honymoon stage. I just think we have arrived at a place where we are extremely close and can 120% be our selves around each other - to a frightening extent... It is as though no one is watching us, we are just ourselves, and we both very much love the people we both are. We have built a strong love through hims sticking by me when I had a serious mental illness, that I had to gain 20 lbs sice I met him for, and that left me socially stunted, with no friends and no job. He did not judge me for these things, and really, NO GUY would have stuck around while I was a total mental case! I was truly I mess. I think our love is based on him seeing me at my very worst, having srevere panic attacks, kicking screaming and crying, and having no friends or a career at bloody 25!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He saw tremendous potantial for us and I URGED him and even BEGGED him to just LEAVE BE BE, to HAVE other girls and have fun for a while, so that I could get better and in a healthy enough state for a relationship. If we were meant to be together, we would wind up together when I was well. I know that if we gopt into contact when I had a job, some friends, and was i a healthy mental state, that hey, if he was THAT into me to begin with, that he would come back. I am very much like that; if a guy is into you, he will want to be with you. If not they are not. Plety of fish in the sea, at my age of 24 ( at the time!!). That is one reason why meaningless sex within a relatioship for a guy, does not perturb me; if they are that into me, they will not go and want to do it behind my back once they get a taste of sexual v arity within a loving relatinship. They will merely enoy the varity I allow them to have once in a blue moon, and be done with it until I decide to give them another " present" haha. He flat out refused, even forced him to try it. We ust could not stop thinking about each other, even when he went on vacation and was around some of the hottest women in the world, and went to clubs and wet T shirt contests and pubs and concerts. WE BOTH KNEW I was not well enough to have a relationship, and it was against all odds that we got through it all. It was very hard at times wioth constant drama from MY end... Thank god,. I am arriving at a happy place, that is calm and drama free: I am working a bit, and studying for m ideal career, and have a back up career I am already qualified for. I can se myself going to college/ Uni while I work full time. I have a plan and am a healthy weight now. I absolutely do not think we are in the honey moon phase. Since we have fone through so much drama together - with hims ticking by me while I have overcome my mental illness - I am getting help, but I had to woro VERY hard and use self talk, in order to move forward. We also love together, have been through a maoy mental illness together, and he has bathed me when I drunk too much and was knocked out with vomit all over me, and saw me with vomit and no make up on..... ( and then apparently got turned on by bathing me and wanted to have sex, even though I was out like a light. LOL......) The " honeymoon" stage begs a new question, in regards to the originaltopic right there.. " does the honey moon phase, have a bearing over when cheating occurs?" " Do people think that, because this honeymoon stage ends, that since they love their partner, that the new thrill of the chase and the new thrill of a new body - excuses them from cheating, because they simply want to be in a loving, deap partnership, and yet just have the new thrill factor going on?:"
Author Leigh 87 Posted July 3, 2012 Author Posted July 3, 2012 Hmmmm...this makes as much sense to me as have a third eye in the middle of my forehead. Look,. I know our relationship, and I think he is crazy about me, and I do not think that he will need other women because he is not happy with me ok? I do not believe I picked a man who is not that into me, and therefore needs other women. It is not black and white. Just because he is a guy who ca be in love and enjoy sexual varity, does not mean he " needs" it ust to be happy with me, and it does not mea he is able to go pick up some chick and hook up with them. He does not like foreplay and being intimate with girls besides me, and can only really brig himself to have sex with a high class hooker, because he can get out of the foreplay. In the contect of our relationship, he enjoys the varity in women, sure, but there are SOME things he does not enjoy with other women; he could not give a sh*t about their pleasure, he is not there to please them, and does not get anythinig out of making another women feel good. Therefore, hookers are the only way for him to be able to actuall carry out the " threesome" or " varity in sex" theory. Our situation works for us, because I would not want him, if he wanted to please other girls and go down on them; the thiing I like about our arrangment and belief systems, are that he only can go down on girls he loves. He has only gone down on me and his ex, and can only do it with feelings attached ( and then he loves it!). So, if he was a guy who loved eating pussy, even to random girls her hooked up with, I would not be with them to begin with if they wanted to be with other women; because to be, foreplay is intimate, and about them wanting ti please the other person. As long as my bf has no desire to care about their pleasure, and only gets off thinking about pleasing me, then i really do not have any feelings towards him having meaningless sex with a human sex toy.
Author Leigh 87 Posted July 3, 2012 Author Posted July 3, 2012 Sometimes things can make perfect sense to the two people involved, but not to others. That's normal. Any ways, can people please give me imput on the honeymoon phase, and its correlation to cheating? Someone in here said, that unless u put your wife on pedestall all of the time, and unless it is honey moon like phase ALL of the time, that people are silly enough to seek people outside of their relatioship, thinking they are missing something. I think cheating must be about missing something int he relationship in many cases; but that people who are totally happy in relationships still have character flaws and cheat regadless of how satisfied they are.
Silly_Girl Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 Look,. I know our relationship, and I think he is crazy about me, and I do not think that he will need other women because he is not happy with me ok? I do not believe I picked a man who is not that into me, and therefore needs other women. To be fair to him he *has* told you there will be other women in the future - you do realise that?
Author Leigh 87 Posted July 4, 2012 Author Posted July 4, 2012 Yes it is black and white for me...that's why it makes no sense to me. And I'm good with that. Then get out of my thread please, if your one of the ignorant people who do not even know my boyfriend, yet thinks he does not love me and needs to go banging other women. Because this is not the case and not our reality. You are just one of those people who think that if a guy loves a girl and is into her, he will magically never want to have sex with another women for their entire lives.
Author Leigh 87 Posted July 4, 2012 Author Posted July 4, 2012 To be fair to him he *has* told you there will be other women in the future - you do realise that? He told me he that he cannot see himself wanting other women. But I know that it is natural for men to desire to have sex with more tha one women, i a ten or more year period. He said it would be something he may consider later down the track - to have another threesome or meaningless sex with a women again - but that it is not something he thinks about now, and that he may never think about it. I just know that some men in love, will enoy other women occasionally.
Silly_Girl Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 He told me he that he cannot see himself wanting other women. But I know that it is natural for men to desire to have sex with more tha one women, i a ten or more year period. He said it would be something he may consider later down the track - to have another threesome or meaningless sex with a women again - but that it is not something he thinks about now, and that he may never think about it. I just know that some men in love, will enoy other women occasionally. He is saying now that he's likely to want to enjoy other women. I think it's human nature to downplay such things slightly, or to be optimistic. So my view is that this will likely rear its head sooner than you think. If you're both okay with that, so be it.
Author Leigh 87 Posted July 4, 2012 Author Posted July 4, 2012 He is saying now that he's likely to want to enjoy other women. I think it's human nature to downplay such things slightly, or to be optimistic. So my view is that this will likely rear its head sooner than you think. If you're both okay with that, so be it. Yes, but I told him that I am not a door matt, and that I can find plenty of men who would only need ME to be happy. If he is unhappy with just having me, then he should go find a women who makes him happy enough to be monogomus with. Where another women is a bonus, not a given. He maintains that it is not about finding the right girl, but rather he does not think it is essetial or ideal for a guy to be crazy in love and only have sex with one women for their entire life. Which echos my own view. We are on the same page, but he has to not want them in ways that I am not comfortable with. If he wanted to make it all about them ; if he wanted to go down on other girls and please them, and if he cared about pleasing them, and if THEIr pleasure was something he wanted to spend his time on - I would not be with him. I am comfortable with the idea of other women, because he only feels like making the effort to please a women when he is in love with them or is VERY much into them. Because it sounds like he only wants the new body, as a human sex toy, for varities sake, and just for straight, meaningles sex - it means nothing to me. I am not adversely affected. I have talked extensively to him about it. He knows I would rather get a guy who is into me, and does not " need" other women as an essential given... He knows that, if it was a matter of him not being in love with me, and therefore needing to find the right women who he will magically never want other women and threesomes with - that again, I would show him the door. I think he understands me.
Author Leigh 87 Posted July 4, 2012 Author Posted July 4, 2012 Where can I buy the crystal ball you are using? Or are you really an clairvoyant who can tell me what I am feeling and thinking? Notice (for those who are comprehension challenged)that I spoke of MY feelings ...... You responded to some perceived notion that told you how your man child thought...I did not, hence the following post..... Again...I made no mention of what your man wants, my expectations of what he wants, if he loves you or not.... nor of your reality or lack there of. Again....works for me. I live in reality... I feel I know what my partner and I believe in and think. My whole point, was that just because he enoys the idea of being in along term relationship, and still being able to have the very occasional meaningless sex with a hooker or in a threesome, that it is not akin to him saying " look babe, I am just not that into you, and will be needing other women to compensate for the fact that Iam not head over heals for you.... and when I find the right women, I will want to be with her, and never want to have sex with another women again"
Steadfast Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 I live in reality... I feel I know what my partner and I believe in and think. With all respect (I mean this, because you seem like a bright, intelligent young woman) you're cheating yourself. I probably sound like an ogre to you, but sex is best -at its very best and most powerful- when it is shared with your husband or wife. Deep commitment. A loving gift. The ability to say "As a daughter, a sister, a mother, an employee...whatever is asked of me and whatever I have to give of myself, this is for you and you alone." Recreational sex is like candy; very powerful, attractive, but brief. Its allure is strong, but it never gives back what it promises beforehand. I know you've adopted a very progressive, liberal attitude/belief about this, but know in the end what you invest will directly affect what is returned. Don't trust feelings. Trust fact. It's there. Look for it. I've cemented my position. You can't cheat if you're in love. Not possible. It's a straight up, bold contradiction against nature. Not possible. Not ever. Hang in there. No judgement from me. Just experience put into words.
Author Leigh 87 Posted July 4, 2012 Author Posted July 4, 2012 With all respect (I mean this, because you seem like a bright, intelligent young woman) you're cheating yourself. I probably sound like an ogre to you, but sex is best -at its very best and most powerful- when it is shared with your husband or wife. Deep commitment. A loving gift. The ability to say "As a daughter, a sister, a mother, an employee...whatever is asked of me and whatever I have to give of myself, this is for you and you alone." Recreational sex is like candy; very powerful, attractive, but brief. Its allure is strong, but it never gives back what it promises beforehand. I know you've adopted a very progressive, liberal attitude/belief about this, but know in the end what you invest will directly affect what is returned. Don't trust feelings. Trust fact. It's there. Look for it. I've cemented my position. You can't cheat if you're in love. Not possible. It's a straight up, bold contradiction against nature. Not possible. Not ever. Hang in there. No judgement from me. Just experience put into words. Why thank you for your kind words:) most people on here think I am well below average in intellegence, because apparently my grammar is too poor for me to possible have a brain, and any capacity to socialize with " educucated people":D:lmao: ( little do they know, I get along with " clever people" just fine in real life, and am not limited in life by my academic abilities.. plenty of clever people get along with me just fine, and do not speak an alternate language that " us dumb folks" cannot understand:lmao: Regarding my relationship with my bf, I do not feel limited. I see no reason to leave him. We would both be miserable without each other. He would give up other women in a heartbeat if I wated him to. I have told him that I need a man who does not need other women, I do not need him if he wants other women; i said I MIGHT accommodate a threesome fantasy, or give him a super hot high class hooker if we are together for a very long time, as a one off " present" that I feel is harmless. Really, I see no reason to leave him. For what? So I can find someone who " loves me" properly? I feel loved just find. We are has happy as you can be. We are very happy and adore each other, and have the best life together - why gibve it up? Like I said - I am 99.99999999999999999999 % sure if I left him, and said it was because he needs other women, and I want a man who only needs ME, he would proclaim his undying love for me, and tell me he is happy to never have sex with another women again. I honestly do not think I need to break up with him? We are very happy and would both be utterly heartbroken without each other, for a very long time. I doubt he will then go on to meet a women, where he felt compelled to NEVER have sex with another women, for as long as they both shall live!!!!! It IS NOT ME; it is HIM. His enoyment of threesomes has nothing to do with not loving me enough, and everything to do with his ability to LOVE meaningful, committed sex with a long term partner, and also have the prospect of another women once in a very blue moon. We both agree that sex is FAR more powerful, and is only really enjoyable, when it is between too monogomus, comitted people. He agrees whole heartedly, and he would not LET me leave him to go and pursue that with another man; heh as made it very clear he wants that with me, threesomes or not.
Author Leigh 87 Posted July 4, 2012 Author Posted July 4, 2012 And I am sort of earing on the side of cheating not being possible with those who feel the strongest, most proufound love. I think there are some LEVELS of love that cheating cannot occur within......................... Although I could be wrong.. How likely is it, though, that a person who experiences love at the deapest level, would be SO flawed in character, that they could cheat ANd feel such a deap love? I would say in almost all cases, a person who is experiencing the very deapest of love for another person, would not be able to cheat, unless the had a mental illness or something was seriously wrong with them. ............I DO think there is a grey area, and that there is a SMALLLL percentage of men and women, who have the ABILITY to ve in the deapest of love, and have other sexual partners. It would be extremely rare, of course!!!!!!!!!! If it exists. There are NO definate answers here! People will FEEL truly in love, and claim to be able to cheat on the side. However dishonest and discpicable it is!!!!!!!!!!!!11 Love cannot be measured, people can only feel what they feel, and claim to cheat or not when they feel such things...... People who claim to both be in love, will both disagree as to wheather cheating is possible in the greatest deapths of love.... There are only two sorts of love I believe in so far, from my experience; fake love, where you care about the person and like them a lot, but are not fully IN the relationship, and frequently come across people who are as remarkable and appealing to you to be with, besides your partner... THEN there is the love wher the two people really think enough of each other to know that nothing else is worth trying out with other peopel, because what you have at that time does not ALLOW for you to shop around, and even compare of prospects to your relationship... Basically, to me, there is more invested, deap love, where to people adore one another and want to be together more than anything..... Then there is the love where people are more easily swayed by temptations, becase they are not all that invested and IN their current relationship..
Benedictatu Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 Yes he cheated on me even though he did truly love me I was his wife we were together for so long had lovely children and a beautiful home he had everything and still he cheated so yes they can.
GLDheart Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 ...most people on here think I am well below average in intellegence, because apparently my grammar is too poor for me to possible have a brain... Leigh, You are too hard on yourself. Your writing is just fine and your vocabulary displays a fair bit of education. Back on the subject: I agree that you can have a deeply loving relationship that can explore sexual variety etc such as the one you describe with your partner. However, I feel as though the majority of the posters expressing the opposite side of the debate are simply VERY nervous about how insidiously and quickly that type of relationship can corrupt into a disgusting web of lies. It just happens so often. It's like playing with fire. I think that the more experienced posters here in this thread REALLY REALLY fear you will get burned. Best of luck to you though. It is, of course, your life to live the way you choose.
2.50 a gallon Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 We are all different, when I was in my 20's I was a dedicated pussy hound, until my Ex Fiance came along. She was that special someone that comes along once or twice in a life time. The problem was I was living in this beautiful orchard filled with lots of fresh ripe fruit, and she wanted me to pluck from just her tree. That did not compute in my brain. While I was able to cut way back on my partners, every once in awhile there would be the perfect peach that I just had to try. She never caught me and we broke up for other reasons.
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