yongyong Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Sometimes, I wish I was one of those guys who are fat, has no style, has weird hair lol So I can just do huge makeover and it will def improve my life from current status. I think I am at almost full potential. I am not very muscular but I am toned. I keep my hair short. I dress nice that gay guy will notice. I don't think there is nothing I can do to improve my looks unless I get plastic surgery. But then, I got intrigued by Charisma. you've been a charismatic person. they are not doing anything outstanding but just by their presence, you notice them. I think that's what I want to work on...... I am taking acting class just to get out of my shell and hopefully this can help. 1
Author ThaWholigan Posted June 30, 2012 Author Posted June 30, 2012 Come on, Tha, you know it isn't like that. Some people just hit a wall, or hit the ceiling, and don't know where to go. I've done everything I can think of to try to improve (work out, wear make-up, get fashion advice) and it hasn't helped. I have tapped out my knowledge and all my resources. When you reach the end of your rope, and there's no where to go, but nothing has changed.... it can be deeply frustrating and demoralizing. Is it really fair to judge or call someone else lazy when you haven't been in their life and experienced their struggles? I get that, and there will be exceptions to any rule in life. I believe you. I just think that there are too much people who give up at the 1st hurdles and it's such a waste. I couldn't imagine what I would be like if I was like that. I would probably be in a language unit with no comprehension or self-awareness as well as social. I suppose it's not fair though, but I just don't believe anyone should just give up.
verhrzn Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Your body looked perfectly fine in that picture I saw. Stop acting like you're fat because you're not Your face didn't look that bad either in that pic Knock it off. You'd ignore me if we were at a club, so stop trying to prove you're not shallow. I get that, and there will be exceptions to any rule in life. I believe you. I just think that there are too much people who give up at the 1st hurdles and it's such a waste. I couldn't imagine what I would be like if I was like that. I would probably be in a language unit with no comprehension or self-awareness as well as social. I suppose it's not fair though, but I just don't believe anyone should just give up. I don't know if it's giving up, so much as accepting limitations and choosing to focus energy elsewhere. I think giving up can actually be a healthy endeavor... if you're throwing money down a hole (on clothes, or make-up, or private training lessons) and getting no where, and it's just dragging you down, giving up for a while can settle you back into a neutral emotional place. We don't all have the same limitations, the same talents, the same skill sets. It's what makes us unique and human. Perhaps YOUR talent is the ability to never give up. But for other people, wasting all this time on "dating improvements" may actually hinder them from discovering their actual talents. 1
jobaba Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 (edited) Disagree. This is just jealousy, insecurity, and a bit of laziness on their part, and your second post kind of verified that for me. People hate on people who have what they don't have, and woman will hate on men (and men hating on women) who have attributes which make them more desirable to other women... Your friends "go for" certain types because those types don't possess what your friends themselves don't possess...they don't want you to improve, because in their eyes, your improvement will cause women who are "better" than them to see you as desirable...life is one big d*ck-measuring contest...men and women alike... Just a thought. True. But even if i have a rock. Hard body (already better than average now) i will still accept less. Just cuz i been the one who has been kicked around. Ya knwo.... not true at all. You can gain size and stay at single digit body fat percentage Just gain slow - gain 1-2 LBs a month. You gotta work out hard though...work out with a furious intensity Yea. Im trying again. But last time i ggained4 lbs of muscle/fat from working out 5 days a week and intaking close to 2500 cal a day. Lost it all back in 6 months. But im at it again. 45 min max rep sets of 8. 15 min cardio Edited June 30, 2012 by jobaba
FitChick Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 But its the only way i can think of to improve. Ive never been overweight. Post a picture and we'll tell you how to improve!
FitChick Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Here is someone who has done everything to improve and, while it cost her a fortune, she wound up creating a business because of it. It's interesting how the photo of her in her 20s actually looks like she is middle-aged which she is now. Scroll through her photos to see all of her ops. I personally think she should quit while she's ahead. I've followed her career for years because she's been on TV shows in both the US and UK. She is a member of Mensa and has a self-deprecating sense of humor. What got me on her side was learning that when she was in her 20s some guy she adored dumped her saying she was ugly. Twenty years later he came back from living abroad to find out she was a celebrity. He was desperate to date her of course, but she turned him down. Added bonus: he used to be good looking but is now overweight and bald. Go, Cindy! However, most of us don't have the money or courage to do what she did.
threebyfate Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Simple question. Can they be improved to boost your dating potential? I believe they can, but obviously not everyone will agree . I'm talking fitness, body, movement, body language, expression, grooming (including face), fashion/style etc..... 100% agree it's possible. So no-brainer. Take a look at entertainment and fashion. They all go through a grooming process. Many even take speech lessons to improve on diction. 1
FitChick Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Talk about being vain and superficial to another degree. People need to learn to age gracefully. Have I got a girl for you! She is definitely "aging gracefully." She's rich, too. Go for it! (not Ann Curry, who is Cindy's age. Scroll down to the article)
threebyfate Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 This place is so full of "I can't, I can't" when the real reason is, "I won't, I won't" or "I can't improve because I'll never look like Megan Fox or Johnny Depp". Well sure, that's a fact that you'll never look like either of those hotties but everyone, every.single.person can improve themselves, bar none. 4
Author ThaWholigan Posted June 30, 2012 Author Posted June 30, 2012 This place is so full of "I can't, I can't" when the real reason is, "I won't, I won't" or "I can't improve because I'll never look like Megan Fox or Johnny Depp". Well sure, that's a fact that you'll never look like either of those hotties but everyone, every.single.person can improve themselves, bar none. I wish I could like this 10 times. 1
EasyHeart Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 I wish I could like this 10 times. But you can't, you can't!!! 3
ptp Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 Fixed it for you I don't know SF, it certainly doesn't feel like "some", it feels like "a lot". There was a thread on LS a while ago where people talked about their physical ideal. A lot of women put they liked the lean build, nobody put they like bigger guys. Also, watch any chick flick and the lead character is a relatively lean guy, walk into an Abercombie store and look the male ideal that is displayed. When I was in school, the girl I had a huge crush on, her idea of perfect build was basically Brad Pitt in Fight Club. If it sounds like I am blaming women, I am not. I am just relaying what I have seen and it is just how society is. Whether it is nature or nurture, I don't know, but the media does project a certain image for the male ideal. 1
jobaba Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 (edited) This place is so full of "I can't, I can't" when the real reason is, "I won't, I won't" or "I can't improve because I'll never look like Megan Fox or Johnny Depp". Well sure, that's a fact that you'll never look like either of those hotties but everyone, every.single.person can improve themselves, bar none. I actually think that most people have a higher perception of their beauty than reality. I know a woman who is average to cute. I have showed guys her pic and the responses were average to butterface. But people have told her she looks like megan fox and angelina jolie. So thats what she buys. Its rarer for a person to think they are unattractive and thus its a more attractive quality to me. Edited July 1, 2012 by jobaba
FitChick Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 For the women - go to a department store makeup counter and ask them when their regional makeup artist will be coming for a visit because you'd like a makeover. Sometimes it's only once or twice a year that they tour all the stores. Ask at several different brands' counters. Avoid the sales assistants, who generally look like clowns, unless one has beautifully applied makeup and the same coloring as you. I have no suggestions for the guys, unfortunately.
Els Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 I actually think that most people have a higher perception of their beauty than reality. I know a woman who is average to cute. I have showed guys her pic and the responses were average to butterface. But people have told her she looks like megan fox and angelina jolie. So thats what she buys. Its rarer for a person to think they are unattractive and thus its a more attractive quality to me. Well, it's hard to tell what reality is, when beauty in itself is a fairly subjective quality. Personally, I don't think the best judge is a select group of people of the opposite sex. There are people who for some reason feel the need to consistently underrate or put down the appearance of people of the opposite sex. I could hypothesize plenty of reasons for this, but they won't be pretty ones (pun intended). And of course, friends will tend to say nice things about your appearance to you - that isn't to say that they are necessarily untrue, but I don't know many people who base their opinion of their own appearance solely based on exaggerated compliments from friends.
Leigh 87 Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 A resounding YES............... I had deformed teeth and couldn't talk properly. I got braces twice, instead of seeing a speech pathologist. I only had one or two good friends in primary school, but a lot of kids were 'off" me simply because I was unnattractive. So, I had: two sets of braces, teeth whitening because they were a dark shade of grey/yellow, hair extensions because my hair fell out... without hair ( ok, it was baby fine hair like that of a 4 year old) and with crooked teeth, I would have seldom gotten dates - I would have had to become one of those utterly inspirational people who know 7 languages and make a go of themselves because they HAVE no sex appeal, and therefore need to look within and grab people based on souly who they ARE; seeing as they are repulsive to look at, initially. Ugly people do find mates and are very hapy, the same average or hot people are, of course. I just did not want to be one of them. I also had: acne, a bent and broken nose, and was chubby for my build ( ya know, cos the deformed and yellow teeth, and my hair falling out was not ENOUGH bashing with te ugly stick..) I am a 6/10 facially now, and whe I am thin and fit, I am a 7.5 out of ten , becaus e I have nice teeth, huge eyes and full lips, with a killer thin body that is still curvy. I am very greatful that I improved my appearance. It made it FAR easier for me to better myself, because I was more confident. Looks ave the ability to make you more confident. I would have been MORE inspirational if I had overcome my adversity of being proufoundly ugly, and made a go at life whilst ugly....... But I chose the easy way out, and m parets agreed to pay for : braces, hair extensions until my full thick hair grows back, teeth whitening, and the BC pill that cured my acne ( I have bad acne without it, and crystal clear skin on the pill) I am be less inspirational than a person who is severely ugly like I was and who tried their best in life despite their set back. I just saw an opportunity to improve my appearance, and took it. I think it really has made my life easier. I find it easier to be more confident and to get on with life, when I am not ugly. I am going to work very hard to cultivate a great personality for mysekf, and always try to further my knowledge of key areas in life.... I am going to keep thin and fit and work at m body, too. Using money to improve your appearance is great in my view - as long as you still strive to be te best version of yourself. I am getting a nose job next,because it is broken and dented, and because I am would be really pretty if I had a straight, nice feminine nose, seeing as my other features are very pretty ( big eyes, thick lips, long hair, clear skin, and straight teeth). I like to party and look good, to be thin and fit and young and have that thing. I do not want it though, without developing my personality to the best of my ability. I like to look good and want to look better, but I will not slack off on my pursuits that are non physical related.
Leigh 87 Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 What's more - the benifit of improving teeth, having clear skin, and being thin and fit, is that you need less make up, if your comfortable with it. I barly wear make up besides mascara, and tinted face moisturizer. Because I have long, feminine hair, good teeth, and nice skin. I wear tinted lip balm if I go out, though. Of course - everyone has heard my boring story on how I was once super thin and slim wear model body ready ( 110 lbs, D bra size, curvy yet very slim, worked out hours a day), and had super thick hair, and yet I failed to attract men - because I was obsessed with food and was a shell of a person. I get a lot of attention now, opposed to before, because I am way mroe friendly, outgoing, and I smile a lot. I NEVER smiled befor I am nothing to write home about, but my personality is what gets any guy to chat with me. Far better looking guys than people would assume I could get upo frist glance, take to me, because I do not THINK that my appearance will limit me; I just think I will talk to guys, and some will really like me. I do not aim for leagues of that b/s. I am in the middle of learning more about world events, the economy, politics, and I am learning a few languages, to better myself, so I can connect with more people; just as friends, and therefore for potential dates. I was ot that well read or clever, and of course, that limits the people who want to interact with you.
mesmerized Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 When it comes to women, it's much more about physical appearance than it is about presence, those thing mostly applies to men. There probably are things I can do to improve my "presence", I have no ides whatsoever what tho
ascendotum Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 When it comes to women, it's much more about physical appearance than it is about presence, those thing mostly applies to men. There probably are things I can do to improve my "presence", I have no ides whatsoever what tho Watch that zooey deschanel show, and her movies and copy her style. Short dresses, low cut tops, and daisy duke shorts will help improve your presence M.
Emilia Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 I don't know SF, it certainly doesn't feel like "some", it feels like "a lot". There was a thread on LS a while ago where people talked about their physical ideal. A lot of women put they liked the lean build, nobody put they like bigger guys. Also, watch any chick flick and the lead character is a relatively lean guy, walk into an Abercombie store and look the male ideal that is displayed. When I was in school, the girl I had a huge crush on, her idea of perfect build was basically Brad Pitt in Fight Club. If it sounds like I am blaming women, I am not. I am just relaying what I have seen and it is just how society is. Whether it is nature or nurture, I don't know, but the media does project a certain image for the male ideal. I think that's mainly younger women, which at your age is understandable of course. It will change as you get older and date a slightly older crowd
Author ThaWholigan Posted July 2, 2012 Author Posted July 2, 2012 When it comes to women, it's much more about physical appearance than it is about presence, those thing mostly applies to men. There probably are things I can do to improve my "presence", I have no ides whatsoever what tho There are. I'll get back to you on that though
mesmerized Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 Watch that zooey deschanel show, and her movies and copy her style. Short dresses, low cut tops, and daisy duke shorts will help improve your presence M. That's again more appearance, I imagine presence is more a personality thing ?
Pierre Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 Being clean, fit, and with good taste in clothing. Good manners go a long way as well as education. Overdoing physical appearance is detrimental if done to excess. But, in the end a pretty girl with no vanity wins over a vain girl with similar looks.
LittlePrince Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 You can change them but it won't increase your dateability.
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