jobaba Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 (edited) Ok. I've learned in a lot of ways over a short period of time that I'm not a very likeable person on here. I've also learned in that period of time more of what does constitute a more attractive personality/demeanor/constitution if you will... Now I say that I'm a nice guy in real life and people have always told me that, but maybe they're just being nice. Who knows? I've also learned that many of the character traits I have that I consider desirable maybe aren't so much so to women. I'm really upping the ante in life. I'm getting another degree, a better (hopefully) career, a better body, and hopefully I'll be a pro level musician within the next half decade. I would also like to work on my charisma. So ... for everybody who has ever felt like telling me off, this is your chance. I crave the chance to address constructive criticism. So ... LET ME HAVE IT! No back criticism or nasty retorts will be given. I am well aware that people don't often like to be criticized. But I'm asking for it. It's an anonymous forum so I think it's a good opportunity to address my real life flaws without consequence and I probably won't be around too much after this thread. So ... LET ME HAVE IT! (Obviously, I will screen criticism accordingly) Edited July 1, 2012 by jobaba
Oxy Moronovich Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 No one wants to tell you off, dude. Yer the most likable guy on this forum. 1
Author jobaba Posted July 1, 2012 Author Posted July 1, 2012 (edited) No one wants to tell you off, dude. Yer the most likable guy on this forum. Uh ... no I'm not. And this being an anonymous forum, whatever people think of me won't affect my real life gains. So, fire away. I mean geared more towards attracting women 'criticism' but in terms of general people skills too.... Edited July 1, 2012 by jobaba
verhrzn Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 I don't think you're necessarily un-likeable. I think, as is fairly typical, you just get single-minded about common guy problems in dating, and it might somewhat hinder your ability to empathize with women who are in your similar boat. That would be my only slight criticism. Otherwise, I can't recall you having unrealistic expectations or being some bizarre troll. In terms of self-improvement suggestions, it might help if you provided a picture and some background? For example, how old are you, what are some qualities you're referring to when you say 'I find them desirable but women don't'? 1
todreaminblue Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 Ok. I've learned in a lot of ways over a short period of time that I'm not a very likeable person on here. I've also learned in that period of time more of what does constitute a more attractive personality/demeanor/constitution if you will... Now I say that I'm a nice guy in real life and people have always told me that, but maybe they're just being nice. Who knows? I've also learned that many of the character traits I have that I consider desirable maybe aren't so much so to women. I'm really upping the ante in life. I'm getting another degree, a better (hopefully) career, a better body, and hopefully I'll be a pro level musician within the next half decade. I would also like to work on my charisma. So ... for everybody who has ever felt like telling me off, this is your chance. I crave the chance to address constructive criticism. So ... LET ME HAVE IT! No back criticism or nasty retorts will be given. I am well aware that people don't often like to be criticized. But I'm asking for it. It's an anonymous forum so I think it's a good opportunity to address my real life flaws without consequence and I probably won't be around too much after this thread. So ... LET ME HAVE IT! (Obviously, I will screen criticism accordingly) I may have read some of your comments I may not have......is there a tally somewhere where you are unlikeable or an unlikeable button somewhere i can press...... i didnt think so .....so nah dont unlike you......who are you again and what was the question.... forgive me i have short term memory loss.....have a great day.....deb 1
USMCHokie Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 Unfortunately, I don't know you well enough to constructively critique... 1
DjinnAgain Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 I did not have much luck trying to go directly to your posts to read and I'm not here consistently enough to know.. So this is a general thing I see with a lot of guys here that may or may not include you. Don't look at women as some strange animal with uniform wants, expectations, etc. It comes off as distasteful because we are people and want to be appreciated or disliked for our individual brains and traits, not just because we happen to be female, or how other women have treated you. Some of this can be subtle, women do this, or like that... It's not always women want to crush your soul, but it still comes off as some underlying misogyny. (And as someone who engages in relationships with traditional gender roles, I know misogyny vs traditionalism.) There is not a way women are, or a way you should enage WOMEN beyond how you generally should engage human beings. We are individuals. Also, don't choose who you want to be based on some thought of what some supposed other person will want. Pursue yourself and let the women who will come to that. 2
Emilia Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 I think in your posts you come across as passive aggressive sometimes due to the frustrations you experience in your dating life. Yes it's frustrating when someone we like doesn't like us back BUT you also have a lot of influence over whom you choose to like in the first place and what sort of relationship you are looking for. Perhaps it would work for you if you looked into your won nuances more to understand what you want to help you to be true to yourself. Rather than try to project a 'no opinion, no shallowness' thought process - with this you are only denying who you are. I went out with a man once who denied he had shallow and opinionated views and what I saw was a man who wasn't honest to himself and who didn't undestand himself. 1
Emilia Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 I did not have much luck trying to go directly to your posts to read and I'm not here consistently enough to know.. So this is a general thing I see with a lot of guys here that may or may not include you. Don't look at women as some strange animal with uniform wants, expectations, etc. It comes off as distasteful because we are people and want to be appreciated or disliked for our individual brains and traits, not just because we happen to be female, or how other women have treated you. Some of this can be subtle, women do this, or like that... It's not always women want to crush your soul, but it still comes off as some underlying misogyny. (And as someone who engages in relationships with traditional gender roles, I know misogyny vs traditionalism.) There is not a way women are, or a way you should enage WOMEN beyond how you generally should engage human beings. We are individuals. Also, don't choose who you want to be based on some thought of what some supposed other person will want. Pursue yourself and let the women who will come to that. this is a very good post in my opinion, hope it helps 1
Els Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 Honestly, I think that you come across to me as an all-around decent guy the majority of the time. You do have your down times when you sound very bitter and disillusioned, but I think that's fairly normal if things aren't going well for you, and I'm sure we've all been there and done that. My major suggestion would be to not internalize your current singlehood and make the most of it instead of being frustrated and unhappy. 1
El Brujo Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 "Constructive criticism"? Isn't that an oxymoron... like "military intelligence", "compassionate conservatism", "rock music", and "drinking responsibly"? :lmao: 1
runner Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 i have quite a few regulars on here that are on my block list; completely unlikable trash-talkers that i could do without. for what it's worth, OP is not on that list. /cheers 1
Recommended Posts