thomasb Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 My wife and I took our boat out today here in Montana at a reservoir to fish and play with some friends. They are staying there but due to a sick grandchild we only went for a few hours. We wouldnt have gone at all, but had promised friends to fish and ski, wakeboard etc. with our boat. Anyway. On the way up there, we saw the most amazing thing. A wolverine in the wild! It is an endangered species now due to the hunting and trapping for its fur. I am a hunter. I take animals as food for my family. Grew up this way. And I think I have a hell of a lot over some preppy guy in New York who doesn't know a damn thing about hunting, fishing and trapping to feed and clothe their family if you needed to. But, I never would kill an animal for its' fur. Disgusting to me. If you don't eat it... you don't kill it. Simple. But I was brought to my knees today by one small woman's tears when she said she has felt like one for years. With her fight within the corporate world, (yes we have corporations here!) to her cancer, our sons death, moving for my career as an engineer, she has always felt like one. I agree. She is the strongest, most beautiful woman I have ever known in my life. I wish daily I could go back and change our past. The only time I ever hurt hurt her was probably the second worst of her life next to our sons' death. If you have a spouse that cheated, and they truly are trying to make you feel they are remorseful and sorry, I plead with you to give them a chance. But only if they are proving themselves honest. If they can't do that,,, cut them loose. You deserve better. Trust me. It is really nice to be able to say you can now... trust me that is! 3
SidLyon Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 Hi Thomas, Thanks for this. I feel it is missing something. What is the "one thing" that your wife has felt like for years? Do you mean a wolverine or an endangered species or a hunter. Sorry I think you must have missed a word or two out. Anyway I'm not even from the same country as you so I'm not sure about the significance of comparing yourself to someone from New York. Nor is a hunting mentality common here so I don't understand it myself. Also if animals are being hunted or trapped to "clothe" a family doesn't this mean using their fur, or is some other part of them used? Good luck to you and your wife, it helps to hear success stories.
Snowflower Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 Hey Thomas, you are one of my favorite posters here. Why oh why didn't you post this on the Infidelity forum? Or did you mis-post it? I'm kind of confused though...what did you mean about a woman feeling like that for years? Feel like what? I totally understand the lifestyle you describe. My husband and I live it. Thank you for the inspiring post about second chances.
BetrayedH Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 I suspect he means that his wife felt isolated like that lone wolverine. I'm glad you were able to reconcile. Jealous, to be honest. Congratulations. I hope you earn it every day.
whichwayisup Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. That's real tough and nobody should have to go through that. All the best to you and your wife, glad things are wonderful.
scatterd Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 {Anyway I'm not even from the same country as you so I'm not sure about the significance of comparing yourself to someone from New York. Nor is a hunting mentality common here so I don't understand it myself.} I think he means a city person from new york and country man from Montana. Montana is a beautiful place and awonderful place for hunting,fishing,and such it has an abundunce of wild life.
Got it Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 thomas - Why exactly is this in OW/OM? Did you mean to post in Marriage instead? Sorry to hear about your sick grandchild. I am sorry she isn't trusting you. Coming back from a betrayal is very hard and can be a dealbreaker no matter how much either party doesn't want it to. I know why I had my affair, and I know that it was because I was done with my marriage. Why did you have yours if you still loved your wife? Why did you risk it? All you can do is keep on working on you to be the best person you can be and figuring out why you have chosen some of the paths you have. 1
SomedayDig Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 thomas - Why exactly is this in OW/OM? Did you mean to post in Marriage instead? Sorry to hear about your sick grandchild. I am sorry she isn't trusting you. Coming back from a betrayal is very hard and can be a dealbreaker no matter how much either party doesn't want it to. I know why I had my affair, and I know that it was because I was done with my marriage. Why did you have yours if you still loved your wife? Why did you risk it? All you can do is keep on working on you to be the best person you can be and figuring out why you have chosen some of the paths you have. He's posting it here because he was a WS. And his story is a good one to hear/read about IMO.
Got it Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 He's posting it here because he was a WS. And his story is a good one to hear/read about IMO. It is up to the moderators but I don't agree this is the appropriate place to put this. This forum is described as: The other side. Support and discussion for those who find themselves involved with a committed partner. Thomas post has nothing to do with the above. 2
Silly_Girl Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 It's in the wrong board but never mind, it happens from time to time.
Permenthri Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 My wife and I took our boat out today here in Montana at a reservoir to fish and play with some friends. They are staying there but due to a sick grandchild we only went for a few hours. We wouldnt have gone at all, but had promised friends to fish and ski, wakeboard etc. with our boat. Anyway. On the way up there, we saw the most amazing thing. A wolverine in the wild! It is an endangered species now due to the hunting and trapping for its fur. I am a hunter. I take animals as food for my family. Grew up this way. And I think I have a hell of a lot over some preppy guy in New York who doesn't know a damn thing about hunting, fishing and trapping to feed and clothe their family if you needed to. But, I never would kill an animal for its' fur. Disgusting to me. If you don't eat it... you don't kill it. Simple. But I was brought to my knees today by one small woman's tears when she said she has felt like one for years. With her fight within the corporate world, (yes we have corporations here!) to her cancer, our sons death, moving for my career as an engineer, she has always felt like one. I agree. She is the strongest, most beautiful woman I have ever known in my life. I wish daily I could go back and change our past. The only time I ever hurt hurt her was probably the second worst of her life next to our sons' death. If you have a spouse that cheated, and they truly are trying to make you feel they are remorseful and sorry, I plead with you to give them a chance. But only if they are proving themselves honest. If they can't do that,,, cut them loose. You deserve better. Trust me. It is really nice to be able to say you can now... trust me that is! Wolverine is also my favourite XMan. But hunting is disgusting! Ewww! I would never date a killer.
Spark1111 Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 thomas, I am always deeply touched by your humility and gratitude for your wife's gift of reconciliation with you, YEARS after the fact. I think she must be the most amazing woman to have weathered all those storms with you and I agree that she is a true wolverine: An endangered species and a survivor! I know that feeling. I hope you continue to hold gratitude in your heart for not only all your blessings, but also all the wisdom you have gained. Not all men introspect and take accountability for their actions to the degree I have seen you do regarding your infidelity. Do you ever wonder what your life would be like had she not been able to forgive you for your affair? Because many do not, or at a later date, discover they cannot. I hope you both continue to grow and thrive together. 1
GLDheart Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 I also see how your wife can associate with being "endangered" and "alone in the wild"... I'm so sorry to hear about that long and difficult road. But, I am greatful to hear of the peace and understanding you two have achieved.
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