Gridlock23 Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Ok, just a warning: this post might be a little long Me and my ex were together for a little over a year. She had previously been in a relationship with a person who treated her good, but at the end of the relationship dabbled into drugs, cheated on her, and left her telling her that he had "no feelings for her anymore". We had an intense relationship, and we were very happy. We argued very little if at all, and had a healthy relationship. About a month or two ago she started talking with her ex again. While we were still in a relationship she started meeting with him, but to my knowledge never did anything physical (but to me, that is still cheating). I found out and almost broke-up with her because of it, but she exclaimed to me that she would never talk to him again, and begged me not to leave her. We spent the entire day together and everything seemed fine. The next day she was telling me that she just spent that day with me because she felt sorry for me. I begged her to stop and come to her senses, but nothing I did changed anything. A week or two later I got really drunk and high with a bunch of my friends and I attempted suicide. NO i'm not suicidal, and PLEASE do not post telling me about suicide hotlines and that I should get help. The way she got over me like I was a mistake and wanted nothing to do with me anymore CRUSHED me. She just didn't care about me anymore for no good reason, and I hit rock bottom. How do I cope with this? How do I continue my day-to-day knowing that the person I cared about so much couldn't care less about me, and probably thinks i'm crazy now? I'm disgusted when I think of what she must be telling people about me and our relationship. I feel like I've done nothing wrong, but despite that, my relationship with her ended in the worst possible way imaginable. Its only been about a month or two since this all started happening, but I feel like I shouldn't still be thinking about her like this, especially since shes with her ex now. Am I wrong to still be reeling like this?
esteem-jam Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 If I heard about someones suicide attempt - I would think he/she needed some sympathy and understanding, and I would think what caused such behaviour. Going around and telling that person`s crazy and roll eyes, thats wrong I think. And if you ever contact her, well, it is a tough situation for her and she would need to be some wise Konfucious woman to come with a proper reply. (which doesnt insult you but does you good) If she says: you are sick, you should seek a doctor - some people would perceive it as insulting; I know I would. If she says: I cant do this, dont contact me, bla bla - you will spiral and ask and ask again why is she so cruel, cause boy, she knows about your s-atmpt., she must totally have stone heart. And if she gives in, says lets get back together - you will doubt it, because you will think she does this only out of sympathy and as a chore. So what is right and what is wrong? I think you should let the waters calm down and live your life, showing role model example with what you do. No words will solve this, and similar cases. 1
Author Gridlock23 Posted July 2, 2012 Author Posted July 2, 2012 Sorry, I haven't been on in a couple days :/ I see what your perspective when saying she has no reply that fits... Such a big part of me wants to just grasp or latch onto anything to fill the void that was left in her wake. I just want to feel whole again, like I did before the breakup. I guess I've almost forgotten what it feels like to ride solo.. We were best friends, aside from being lovers, and we did everything together. INCLUDING everything I used to do before I met her to occupy myself. Now when I try to go back to my old habits and return to normal I can't help but be reminded of her, and the things that used to make me happy just don't feel the same. I'm not even sure if I can call myself "me" anymore because I can't remember what "I" am.. Is this normal to feel this way? I feel like I'm trying to re-define myself
Recommended Posts