Fighting depression/stress/fear when girlfriend is away on a trip

[LittleMonkey]

Hey,

 

So my girlfriend whom I've met not too long ago, but we have this amazing connection, went on a preplanned trip far away to another country for a month and a half. I was with her at the airport, and we talked about how we'll talk all the time whenever she can. That was 3 days ago, and already I feel down, I miss her terribly, I feel like I've got nothing going on and I'm stuck waiting for her to text me.. She told me to text her all the time, and I don't want to bug her too much so until now I'm texting her every once in a while (say once per day, i.e. hoping she has a wonderful day and that I miss her). So far we've only chatted a little bit when she had wifi over there.

 

Every time I text, on one side I feel afraid of annoying her, and on the other afraid that she'll think I'm not thinking about her. Every text that doesn't get replied to makes me wonder if I said anything wrong... Things feel so dull here, going to work, back home and repeat, all the while waiting for some life sign from her. and it's only the start.. I'm constantly afraid she'll forget me (although at the airport she asked me "you won't forget me, right?", I said "of course not, and you won't either?" she promised not to forget) There she is, traveling to this new and exciting place, how can I compete with that?

[Cathster]

It will get easier. You don't need to compete with her travels to this exciting place. She is only away temporarily and knows you will be there waiting for her when she gets back. After a while the time will start to fly past.

 

I would have thought that you don't need to worry about annoying her if you're not constantly demanding her attention, which it sounds like you're not. Texting her a couple times a day to say you hope she has a good day and you miss her and are thinking about her, telling her snippets of your day etc. sounds fine, and like you said will reassure her that you are thinking about her. And she told you to text her all the time - she wouldn't say that if she didn't mean it and she showed her own concerns about you forgetting her before you said anything.

 

I am in a very similar situation - my boyfriend and I had only been together just over a month when he left for a summer abroad. I was constantly checking my phone and like you, paranoid every time I didn't get a reply. I do still have those feelings occasionally but as time has gone on and I have spoken to him more and realised that he misses me and thinks about me too, no matter what he is doing or how much fun he is having, I feel a lot more secure about our relationship. I expect your girlfriend is probably very much the same.

 

Try and keep yourself busy. It won't make you miss her any less but it will make the time go faster and stop you waiting around for contact from her. Before you know it she will be home! I found that time really dragged to begin with, but after about 2 weeks it seemed to fly by.

[LittleMonkey]

It will get easier. You don't need to compete with her travels to this exciting place. She is only away temporarily and knows you will be there waiting for her when she gets back. After a while the time will start to fly past.

 

I would have thought that you don't need to worry about annoying her if you're not constantly demanding her attention, which it sounds like you're not. Texting her a couple times a day to say you hope she has a good day and you miss her and are thinking about her, telling her snippets of your day etc. sounds fine, and like you said will reassure her that you are thinking about her. And she told you to text her all the time - she wouldn't say that if she didn't mean it and she showed her own concerns about you forgetting her before you said anything.

 

I am in a very similar situation - my boyfriend and I had only been together just over a month when he left for a summer abroad. I was constantly checking my phone and like you, paranoid every time I didn't get a reply. I do still have those feelings occasionally but as time has gone on and I have spoken to him more and realised that he misses me and thinks about me too, no matter what he is doing or how much fun he is having, I feel a lot more secure about our relationship. I expect your girlfriend is probably very much the same.

 

Try and keep yourself busy. It won't make you miss her any less but it will make the time go faster and stop you waiting around for contact from her. Before you know it she will be home! I found that time really dragged to begin with, but after about 2 weeks it seemed to fly by.

 

Thanks, that helps I just feel like I'm always searching for some sort of constant validation from her, the longer time goes by from when she texts me last, the more anxious I get. Of course I try not to show it to her..

[skakitty]

I completely understand this. I was exactly the same as you, not wanting to bug my boyfriend but feeling lonely and stuck in a routine whilst he was away discovering new places and people.

 

The only thing I can say is it does get easier with time, and to plan nice things for yourself to keep you distracted (at least for a few hours) like seeing a friend, planning a night/day out doing something you really like, getting really involved in a hobby (mine is photography, so i plan a trip to go somewhere, get a friend involved, come up with themes, go to different locations, spend hours editing etc)

 

I would focus on yourself a lot for the meantime and you will feel lonely less often. The bonus is when you do talk, you will both have stories to relate of the cool things you've done

[LittleMonkey]

I completely understand this. I was exactly the same as you, not wanting to bug my boyfriend but feeling lonely and stuck in a routine whilst he was away discovering new places and people.

 

The only thing I can say is it does get easier with time, and to plan nice things for yourself to keep you distracted (at least for a few hours) like seeing a friend, planning a night/day out doing something you really like, getting really involved in a hobby (mine is photography, so i plan a trip to go somewhere, get a friend involved, come up with themes, go to different locations, spend hours editing etc)

 

I would focus on yourself a lot for the meantime and you will feel lonely less often. The bonus is when you do talk, you will both have stories to relate of the cool things you've done

 

The problem is the things I like doing feel kind of dull now, and I'd want to do them with her so it's also depressing. Drawing, playing the computer, watching some tv, all feel kind of empty. I really like drawing actually, and she loves my drawings, but that's the thing, it immediately reminds me of how much I miss her and I only feel like drawing her ever since I met her anyway..