gant29 Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 I am 34 years old and I want to die. I have succeeded in losing the love of my life. The thought of being alone, trying again with someone else, trusting anyone again is terrifying. I feel so old. So used up. So empty. Alone. Tonight I went to a party, and I messed around with someone in the alley. I felt disgusted with myself. I came home missing her, needing her. And she's gone. I don't know how I am going to get through this. I don't know.
wuggle Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 (edited) I think if you read through a lot of the threads on this site you will see many many people started out where you are, that's why they came here.They pieced their life back together and many found that they enjoyed life more. Loss, whatever the form, is a part of life. If this person was the love of your life and you have definitely lost them, you can rebound. You have been given much good advice already about your previous relationship, which did sound quite toxic, I think you need to let it go and move on. Take each day as it comes and do things for yourself. Get new interests (or revive old ones), maybe stop trying to establish relationships with others, whatever the form, and just concentrate on you. What else makes you happy ? Just let relationships happen (or not) or their own accord. You never know, maybe there will be another love of your life out there..maybe on ethat will treat you even better ?. Edited July 1, 2012 by wuggle
Exit Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 Might be annoying to hear it, but I know how you feel. I'd by lying if I said I don't usually go to bed thinking that I'd be perfectly fine if I don't wake up the next day, and absolutely dreading it when my eyes do open 8 hours later. It sucks but I'm a loser with no friends and no life and nothing going for me and I've been dealing with my breakup for 8 months, so if I can keep going I hope you'll find the strength to do so as well.
Sugarkane Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 You aren't that old you're 34 and still in your prime. When I got here I was in shock and depressed. I wanted to give up so many times, it's a surprise I'm here at all. I had to go on meds and could barely get out of bed. It was horrible. I even took knife blades from work, wanting to slit my wrists. Pleaseseek help you don't have to go through this alone.
StarlaStardust Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 A therapist helped me a lot. Also, put on some gym clothes and go for a run. Or to the gym. Move your body. Out in public. Like, RIGHT NOW. Do it. Go. It will help. Sending you love and positive thoughts.
Mr Scorpio Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 I know how you feel Gant. Hey, at least you went to a party which I assume you were invited to? You must therefore have a social circle? Is there someone in that social circle that you can talk to about how you are feeling? If not, if you're employed, it is time to take a look at therapy. Also, I've found that in addition to boards like this one, chatting in real time with folks can also be a great short-term comfort. If you google "coping chat room" you should be able to find your way to the room that I use.
CopingGal Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 (edited) It sucks but I'm a loser with no friends and no life and nothing going for me. Hi Gant, I'm going to get to you in a minute. Exit, are you a liar? You must be because this is simply not true. I know it's not true because I have first hand knowledge of this situation. You are NOT a loser. You come into these forums and you give knowledge and wisdom to other people and you do it gently and you try to help them. Losers don't do that. You have helped me in my emotionally recovery. There are some very, very nice people out there that do not have many friends at all. I am a friend to someone...I am his only friend and yet he is a wonderful person. It's only been 8 months Exit, that's not long. Healing takes time. And you, Gant? Stay out of alleys. Stop making out with women. Let yourself feel the pain. A broken heart can make a person feel like he or she is not going to make it...they that are going to die, or that they want to die because the pain is absolutely excruciating. My ex did everything imaginable short of stealing from me, raping me and killing me. He did almost every other bad thing to me with NO remorse. There were times that I thought I wasn't going to make it because I was overwhelmed with pain and it was too horrible. But I'm still here. I woke up this morning not even thinking about him. There's gonna come a day Gant when you feel much better, but you must hold on to get there. Prepare for a long time of intense pain, but you can do it. Edited July 1, 2012 by CopingGal
Follower Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 Im not going to try and convince you of why its worth while living or not grant, i had the same considerations as you not so long ago. The only thing that brought me back as it were was the realisation that a) i had hit rock bottom, the only way was up. and b) my experience can only serve me. 34 is not old, not by a long shot, your not even half way through your potential life yet. Some people don't find there real partners and friends until after they retire, the average age of retirement right now.. 58. so a long ways to go yet. On the other hand that's a long time to wait, but all good things come to those that.... Give us a shout on your decision though grant as we are a caring community and it worries us when someone doesn't reply to there own posts 1
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