What's the Point of Being Mean?

[radrluv72]

Lol OP, you misunderstood me. Im not judging on why you decided to be intimate or how or why etc..I firmly believe any woman can exercise their sexuality however they want to without having to be stigmatized.

 

Im not going to keep arguing with you cuz its a lost cause but what

I was very origionally trying to say ( before you attacked my intial post) is that I didn't think his comment was that big of a deal. I dont think he was trying to be condecending or anything like that. Maybe since this last email you had with him was all through writing you took it the wrong way as things dont always come across the way they were intended online.

 

I suggest you stop letting his comment bug you and forget about him altogether. Those are my two cents. Best of luck to you.

 

...And I think you misunderstood me too. It's not about getting him back. It's not about reconciliation. It's not about making him say he's sorry, or guilt-tripping him. It's about the fact that once upon a time I cared for this man, for a brief time. And when things ended, he treated me badly. My friend told me, "he broke you." If the shoe were on the other foot, I wouldn't dream of talking to someone who once cared for me so disrepectfully. And it hurts to know that he clearly never cared enough about me as a person that he thinks it's okay to talk to me like some kind of a cheap whore. I've never been treated like that. He can go to hell.

[SarahRose]

So really why do you contact someone who treated you like garbage and you didn't expect a reply from? Why would you do that?

 

And yeah I do think you pestered him. This guy told you what he was about before you got with him. Recently divorced and having lots of meaningless flings.

 

Im older than you are and you do seem a bit naive about dating for your age.

 

I hope you know to stay away from separated and recently divorced men and for goodness sake don't jump into bed with them first thing.

 

you came here asking for advice, try to listen to what people are trying to tell you.

[Sugarkane]

OP people are mean because they can/ don't care about other people. I'm not sure why you bothered to communicate with this guy. When someone is an Ahole cut them off! You won't get any sense from Aholes trust me.

[radrluv72]

So really why do you contact someone who treated you like garbage and you didn't expect a reply from? Why would you do that?

 

And yeah I do think you pestered him. This guy told you what he was about before you got with him. Recently divorced and having lots of meaningless flings.

 

Im older than you are and you do seem a bit naive about dating for your age.

 

I hope you know to stay away from separated and recently divorced men and for goodness sake don't jump into bed with them first thing.

 

you came here asking for advice, try to listen to what people are trying to tell you.

 

One: again, I did it to honestly tell him good luck. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

Two: I did NOT pester him.

 

Three: I am NOT naive about men. I expect people to act like people.

 

Four: What advice exactly have I gotten? Frankly, all I'm getting is insulted. I'm naive. I'm a psycho. It's okay to talk to me like I'm a whore. Frankly, that's all I've heard so far. And then I get everyone telling me to stop contacting him--NO ONE READS. I HAVE STOPPED CONTACTING HIM. I HAVE NO DESIRE TO GET BACK TOGETHER WITH HIM.

 

But as far as advice goes, I have yet to actually hear any. And I didn't come here looking for advice. I came here trying to vent over the fact that someone I used to care about talked to me so horribly. No one seems to get that.

 

You know what, never mind then. Apparently I came to wrong place expecting people to just listen, and all I get is everyone telling me what's so wrong with me--and not HIM.

[Jono85]

only from the OP and not knowing any backstory, it is you that comes off extremely immature here imo. you were asking some pretty loaded questions here. u play the victim and say u just wanted to say hello, and engage in innocent talk yet ur OPENING line is "back at it again huh" refrencing dating new women?? lol pleaseeee. does that really sound innocent to you?? to me, "hey, how are you? " sounds innocent, not "back at the ol dating again huh?". and then you CONTINUE by telling him you have a new date set up, and how it has better hopes than the last guy you dated (btw if that was HIM you were referencing, even more disastrous). reall??? what are we in high school?? all he asked was how are you, yet u launch into how excited u are to go on a date tonight?? lmao at innocent convo and just wanting to chat. ur motives are so obvious its pathetic. guys can see right through that. hell, kids can see right through this... and i won't go on about you overreacted and came off 'pscyho' to his response b/c it's mostly been covered already. but honestly, stop lying to yourself. you're not over him, not even close, and u need to REMOVE yourself from the situation COMPLETELY. stop contacting someone u perceive as a jerk. time to start NC over agian, and stick to it. gl.

[Ruby65]

Venting is great! It's wonderful to come here and post to people who understand because they've been there.

 

I think the point some posters were making was that YOU initiated contact both times, so it's hard to point a finger at the guy who was just respecting the rules of NC.

 

To me, his remark seemed hurtful because it was so casual and a bit flirty and suggestive. I don't think he MEANT it be outrageous or insulting -- but it probably hurt you A LOT that he could be so casual now about your break-up and make reference to your past sexual relationship in such a light way, like it meant nothing.

 

That's what would've hurt ME about it, anyway.

 

I think you over-reacted because it hurt that he was so flippant..... I can completely understand over-reacting to something like that.

 

The lesson here for everyone is: never never ever break NC! Not even to be friendly.....you just never know what kind of sh*tstorm will be unleashed by even the most well-meaning type of contact....!

 

The feelings that come out of it are just too strong and unpredictable.

[flitzanu]

did you honestly expect a "good" conversation with an EX, on a DATING SITE, with you sending a snobby passive-aggressive first statement after not talking for months?