Author ThaWholigan Posted July 2, 2012 Author Posted July 2, 2012 Last one please lol I don't know, my experience just hasn't been the same as yours. Maybe it's related to demographics. Likely a demographics thing. London is very diverse so I see lots of things here, in terms of social interactions. There are different looks that are attractive here. If I took you to Enfield, guys would chase you down the street . As for me, it wouldn't hurt if I actually went to the gym and actually became the hot guy with the 6 pack (yes, and the almost massive willy ) I agree with this though it doesn't necessarily apply to me. When I gained weight people told me I look healthier, more beautiful than when I was thinner. Who knows... He was talking about dudes. Girls always look better when they have a little more body fat TBH 2
mesmerized Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 Likely a demographics thing. London is very diverse so I see lots of things here, in terms of social interactions. There are different looks that are attractive here. If I took you to Enfield, guys would chase you down the street . As for me, it wouldn't hurt if I actually went to the gym and actually became the hot guy with the 6 pack (yes, and the almost massive willy ) You made me laugh out loud. With a massive willy you might not even need the abs with girls, though it would be great. 1
Dafa Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 Luck = preparation meets opportunity. It's got nothing to do with flipping a coin and having it land a certain way. Those girls found men because they are outgoing and pleasant to be around Why do you keep avoiding taking responsibility for your own failures? Regarding that cliché you are using: the word "opportunity". How would you do define it within this context? A random event? Something that you in deterministic way can induce to happen? The way i see it, luck is just a general word that is used to name events that happen that cannot be deterministically defined. The world is not deterministic. Things are too complex to be able to be explained with a deterministic model or framework. Science has already thoroughly discussed this issue, especially in the physical sciences. Now going back to the cliché, whose words are very persuasively chosen, i might add. The best you can do is try to prepare yourself, and there i agree. But when there is lack of opportunity, there's not much you can do. And that is Verzhn's argument. Having said that, i can agree that some people tend to avoid responsibility and blame "luck". On the other hand, sometimes people have some serendipitous event happen in their lives and assume it's their doing. What is annoying to me is that some then will, most of the times, immediately climb onto a pedestal and start throwing around general (and therefore superficial) advice with "holier than thou" mentality. It works both ways. And Verzhn: You are being WAY too defensive (and therefore inflexible) in your arguments. Looks matter to get through the initial door, both for men and women. I am hugely curious to see a photo of you. I doubt you are as bad as you say you are... And here i could present the following argument, which is something i think AToA is saying: Judging from the way you are arguing in this topic, all that rage and malcontent may also be present in your everyday life and that can scare of men... As for your question. Humbleness is a very pervasive personality trait. You are reducing it to either the person has a high or low image of herself. Humbleness can be seen in the way a person talks, in how certain she/he is of his/her opinions, even in the way he/she moves. I think it is a very beautiful trait and it is much rarer than people think. But that's me. So to answer your question: In my opinion, if you are ugly and you state that you are ugly, then you are not IN THAT PARTICULAR event being humble. But that doesn't mean that you are not a very humble person.
verhrzn Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 Regarding that cliché you are using: the word "opportunity". How would you do define it within this context? A random event? Something that you in deterministic way can induce to happen? The way i see it, luck is just a general word that is used to name events that happen that cannot be deterministically defined. The world is not deterministic. Things are too complex to be able to be explained with a deterministic model or framework. Science has already thoroughly discussed this issue, especially in the physical sciences. Now going back to the cliché, whose words are very persuasively chosen, i might add. The best you can do is try to prepare yourself, and there i agree. But when there is lack of opportunity, there's not much you can do. And that is Verzhn's argument. Having said that, i can agree that some people tend to avoid responsibility and blame "luck". On the other hand, sometimes people have some serendipitous event happen in their lives and assume it's their doing. What is annoying to me is that some then will, most of the times, immediately climb onto a pedestal and start throwing around general (and therefore superficial) advice with "holier than thou" mentality. It works both ways. As for your question. Humbleness is a very pervasive personality trait. You are reducing it to either the person has a high or low image of herself. Humbleness can be seen in the way a person talks, in how certain she/he is of his/her opinions, even in the way he/she moves. I think it is a very beautiful trait and it is much rarer than people think. But that's me. So to answer your question: In my opinion, if you are ugly and you state that you are ugly, then you are not IN THAT PARTICULAR event being humble. But that doesn't mean that you are not a very humble person. Good summary of what I would summarize as luck. And I can't seem to send you a PM, so guess you'll never know. I'm curious, how can someone be humble? Humbleness assumes being aware of one's own awesomeness, and then playing it down. Doesn't that mean someone must be awesome, in order to be humble? How should humbleness and confidence interact?
Author ThaWholigan Posted July 2, 2012 Author Posted July 2, 2012 You made me laugh out loud. With a massive willy you might not even need the abs with girls, though it would be great. Why not have both? I always aim high 2
threebyfate Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 I actually think that most people have a higher perception of their beauty than reality. I know a woman who is average to cute. I have showed guys her pic and the responses were average to butterface. But people have told her she looks like megan fox and angelina jolie. So thats what she buys. Its rarer for a person to think they are unattractive and thus its a more attractive quality to me.Or is it possible your standards are too high, hence why you're still single?
Els Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 Because the men settled, or the girls get lucky. Why do you keep avoiding disproving that? Or maybe I'm just even uglier than they are, ever thought of that? It's really fairly simple if you think of it in the context of a job interview (it's a bad thing to compare relationships to, but just bear with me here). There are people getting picked over more highly-qualified people ALL THE TIME. The way you are viewing this, there should only be three possible reasons for that: The employer settled, the employee got lucky, or maybe they actually do have a higher qualification than you and you didn't know it. But what about all the OTHER factors that the employer might have considered? They might have had better job experience than you. They might have displayed better people skills and wowed the employer with their words. They might have demonstrated the sort of attitude the employer might have wanted in a candidate so that he would fit into the culture of the workplace. And the list goes on. Looks are not the only thing that everyone cares about in a partner. The most likely reason for less good-looking people having a partner is that they demonstrated other (improvable!) qualities that endeared them to the partner. Sure, luck may play a part (for everyone), sure, some people settle. I don't see how that negates the FACT that there are plenty of other factors in play.
irc333 Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 Regarding that cliché you are using: the word "opportunity". How would you do define it within this context? A random event? Something that you in deterministic way can induce to happen? The way i see it, luck is just a general word that is used to name events that happen that cannot be deterministically defined. The world is not deterministic. Things are too complex to be able to be explained with a deterministic model or framework. Science has already thoroughly discussed this issue, especially in the physical sciences. Exactly, people make spend bundles of money attending various types of motivational seminars to listen to speakers spout out those buzzwords. I don't know if someone heard or read "The Secret", it was a bunch of hogwash on how if you pictured in your mind, or somehow "Willed" it into your life by wanting it badly enough.
Dafa Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 Women and men do not have the same aesthetic standard. Women's initial attraction level can be overcome with a guy's personality, when a guy approaches her and shows he's worthwhile. But a guy has to be physically attracted to a woman first to even approach her. Why the heck would a guy hang out with an ugly woman (so he can get to know her better) if he isn't initially interested? That makes no sense. I don't agree with this. My personal view is that women are much similar to men than you state. What i (think) men do: They look at a woman and judge their physical appearance. After this, if they deem it "hot enough", they will continue to subsequent stages. However, they always have a clear idea of that initial physical judgement throughtout the whole interaction they have with that woman, either it's for a one night stand or a marriage. What i believe women do is: They look at a man and judge their appearance, much like men do. If the woman deems it "sufficient", then they go to the next stage, where they also judge the man's personality. Up until now it is somewhat similar to what happens to men but the difference lies in the fact that women then allow for the personality judgement to "interfere" with their initial physical judgement, and vice-versa. That's why hot men have a much more lenient space to work with when interacting with women. It's like i said some time ago here: If you have an ugly and shy dude, women will tend to "label" him as an anti-social nerd with no personality. However, if you have a hot and shy dude, women will tend to evaluate him as a brooding, mysterious (and hence, hot) guy. The personality can be exactly the same (hypothetically) but the evaluation of the dude's personality, and of the dude as a whole, will be very different. Men, on the other hand, have a much clearer picture. If she is hot, she is always hot, regardless of her personality. Men may not like her personality, and that can lead them to not approach/interact with her, but they will always have a clear picture that she is hot... Unless you just know your luck is bad in certain areas. We have no evidence that the future ISN'T set. You do not have any way to know your luck in the future. Extrapolating your "future luck" from you "past luck" is precisely the fallacy he is talking about. So you can state that your luck so far has not been good, fair enough. But you cannot say anything for certain about your luck in the future. You can, however, make a statistically-based argument that does not use past trials or events. Getting tails on a coin flip is always 50%, regardless of what you got in the previous 10 or 1000 tries. You also can increase the chance that "luck" will strike by going out there, as you have been doing and as people have been advising you to. I believe the future isn't set but this is a very philosophical and metaphysical discussion so let's not go there.
Dafa Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 Good summary of what I would summarize as luck. And I can't seem to send you a PM, so guess you'll never know. I'm curious, how can someone be humble? Humbleness assumes being aware of one's own awesomeness, and then playing it down. Doesn't that mean someone must be awesome, in order to be humble? How should humbleness and confidence interact? As for the humbleness, this is, at least for me, a very hard trait to define. Let's take an example: Not sure if you heard of José Mourinho, Real Madrid's soccer manager. He is supposedly the best manager nowadays. He is not humble, not in the least. But i think he has a very good idea of how "awesome" he is and he most definitely does not down-play it. The thing that would make him humble would be something like: Stating (and believing) that his accomplishments are much of his merit as of his players and technical staff. Humbleness can also be a person simply believing that his opinion is as valid as the other person's, even when he disagrees with the other person's opinion. Perhaps you can try to define it through the use of the opposite. For example, "hubris" is a lack of humbleness. As for awesomeness, can you list me some people that you think are truly "awesome"? Personally, i admire (and therefore consider awesome) very very few people. This from the people that i interact with. As for "idols" (i.e., people that i do not know personally but tend to admire), they are very particular and not very close to what people normally think. I believe people, most of the times, have an over-inflated image of themselves, not only in terms of physical self-image, but also (and perhaps most importantly) in terms of evaluation of their own personality. 1
Leigh 87 Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 ............ I never let looks hold me back, and I believe I am worthy of any guy who finds me to be remarkable and like a great girl for them. I do not assume they will be ugly or hot. I know I am gorgeous to some men, and plain to others. Like most women. My personal style helps; my bags, shoes, clothes, hair styles.... I know who I am right now, and everything I wear represents the person I am, and the mood I feel. I really get a HUGE KICK out of showing who I am as a person, through my clothes, shoes, and outward apperance!! I really get a kick out of the process of getting dressed, and picking my clothes based on how I feel that day................ I have never had a trouble getting men these days, because I am really proud that I am unique, and shout it out; I flaunt my own taste and preferences. I want to scream it down a roof top, I am so happy to be me, and to know what I like. If I was lack lustre and had nothing that drew people in - I would not get guys approaching me based on my looks alone - I am not good looking enough facially, even when I am super fit. If I had a bad style and bad presence, my hot body alone would not get men to approach me. When I developed my personal style and learnt to LOVE it and want to show it off every day ( I liked who I was and loved showing people who I was through my clothes and style) HEAPS of men approached me. My looks had not changed facially, but I had something extra about me that drew people in. 1
Jane2011 Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 I do my best with my appearance. The thing I've done lately is not physical but a fashion thing. In the past two or three months, I wear dresses and skirts a lot more than I used to. I've just had this desire to be girly lately.
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 Because the men settled, or the girls get lucky. Why do you keep avoiding disproving that? V, I have a question for you. In real life, do you tend to steer all conversations into being about how ugly you are, and to corner people into a position where their only option is to agree with you about how awful you are, like you do here? If you do, this could explain some of your social unhappiness. 1
Dafa Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 Good summary of what I would summarize as luck. And I can't seem to send you a PM, so guess you'll never know. I'm curious, how can someone be humble? Humbleness assumes being aware of one's own awesomeness, and then playing it down. Doesn't that mean someone must be awesome, in order to be humble? How should humbleness and confidence interact? Well, i don't even know how to send a PM so i can't help you there. But i'm more than glad to talk in a more private manner! Do i have to activate anything in my profile to allow me to send/receive PM's. Sorry for the highjacking of the thread but as you can see, i'm a total noob at these things. As for your last question "How should humbleness and confidence interact?". Firstly, it's not a question of "how should" but of "how do you see (...)". I'm no one to tell other people how things should be done. Anyways, in my view, a given person can be very confident in its opinion and still be humble about it. I see humbleness (within a given field, so to say) as more of a question of validating other people's opinions and debate them as being equal to your own, even when you really don't agree with them. This is why i am very skeptical of people like Che Guevara, for example. He had his opinion and was very loyal to it, which of course is an admirable quality. But these people also tend to impose those opinions onto others, and this is what puts me off. But this is my not very popular view and admitedly requires some maturing on my part... Also, you can (or perhaps appear to) be a very arrogant person in some areas of your life and be very humble in others.
counterman Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 Yes, my physical appearance can definitely be improved. Three years ago when I was dating my ex-girlfriend, I was dressing pretty ordinarily. It wasn't bad but it wasn't great either. My jeans would be too big, my shirts would be too loose and I wasn't good at matching. My ex brought it up at times as well (it was very embarrassing for her because she dressed really well and to be seen next to be was just horrific ) I started working out but really couldn't stick to it. Now, I have a slim to medium build, slightly toned. I would like to be more toned. As for clothing, I've been wearing the same clothes for a year now and haven't been shopping for ages. I could always improve in that department. I use to care a lot more about these things but now I just don't give a ****. Improving my fashion would certainly help with dating but I'll improve it gradually and sort of figure out my own style and taste
verhrzn Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 V, I have a question for you. In real life, do you tend to steer all conversations into being about how ugly you are, and to corner people into a position where their only option is to agree with you about how awful you are, like you do here? If you do, this could explain some of your social unhappiness. Well, I'm posting in a thread that's all about physical improvement. I'm not sure how I "steer" the conversation, since several posters have mentioned their own looks and experiences (Leigh and Jane on page 12, for example.) So, not sure what you're meaning there. ... Also not sure how in the world I corner people to agree with me. One of my biggest frustrations with this forum is that people DON'T agree with me, no matter how logical my statements are and how much evidence I present. So, uh... if you could give me tips on how to actually get people to agree with me, that'd be great.
Christine52 Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 I think the face can be improved to a certain extent, unless you're a girl and a genius with the make up brush. For men, some facial improvements I've seen: 1. Hair 2. Eye brows - tweeze dem caterpillars!!! 3. Teeth - PLEASE whiten your teeth. It's one of the easiest, fastest way to improve your appearance. 4. Even skin tone - i.e. get rid of them acne! For the body, ANYONE can improve, unless you have genetics against you (i..e your entire family tends to be on the heavy set side), then you may need more than a good diet and exercise. For Presence, I see this as a combination of confidence and charm
Christine52 Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 Well, I'm posting in a thread that's all about physical improvement. I'm not sure how I "steer" the conversation, since several posters have mentioned their own looks and experiences (Leigh and Jane on page 12, for example.) So, not sure what you're meaning there. ... Also not sure how in the world I corner people to agree with me. One of my biggest frustrations with this forum is that people DON'T agree with me, no matter how logical my statements are and how much evidence I present. So, uh... if you could give me tips on how to actually get people to agree with me, that'd be great. Dude, this is the internet. TROLLS BE ROLLIN'!!! There are people who LIVE and BREATHE off disagreeing with you.
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