Teknoe Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 I've heard some of my female friends telling me this in the past. When I asked them why I was still single I always got the two same replies from various lady friends: 1. Your priorities are out of whack and you don't have your career in order. Few girls would want to have a serious relationship with someone who is not working, or working part time but taking their sweet time 2. You're probably too nice, but make NO mistake about it, taking care of #1 will make #2 less of a detriment. Being financially stable is half the battle, my female friends always tells me! (because girls they say are looking for marriage potential in their mid-late 20s, and they expect a guy to be along a certain path in his life where he will be able to provide and help her raise a family. $ talks, bottom line) Well, I'm proud to say, after four years of crippling fear, I have finally sorted out #1 and have officially joined the "work force." I now work full time as opposed to part time, after 4 complacent, play-it-safe years. #2 I will take care of in my own way and timing. But for more on #1 check out the thread I made here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/mind-body-soul/self-improvement-personal-well-being/333110-just-landed-my-first-full-time-job I have already seen the difference in my own confidence and how people are now viewing me since I got my FIRST REAL full time job. My stock literally shot up 100 points. And I have this sneaky feeling there's someone out there, maybe even a (large) handful, who may benefit from viewing this thread. Some people are ready to date and just haven't met the right one yet, while others are SO NOT ready to date YET, but instead of focusing on things they can improve on (i.e. securing that full time job), they continue down the "Gotta-Get-A-Girlfriend-NOW" road, which constantly leads to rejection, dejection, lack of success and quickly becomes a repeating pattern of doom. I'm not saying a full time job will magically cure everything, but it will enter you into another stage of adulthood and you will grow from its everyday experience, and that certainly can't hurt your GF chances. It's just sad though to see so many guys in general refusing to work on upping their stock and acting as though they are entitled to having a girlfriend -- even in their present less-than-attractive position in life. 1
ThaWholigan Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Meh, I haven't actively tried to date for a while. Full-time job is great, well done man! I'm going self-employed, I like to be my own boss . We'll see how that works out. 1
Author Teknoe Posted June 30, 2012 Author Posted June 30, 2012 Thanks guys, I'm so thrilled to be a productive member of society now, haha. Family and friends have been so happy for me. I think they are now beginning to take me "seriously" too, haha. I didn't make these rules, it's just the way of our world. One of my girl friends is so happy. She's married and she told me this yesterday "Teknoe, you really are a great guy. It's always been the career thing though that has held you down. Now that you're in, excel at it. And eventually, some lady is going to be very lucky to be loved by you. Trust me, I can't wait to see where you are in a year or two from now. You will make a GREAT catch for some lucky girl." Her comment almost made me cry, lol. All my life I've been tagged with the "potential" label. People see Teknoe and they say "AH TEK! There goes a guy with a ton of potential...." but I never worked hard enough to achieve it. Now I'm finally realizing, there's nothing like putting in a hard day's work, contributing to the world and making a difference with my life. The GF thing will happen when it happens. Right now, I want to cement my career and help change lives. For a change, it's not ALL about me anymore. I'm leaving my childhood behind me, and finally marching into adulthood 1
manup Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 I've heard some of my female friends telling me this in the past. When I asked them why I was still single I always got the two same replies from various lady friends: 1. Your priorities are out of whack and you don't have your career in order. Few girls would want to have a serious relationship with someone who is not working, or working part time but taking their sweet time 2. You're probably too nice, but make NO mistake about it, taking care of #1 will make #2 less of a detriment. Being financially stable is half the battle, my female friends always tells me! (because girls they say are looking for marriage potential in their mid-late 20s, and they expect a guy to be along a certain path in his life where he will be able to provide and help her raise a family. $ talks, bottom line) Well, I'm proud to say, after four years of crippling fear, I have finally sorted out #1 and have officially joined the "work force." I now work full time as opposed to part time, after 4 complacent, play-it-safe years. #2 I will take care of in my own way and timing. But for more on #1 check out the thread I made here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/mind-body-soul/self-improvement-personal-well-being/333110-just-landed-my-first-full-time-job I have already seen the difference in my own confidence and how people are now viewing me since I got my FIRST REAL full time job. My stock literally shot up 100 points. And I have this sneaky feeling there's someone out there, maybe even a (large) handful, who may benefit from viewing this thread. Some people are ready to date and just haven't met the right one yet, while others are SO NOT ready to date YET, but instead of focusing on things they can improve on (i.e. securing that full time job), they continue down the "Gotta-Get-A-Girlfriend-NOW" road, which constantly leads to rejection, dejection, lack of success and quickly becomes a repeating pattern of doom. I'm not saying a full time job will magically cure everything, but it will enter you into another stage of adulthood and you will grow from its everyday experience, and that certainly can't hurt your GF chances. It's just sad though to see so many guys in general refusing to work on upping their stock and acting as though they are entitled to having a girlfriend -- even in their present less-than-attractive position in life. never ask a woman for advice about women, why would a work my ass off for a slut with ridiculous expectations learn some game brother
Author Teknoe Posted June 30, 2012 Author Posted June 30, 2012 my best friend works a part time job and barely survives paycheck to paycheck. He's been with a million girls Truth be told, he dates girls in their early 20s. I imagine it's much harder to date girls around 25-35 without being somewhat set in your life Naturally, there will be plenty of stories like this. But is it stable in the long run? Absolutely not. Eventually, if he doesn't change, age and circumstances will catch up with him. It's only a matter of time. So while he may be having his fun now, it won't last forever. never ask a woman for advice about women, why would a work my ass off for a slut with ridiculous expectations learn some game brother I dunno, maybe, to contribute to the world? Make this place a better place? There's nothing quite like getting up early everyday, making an honest day's pay, and doing your part to contribute to the community. Of course, I know not every guy will see it this way, but IMO the type of view in your quote is simply not a long term stable proposition. Eventually, "game" with no full time job turns into brokenness and regret. Short term pleasures are fleeting; long term stability and success will place anybody in a much more firm position, girlfriend or not. It's important to have a strong (financial) foundation. 1
Algermas Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 You should work on your career for a few years, then you won't have to date women your own age.
Algermas Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 never ask a woman for advice about women, why would a work my ass off for a slut with ridiculous expectations learn some game brother Also this, lol @ the idea of getting a career sorted so you meet the standards of some dried up almost 30 year old.
samsungxoxo Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Well girls will still date a man that has no path in life as long their ages ranges from 18-22 and/or she's inexperience (naivee). But if it's either a young girl with a lot of experience, an older 25+ years-old who is working towards getting a master's degree or she already knows what to look for... then yes it's best to assume it's going to be hard for a man with no goals in life to convince her. I'll put my ex bf as an example: man that likes going to clubs every weekend, can't form smart conversations other than talk about the last time he went clubbing, his ex gfs and how awful were his break-ups, unpuntual, is cheap, breaks promises, still works in Publix supermarket and doesn't care about studying, and basically acts like a 15-18 year-old high school. He only got me when I was a 19 year-old virgin that knew nothing about relationships. Now he's not even worth as a friend. His conversations are really pathetic.
Algermas Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Well girls will still date a man that has no path in life as long their ages ranges from 18-22 and/or she's inexperience (naivee). But if it's either a young girl with a lot of experience, an older 25+ years-old who is working towards getting a master's degree or she already knows what to look for... then yes it's best to assume it's going to be hard for a man with no goals in life to convince her. I'll put my ex bf as an example: man that likes going to clubs every weekend, can't form smart conversations other than talk about the last time he went clubbing, his ex gfs and how awful were his break-ups, unpuntual, is cheap, breaks promises, still works in Publix supermarket and doesn't care about studying, and basically acts like a 15-18 year-old high school. He only got me when I was a 19 year-old virgin that knew nothing about relationships. Now he's not even worth as a friend. His conversations are really pathetic. Aka he got you at your physical prime.
xpaperxcutx Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Having a job shows financial independence and stability. The only thing that makes you a manchild is having to convince others otherwise. Last guy I date always said ' I'm a man! I have a job!" Yeah right.
samsungxoxo Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Aka he got you at your physical prime.Yes but his mistake was when I got older as well as his lack of ambition/common sense (ex:speaking to my parents about an ex gf). One time he mentioned that I was really the only college girl he ever dated. Come to think of it, I understand why men usually have it harder. They are practically telemarketers while we're the clients. Once a client is interested and doesn't hang up, don't let them go. If the client gets smarter, the telemarketer will have to get smarter too.
manup Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Naturally, there will be plenty of stories like this. But is it stable in the long run? Absolutely not. Eventually, if he doesn't change, age and circumstances will catch up with him. It's only a matter of time. So while he may be having his fun now, it won't last forever. I dunno, maybe, to contribute to the world? Make this place a better place? There's nothing quite like getting up early everyday, making an honest day's pay, and doing your part to contribute to the community. Of course, I know not every guy will see it this way, but IMO the type of view in your quote is simply not a long term stable proposition. Eventually, "game" with no full time job turns into brokenness and regret. Short term pleasures are fleeting; long term stability and success will place anybody in a much more firm position, girlfriend or not. It's important to have a strong (financial) foundation. Get a full time job for yourself not for a woman. Self discovery is much more important than acquiring a bunch of **** you don't need. You're just a follower like everyone else, get a job, find a woman have some kids rinse and repeat. You life is uninspiring and contrived.
Algermas Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Yes but his mistake was when I got older as well as his lack of ambition/common sense (ex:speaking to my parents about an ex gf). One time he mentioned that I was really the only college girl he ever dated. Come to think of it, I understand why men usually have it harder. They are practically telemarketers while we're the clients. Once a client is interested and doesn't hang up, don't let them go. If the client gets smarter, the telemarketer will have to get smarter too. That's not how telemarketing works, you just keep dailing until you find someone dumb enough to bite. It's amazing to me how women will go on about how they want x, y and z from men and in the same breath admit that when they were at their hottest they went after the exact opposite.
manup Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Yes but his mistake was when I got older as well as his lack of ambition/common sense (ex:speaking to my parents about an ex gf). One time he mentioned that I was really the only college girl he ever dated. Come to think of it, I understand why men usually have it harder. They are practically telemarketers while we're the clients. Once a client is interested and doesn't hang up, don't let them go. If the client gets smarter, the telemarketer will have to get smarter too. Except this guy is still probably getting with girls in their physical prime, while you've likely grown less attractive. Sounds good to me.
Author Teknoe Posted June 30, 2012 Author Posted June 30, 2012 Get a full time job for yourself not for a woman. Self discovery is much more important than acquiring a bunch of **** you don't need. You're just a follower like everyone else, get a job, find a woman have some kids rinse and repeat. You life is uninspiring and contrived. LOL at you acting like you know me or my life or why I started working full time. The reason why I posted here was to encourage other guys in similar shoes. And hey, this is one of the perks of working full time. Did I want the full time job to up my stock? Yes, but that wasn't the #1 reason so much as I want to finally live out my dream career. And to be good at it. The rest is all perks. But of course, it's real easy to act like a tough anonymous guy on the internet, lol.
samsungxoxo Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Except this guy is still probably getting with girls in their physical prime, while you've likely grown less attractive. Sounds good to me.Actually wouldn't our prime be in our early 30's? Come to think of it, I don't wouldn't want to go back to my younger version. I like the older me better than the younger me.
Algermas Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Actually wouldn't our prime be in our early 30's? Come to think of it, I don't want to go back to my younger version. What you yourself consider your prime isn't the same as your peak physical attractiveness to men. Unless you were enormously overweight or had severe skin problems I can almost guarantee you looked better at 19 than you did ( or will ) at 29.
samsungxoxo Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 What you yourself consider your prime isn't the same as your peak physical attractiveness to men. Unless you were enormously overweight or had severe skin problems I can almost guarantee you looked better at 19 than you did ( or will ) at 29.I'm 25 now. Definitely not overweight nor with acne but I'm not a stick figure either.
manup Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 LOL at you acting like you know me or my life or why I started working full time. The reason why I posted here was to encourage other guys in similar shoes. And hey, this is one of the perks of working full time. Did I want the full time job to up my stock? Yes, but that wasn't the #1 reason so much as I want to finally live out my dream career. And to be good at it. The rest is all perks. But of course, it's real easy to act like a tough anonymous guy on the internet, lol. The premise of your thread is just silly, get a job and the oh so coveted women will start liking you.
MrCastle Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 Having a job will no doubt aid you in your success with women, and it does help you build overall confidence, but as mentioned earlier, that will get you nowhere without game. If you don't know how to handle women, no job or any other element will fill that void. You're either good with women or you're not.
Author Teknoe Posted July 1, 2012 Author Posted July 1, 2012 The premise of your thread is just silly, get a job and the oh so coveted women will start liking you. Maybe I could have rephrased certain statements. It's not to be interpreted as "once you get a full time job women will like you." There's no guarantee, just like if we were to advise a loner that if he made friends he'll suddenly get a GF. However, in both instances it certainly can't hurt. That's all I'm saying, and that maybe for some folks their priorities could use some re-examination. MrCastle I don't disagree with any of your points. Again, getting a full time job doesn't guarantee anyone a girlfriend or boyfriend, but at least, while you are employed, you are guaranteed financial stability and that's more "attractive point" to your count. That's all I'm saying.
jobaba Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 I've heard some of my female friends telling me this in the past. When I asked them why I was still single I always got the two same replies from various lady friends: 1. Your priorities are out of whack and you don't have your career in order. Few girls would want to have a serious relationship with someone who is not working, or working part time but taking their sweet time 2. You're probably too nice, but make NO mistake about it, taking care of #1 will make #2 less of a detriment. Being financially stable is half the battle, my female friends always tells me! (because girls they say are looking for marriage potential in their mid-late 20s, and they expect a guy to be along a certain path in his life where he will be able to provide and help her raise a family. $ talks, bottom line) Well, I'm proud to say, after four years of crippling fear, I have finally sorted out #1 and have officially joined the "work force." I now work full time as opposed to part time, after 4 complacent, play-it-safe years. #2 I will take care of in my own way and timing. But for more on #1 check out the thread I made here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/mind-body-soul/self-improvement-personal-well-being/333110-just-landed-my-first-full-time-job I have already seen the difference in my own confidence and how people are now viewing me since I got my FIRST REAL full time job. My stock literally shot up 100 points. And I have this sneaky feeling there's someone out there, maybe even a (large) handful, who may benefit from viewing this thread. Some people are ready to date and just haven't met the right one yet, while others are SO NOT ready to date YET, but instead of focusing on things they can improve on (i.e. securing that full time job), they continue down the "Gotta-Get-A-Girlfriend-NOW" road, which constantly leads to rejection, dejection, lack of success and quickly becomes a repeating pattern of doom. I'm not saying a full time job will magically cure everything, but it will enter you into another stage of adulthood and you will grow from its everyday experience, and that certainly can't hurt your GF chances. It's just sad though to see so many guys in general refusing to work on upping their stock and acting as though they are entitled to having a girlfriend -- even in their present less-than-attractive position in life. Lol. In another 5 years when youve worked every day you might not feel so enthused about getting out of bed and going to work. I know people from ivy law and MDs who hate their jobs. Gainfully employed is good. I suggest you look down the road and discover if its a challenging career for you that will provide you with the income level you desire. Congrats though!
Author Teknoe Posted July 1, 2012 Author Posted July 1, 2012 edit: MrCastle I don't disagree with any of your points. Again, getting a full time job doesn't guarantee anyone a girlfriend or boyfriend, but at least, while you are employed, you are guaranteed financial stability and that's one more "attractive point" to your count. That's all I'm saying. The better off you are in all aspects of life, the better a suitor you become. Essentially, becoming the best you that you can be. But of course, you are doing it for the satisfaction of accomplishment alone, self-actualization, whatever you want to call it, not doing it per se to get a GF; it just happens that that is one of the perks of when someone ups their game in all aspects.
Author Teknoe Posted July 1, 2012 Author Posted July 1, 2012 Lol. In another 5 years when youve worked every day you might not feel so enthused about getting out of bed and going to work. I know people from ivy law and MDs who hate their jobs. Gainfully employed is good. I suggest you look down the road and discover if its a challenging career for you that will provide you with the income level you desire. Congrats though! LOL, very true. Right now I'm bringing enthusiasm and high hopes into the game because the game is "fresh" and "new" to me still, even at my late 20s age. We'll see in a year or two, but yes, right now I'm savoring this moment. It's a landmark moment in my life. The thrill of acing THREE intereviews (a combined total of 3 hours) and successfully delivering a demo session under pressure with no net and no double takes... HUGE boost to my overall confidence. This past week I took a huge step toward becoming a better, healthier me.
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