karielg Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 One day when I was taking photos with my boyfriend's phone, a message popped up and I recognized the name of this girl that he claimed was his schoolmate, I didn't tell him that I knew she was his ex since long time ago. And I've been seeing this girl's name on the top 5 recent conversation in his whatsapp. So I asked him could I see those messages and he accepted. So I clicked inside and found out that he had deleted all the conversation with this girl, I also looked through other messages, none of them had been deleted. I asked why did he delete his message and he claimed that he didn't talk with this girl for ages, I knew this was a lie as I always see this girl's name, but I didn't ask further, I assumed he will make another lie to cover this one, and I really don't want to hear anymore lies from him. Should I be worried about this girl? Should I forget about this or should I confront him that I know he was lying back then? I can't stop thinking about our conversation about this and started to think is it my fault for not trusting him? After all I didn't see any other message that was abnormal.
YellowShark Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 A person with nothing to hide... Hides nothing. 2
Art_Critic Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Deleting messages is not a showing of guilt, he let you go thru his messages without a problem. A person can't control what other people might say in a message that gets sent to them. Although, if he has a history with this girl then maybe the messages were something that he didn't want anybody to see.. The coverup lie is bothersome.. he either is hiding the severity of the messages or just wants the questioning to go away.
Author karielg Posted June 30, 2012 Author Posted June 30, 2012 Deleting messages is not a showing of guilt, he let you go thru his messages without a problem. A person can't control what other people might say in a message that gets sent to them. Although, if he has a history with this girl then maybe the messages were something that he didn't want anybody to see.. The coverup lie is bothersome.. he either is hiding the severity of the messages or just wants the questioning to go away. I know he is okay with me going through his message, but after this lie, I started to think that he is okay with it because he knew he had already cleared all the suspicious messages between them. And I really concern this particular girl as she is the only person that caused him to lie several times other than this time..but those were white lies like they haven't been together or they don't know each other well.
ScienceGal Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Does he frequently let you have access to his phone and personal accounts? If he regularly leaves them open and at your fingertips, I wouldn't worry. Even if he deleted past messages, it's unlikely that he would give you access while currently engaging in inappropriate behavior and deleting it as he goes (that's a lot of upkeep). If he becomes secretive, stops letting you see his phone, etc., then you might reconsider. Good luck.
Jaina19 Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 And I really concern this particular girl as she is the only person that caused him to lie several times other than this time..but those were white lies like they haven't been together or they don't know each other well. White lies are still lies. And if she's his ex then I'd say those were actually pretty big lies. I've dated a few people who thought it would be a good idea to lie about contacting their exes to spare my feelings, but if someone really has respect for you then they are completely honest with you. I think you should ask him why he lied about those things and what his relationship with her now is, find out where you stand. The messages might be something to worry about, or they could just be regular talk. In the cases of the guys I dated that lied about their exes it was because they didn't want me to know they were still talking to exes to avoid insecurity etc on my part, nothing dodgy going on. One day when I was taking photos with my boyfriend's phone, a message popped up and I recognized the name of this girl that he claimed was his schoolmate, I didn't tell him that I knew she was his ex since long time ago. How did you find out she was his ex?
Author karielg Posted July 1, 2012 Author Posted July 1, 2012 Does he frequently let you have access to his phone and personal accounts? If he regularly leaves them open and at your fingertips, I wouldn't worry. Even if he deleted past messages, it's unlikely that he would give you access while currently engaging in inappropriate behavior and deleting it as he goes (that's a lot of upkeep). If he becomes secretive, stops letting you see his phone, etc., then you might reconsider. Good luck. I don't check his phone a lot, this is the second time through out our half year, but every time he lets me do it.
Author karielg Posted July 1, 2012 Author Posted July 1, 2012 How did you find out she was his ex? I found it out through facebook.
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