RayneLightX7 Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 (edited) ....Hi... I just joined here.. hoping for some... advice, I guess... I don't know why I keep dealing with this, but..... Anyway. After around 5 months of being apart, my boyfriend and I got back together [June 10th, this year] ... at first it was okay. He called me and talked to me online fairly often and said I love you as often as possible. I thought maybe he had changed [...He's.. *sigh* a complete a-hole in most things...] But... He started to ignore me somewhat. He moved to a new apartment and got games and TV and whatnot and was always doing that.... but then he started to ignore me completely. He completely stopped talking to me, but still talked to everyone else. Oh, and.. he lives an hour away from me now, so... Anyway, I deactivated from Facebook a few days ago just as a test to see if I received any reactions. When I came back only 15 hours later, he told me to stop it or there would be consequences........... What the hell? So I said I was sorry, but why would he care. He said "Cuz I love you" ... I apologized again and he said "hmmmm". That was the last thing he said to me. Last night, he was on, but still ignoring me. I signed out. I signed back in an hour later to find... he had blocked me? What the ****? So I signed into Facebook with another account of mine that he forgot about [how stupid can you get] and I checked his wall. He had a status up saying "my turn to disappear" ......... His relationship status was still set to In a relationship so after calming down, I went to sleep, thinking he'd be back by the next day. Well... I signed in around 1pm, he still had me blocked, but I didn't think to check his wall. He signed into Skype [after telling me it hadnt been working for a week] and all he said was ".....It was my turn to disappear............" and then left almost immediately! So I signed into Facebook......... and I checked his Wall. He... he set his relationship status to Single.................. What... the ****ing hell? [Excuse my cursing] I could've had a heart attack my chest was hurting so badly and my heart was beating so quickly... I panicked. I got nauseous and I almost fainted from it. He's NEVER done this! I've done absolutely nothing to cause this. Nothing. I've kept watch on it all day and he acts like nothing happened! Now he's posting a ton of statuses about random things. Excuse this again, but.. he's posting stuff like "When I see you I'ma f*ck your brains out" ... Whose that referring to? And he's posting stuff about other sexual things and having a great time. .... ? I.. I did nothing to make him do this. I was angry... I went to my friend's house [my friend had my ... ex-bf, I guess, now.... as a roommate for awhile but he stole from him so he kicked him out.] for 2 hours, was fine. Came home, and my anger returned but now I'm crying :/ .... I feel sorrow. And a lot of it. Do you.. have any idea as to why he would've done this? He deleted the automatic status update that says "___ has gone from "in a relationship" to "single"" so... ? Seriously, any ideas..? He was on Skype later on, too, but didnt say a word to me. Didnt acknowledge I was there, didn't say a word..... I'm afraid to speak to him again. I've done nothing but give him more love than anybody could ever ask for. I've given up a ton of things for him. I've been there since day one for him and I've never stopped loving him, even with all the **** he's put me through and all the pain he's put me in in just a year..... What can I do..... ~Edit~ A couple more things. Call me stupid, I really don't care.. First time: July 2, 2011 - September 26, 2011 Second time: Sometime in the very beginning of October, 2011 - November 27, 2011 [he moved to my city in October and it was the best time ever] Third time: April- something [around the 6th] -May 1, 2012.. [i broke up with him... because I couldnt feel emotion at the time so I thought I didnt love him] Fourth Time [He told me he didnt care if he fell out of love, he'd never break it off again so we wouldnt have to go through all this again]: June 10, 2012 - June 29, 2012 .... Even though he never talked to me for pretty much the entire 4th time, I for some reason felt like I should just trust him and it'd be okay......... but it wasn't. Just, like... 2-4 days ago, I had a dream. A nightmare. In the nightmare, he broke up with me out of the blue and said "I'm sorry!" and made me let go of his hand and he ran down the sidewalk, leaving me in the rain, crying.... Could that've been a sign...? But still, why the hell would he break up with me out of the blue? A friend of his promised me nothing was going on with him and anybody else........ so... what went wrong? As much as people tell me he doesn't deserve me and it wasn't my fault, I feel like it is my fault....... What did I do wrong......... ~Matt Edited June 30, 2012 by RayneLightX7
BlazePT Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Hi, and welcome to LoveShack! Ok, that's a pretty rocky thing you guys had there, and the truth is, the people that tell you he doesn't deserve you are right on the money. The guy goesn't know what he wants and sounds very immature; besides, he is dragging you along. He thinks he can do whatever he wants with you. I'd put my money on the fact that he'll still try to get you back, but trust me, you sound much better off without wasting your time and energy with someone as pathetic as that guy. Why would you want someone who's constantly making you sad? Stay in No Contact now. Cut all possible ways of him contacting you and you contacting him. Put all pictures, gifts etc in a box and put the box out of sight. All reminders of him that are on your computer should also be put on a pendrive or deleted. It's time you start detoxing from this guy. Trust me, you'll be much happier and find someone really worthy! Cheers
Author RayneLightX7 Posted June 30, 2012 Author Posted June 30, 2012 BlazePT~ Thanks ^^; And.. I know, I shouldn't be bothered with him. He seemed like such a sweet guy for the first 3 months... He allowed me to fall so deeply in love with him that's it feels so impossible to ever let him go. We clicked, and we have the oddest connection. When we're apart, we fight a lot and call each other names, but we talk a lot more [ironic...]. If we spend too much time from talking to each other, we both go into these horrible moods that don't fade until we talk again [We're both bipolar]. I've dated other people after him during the 5-months-apart thing, but I never ever liked it. I didn't feel... right. It really sucks to feel so depressed and hurt every time he's gone, but I can't stand it when we're together and he breaks up with me for pointless, or zero reasons. ._. The only thing I really have from him is this ring I'm wearing. I always say its cursed, lol.. Because if I take it off, I get this intense feeling of sadness. D: .... It makes me feel better, though, because of what it symbolizes. He told me when he gave it to me, "As long as you wear this ring, I'll always be with you. Distance, love, hate- nothing will stop our connection. I'll forever be there with you so long as you wear it." ^^; .. Plus, its really kickass xD I guess I'll try to get by this time. :/ Thanks for answering, by the way.
KatZee Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 I'm gonna be blunt and to the point. 1. It wasn't out of the blue. With all the on/off going on, his spitefulness, immaturity, game playing and so on and so forth are no the actions of a guy in love. 2. You already know he's an ********* in pretty much all aspects. 3. He's not a source of stability or security. There is way too much drama and toxic unhealthy behavior here. Why are you clinging to this? The sooner you walk away the sooner you'll have peace. This is not love. Not even close. I get it. You're staying because you love him. And you love what you thought you had. Start loving yourself.
Appleness Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Hi Rayne, Sorry that you had to go through all of that.It really sounds like you're having a rough time understanding what he's doing and why. I went through (and am kinda still going though) something similar with my ex and I want to remind you of several things that you may have forgotten : 1) YOU are the better person. Obviously because you're here seeking advice and you aren't asking everyone's input on how to hurt him back because you still care. 2) HE probably hurts too. One of my good friends reminded me of this the other day. It takes 2 people to break up and they both go through a lot of the same emotions at about the same times. So if you're having a crappy moment cause you heard "Not Over You" on the radio...Guess what, when he hears it, he might feel the same.... 3) I know it's cliche but if he really didn't care or isn't going through what you're going through (which I doubt if he's reacting to YOUR facebook actions/comments) then you can do so much better because you deserve someone who is mature and doesn't play silly little games. If he does care, then he's probably scared of the relationship getting too serious (or even more serious, I guess). Give him all the time he needs and in the meantime, do something else. Go to the movies with your friends, work out out the gym, take cooking classes, try a new Groupon, etc. When you see him again, let him see you in a new light and you can also see HIM more clearly. Then decide if he is still worth your time and heartache. I hope that helps. This is an accumulation of lessons that I'e learned these past 2 months. P.S. Don't call him, text him, comment on his facebook, like his stuff on facebook, like his comments on your wall, find excuses to see him, offer to get back together. At least for a few weeks... You have something he doesn't: everyone here at LS supporting you!
Samilia Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 The guy doesn't care, simple as that. Just because he says "I love you" doesn't mean he means it. He however knows that's what you want to hear. The dude lives an hour away, doesn't make the effort to come see you, contact you, call you, etc etc... it's pretty obvious to me right there. Having a status set to "in a relationship" doesn't make one, it's the actions that speak louder than words. He clearly is an *sshole, the way he acted with the roommate, you, the immature status he posts on his wall, etc... You really are better off without this guy, find someone who cares, who calls, who want to be with you. 1
CarrieT Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 I read this: . I deactivated from Facebook a few days ago just as a test to see if I received any reactions. and then this: . When I came back only 15 hours later, he told me to stop it or there would be consequences........... What the hell? You are displaying very immature, serious game-playing tactics and are trying to figure out why someone breaks up with you? Think about it... Grow up a little and stop using FB as a tool to manipulate people. Just communicate honestly and openly and DIRECTLY - no Skype, no text, no FB. Just Talk! Learn from the experience and move on. Do things better next time.
Author RayneLightX7 Posted June 30, 2012 Author Posted June 30, 2012 (edited) @Appleness Thanks. Best response here in my opinion... @CarrieT And who do you think you are to tell me that? Its my choice to do what I want, not anybody else's. Oh, and fyi? It was already ****ing said. He lives an hour away. He has no phone [just cellphone], he just got a cheque yesterday to come see me but now he's not... same with everybody else. They all live 3 hours, even 5 - 8 hours away. I have no way of talking to them otherwise, okay? I don't have a million ****ing dollars to get people to drive me around everyday to go see themm. Not to mention, I can't stand phones so its not like I'd call them. Go be a prick with somebody else. I asked for some advice on my situation, not for you to tell me I'm being immature. You know nothing about me, you know nothing about him, so how can you even say I'm the immature one, wondering why he broke up with me. He does completely stupid things, its not my ****ing fault. And I always communicate honestly. Did you take your bitch-pill today? Oh, and I don't manipulate people. I deactivated as a test towards a few people to see if they actually paid attention, to know more about what goes on in their heads, not as a "game-playing tactic" to get attention. This is advice? Not a chance. More like criticism for nothing. Edited June 30, 2012 by RayneLightX7
YellowShark Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 And people wonder why people like me hate Facebook. Cuz this is the kinda mind games people play on it. Happly not on Stupidbook. And won't date someone who is.
Recommended Posts