irc333 Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 I have a friend of mine, I swear that will NEVER date a woman that has the SAME first name as his ex. Is this a bit irrational? I am sure it probably has to do with a bad experience with the ex. Or...is this completely rational?
TaraMaiden Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 I have a friend of mine, I swear that will NEVER date a woman that has the SAME first name as his ex. Is this a bit irrational? I am sure it probably has to do with a bad experience with the ex. Or...is this completely rational? He's being completely ludicrous. This is HIS hang-up, and he's shutting down his options... Let's see.... I'm not going to date another man, because that makes him the same gender as my ex. From now, it's just ladies, or I'll get a pet dog. Get outta here....
Author irc333 Posted July 1, 2012 Author Posted July 1, 2012 He's being completely ludicrous. This is HIS hang-up, and he's shutting down his options... Let's see.... I'm not going to date another man, because that makes him the same gender as my ex. From now, it's just ladies, or I'll get a pet dog. Get outta here.... Even if the experience with the ex of the same name was a very bad one? Hm, also, I have another male friend, that will not date Latin women, because he's lumped them into same "got a hot temper" category. "I won't date Latin women, because they all have tempers". Man, just when you thought the height requirement was bad. LOL
january2011 Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 It's his choice. If he still has numerous opportunities to date, despite his preferences, then I say kudos to him. It only becomes a problem when his preferences restrict his dating pool considerably and he complains about there being no women out there, having conveniently forgotten that he imposed the restrictions himself. 2
zengirl Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 The assumption that dating is a series of rational choices is irrational, IMO, but yes, there's no logical basis for that choice -- it's an emotional one. 2
xpaperxcutx Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 And I thought i have hangups. I don't date men in finance and I avoid lawyers. They may be well off but they also make horrific boyfriends.
MrCastle Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 It's funny; when you come on here, there are always people here to defend/explain every scenario. Shallow people don't exist, they just have "standards". People with weird demands/restrictions don't exist, they just have "preferences". In reality though, shallow people DO exist. We've all met them. And people with weird hangups/irrational preferences also exist. This case is part of the latter group. Cutting potential partners out because of their name? Lame. 1
TaraMaiden Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 Ok, let's be fair, any guy I might meet with the name 'Hitler' may be a bit of a turn-off.... but then again, if he were a Vicar.... No. Hang on.... No. Still a turn-off. 1
KathyM Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 It sounds pretty normal to me. You have bad experiences/feelings towards your ex, and a lot of hurt associated with her. You naturally associate her with that name, and I think it's pretty normal not to want to be repeating that name with someone else. Some people are able to disassociate a name with a person enough to not let it affect a new relationship, but I think it's perfectly normal and understandable if you are not. My husband has the same first name as my first long term bf, which seems kind of weird sometimes, because the name is unusual, but I didn't have a real negative history with the first guy, so I don't have negative feelings associated with that name. I think it's understandable if you don't want to be saying that same name with a new gf if you have such bad memories of the other person. 1
GravityMan Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 I have a friend of mine, I swear that will NEVER date a woman that has the SAME first name as his ex. Is this a bit irrational? I am sure it probably has to do with a bad experience with the ex. Or...is this completely rational? That's irrational and silly...but at the same time it's also pretty understandable. Many people make dating decisions and actions that are driven by emotion; some of them to the point where rationality is left at the door.
louise_23 Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 I have a friend of mine, I swear that will NEVER date a woman that has the SAME first name as his ex. Is this a bit irrational? I am sure it probably has to do with a bad experience with the ex. Or...is this completely rational? i think of this as i think of what id name my kids. or even my pets. theres plenty of names i wouldnt use because of people ive met and ****ing hated. particularly from my school years. its an association thing. i cant stand hearing my ex's name, so i probably wouldnt date someone with his name either. i think this is perfectly rational.
FitChick Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 I dated a man who said he could never date a woman with brown eyes. It made him shudder just to think about it.
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