Author rose45 Posted June 30, 2012 Author Posted June 30, 2012 this may sound stupid but should I change my main picture on my dating profile which he will see? or is that too passive aggressive to do that after suddenly not hearing from him--like i am acting out or something? Or will it show I'm not an idiot and can notice the change in pace compared to last week and won't wait around either....?
Quest4_TheLost Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 No I'm saying the OP is allowing herself to be an option to a guy who she's already branded as the one. Its naive. If she doesn't want to be an option she should be seeing other people instead of allowing her world to revolve around him texting her. I still disagree with her sitting back and waiting for him to come around. Based on the ops personality she seems like the type to cling on to others. Instead she needs to meet other ppl rather than play a passibe role. Yes but after 2 dates I wouldn't really expect much more then being in an option situation. Thats why I suggested on several notes of her seeing other ppl. I don't think she should sit back and wait on him either. But since she only dates one person at the time its either cut your losses and move on or play the waiting game. I don't play the waiting game myself and of course this is all up to you rose. I really don't think you should wait on this guy or put anymore thought into him though.
Author rose45 Posted June 30, 2012 Author Posted June 30, 2012 QUESTION: this may sound stupid but should I change my main picture on my dating profile which he will see? or is that too passive aggressive to do that after suddenly not hearing from him--like i am acting out or something? Or will it show I'm not an idiot and can notice the change in pace compared to last week and won't wait around either....?
ScienceGal Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 QUESTION: this may sound stupid but should I change my main picture on my dating profile which he will see? or is that too passive aggressive to do that after suddenly not hearing from him--like i am acting out or something? Or will it show I'm not an idiot and can notice the change in pace compared to last week and won't wait around either....? If you changed your picture and he noticed and decided to contact you, what would that mean? If you're using it as a means to reel him back in, it won't work. You shouldn't have to be playing games. It's only been 2 dates... Just start talking with and dating other guys.
veggirl Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 Rose no don't change your pic for a reaction. That seems silly and yes too passive aggressive.
It's Just Me Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 (edited) OMG... Rose, just do what you would normally do if this guy was NOT in your life. Continue on. You owe him nothing. He owes you nothing. DO NOT have him occupy any space in your head, whatsoever. If he wanted to see you again, he would have made it very clear. Move on. Oh, and do not respond immediately to any texts - you are not waiting on him. Edited July 1, 2012 by It's Just Me
Shosh Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 (edited) Hi Rose, I am so sorry this is happening to you. Been there myself many times. No idea why he is not contacting you, but since you have already called or texted, I would really recommend you not contact him anymore but try to distract yourself any way you can so you don't go crazy. (My method is to try and spend every evening out with a friend so I can't sit at home, stalk him online and wonder why he is not calling.) Since you see he is online that means he is unfortunately choosing not to reply to you, and not being unable to access the Internet or sending a text. Until he gives you a better explanation this is your answer right there --- he is not that interested. I know, it sucks! Especially since you had such a good time on your dates. Don't change your profile pic in order to get his attention. Even if he would then write to you, he would be doing it for the wrong reason. I just re-read your thread. Is it correct, that you last heard from him today at noon? If so, there is no need to panic yet. Give it a day or two, or if you can't wait and want clarity, ask him out yourself. He might not reply, he might turn you down, but at least than you know for sure. Good luck with everything! Edited July 1, 2012 by Shosh
TheFinalWord Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 I started talking to someone online around mid June. We had a busy week so we got to know each other initially through texting and phone calls which was constant each day. We got along really well. I did notice he still went on the site which is perfectly normal I realize. We are both in our late 20's. Yes, this is always something people get concerned about. The thing is a lot of people multi-date when using on-line. I understand why it concerned you. Just assume most on-line daters are talking to 5 or so other people as well as you. Very few only date/talk to one person at a time with on-line dating. We met in person last friday night and things seemed to go well. We kissed a few times even. Saturday(the next day) he even texts me how he might be in my area to pick up something for his car and asked to get a coffee. I agreed since we aren't 10 minutes from each other. The drink turned into an evening out because he mentioned how his friend wants to go out tonight and I am more than welcome to come along. I thought why not actually; I could learn more about him, meet his friends, see where he lives etc. It was a good night out. We both seemed to have a good time. I met his roommate who seemed to know about me already. I would not advise meeting his friends on the second date. The reason is you want his undivided attention. I would look for three things when you're dating someone to see if there is relationship potential: 1) is he spiritually compatible with you 2) Do you guys have similar life compatibility 3) is he mentally healthy. The first one is important. If you're not religious, it could also be political affiliation, life philosophy, whatever you want to call it. The second one is you want to figure out if he is going in a similar direction as you. Finally you want to find out if he's mentally healthy. You can find these things out in 2 or 3 dates max. By hanging out with his friends and being in an alcoholic environment you are decreasing your ability to find out these things. As such you will need more dates. With each additional date you increase the chance for developing feelings. In short, you want his undivided attention for the first 3 dates. Get in environments in which you can talk. Then if he isn't lining up, go on to the next. Avoid dates that prolong the process of finding out those three things, i.e. drinking dates, going to movies, going out with his friends. Just my 2 cents!
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