SarahRose Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 working out, hair, makeup, well fitting flattering clothes always helps. weak chins, no cheekbones, big noses, dumbo ears, massive gums, can all be fixed with surgery
irc333 Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Simple question. Can they be improved to boost your dating potential? I believe they can, but obviously not everyone will agree . I'm talking fitness, body, movement, body language, expression, grooming (including face), fashion/style etc..... I got a weird shaped head that I can't do anything about.
jobaba Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 working out, hair, makeup, well fitting flattering clothes always helps. weak chins, no cheekbones, big noses, dumbo ears, massive gums, can all be fixed with surgery I completely disagree. I've seen before and after pics of plastic surgery and the people don't look any more attractive. The only exception is if you have a really big nose. If I really thought going under the knife would help, I'd do it.
denise_xo Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 I think that people's ceilings are a lot higher than they think personally. /QUOTE] I agree with this. As human beings, I think we probably only realise half or our potential, or even less. 1
RedRobin Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Simple question. Can they be improved to boost your dating potential? I believe they can, but obviously not everyone will agree . I'm talking fitness, body, movement, body language, expression, grooming (including face), fashion/style etc..... Absolutely. I'm thinking of the young man in the ballet class I attend. When he first attended, he was a severely introverted young gent. I felt sorry for him. Almost motherly, he was that shy. Shoulders slumped over. Walked kind of clumsily. In the year or two he has been attending, I've seen him come out of his shell to an amazing extent. To the point where he is now flirting with me (ha!) and I'm even enjoying it! (of course, he's a pup. I wouldn't exploit that)... but still. Gotta give him credit. What has changed? His posture. Number one. Something like ballet (or anything that involves balance... yoga is another good one)... You learn where your body is. You don't come across as a puppy with big feet who can't get out of its own way. You know what I'm talking about.. Second, his confidence around women. Having to pick women up and hold them confidently doesn't come naturally to alot of guys. Dance classes teach you this. In addition, you get a sense of how women respond to your touch in a neutral, safe environment. If he is the only man in class, all the ladies are obliged to dance with him. Can't beat THOSE odds! 2
irc333 Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Definitely good points, Robin. Though, however, I tend to see most women tend to favor going out and dancing, while men kind of sit on the sidelines and watch. So obviously they could snag a woman without the need for the ability to dance. But I know what you mean though. Absolutely. I'm thinking of the young man in the ballet class I attend. When he first attended, he was a severely introverted young gent. I felt sorry for him. Almost motherly, he was that shy. Shoulders slumped over. Walked kind of clumsily. In the year or two he has been attending, I've seen him come out of his shell to an amazing extent. To the point where he is now flirting with me (ha!) and I'm even enjoying it! (of course, he's a pup. I wouldn't exploit that)... but still. Gotta give him credit. What has changed? His posture. Number one. Something like ballet (or anything that involves balance... yoga is another good one)... You learn where your body is. You don't come across as a puppy with big feet who can't get out of its own way. You know what I'm talking about.. Second, his confidence around women. Having to pick women up and hold them confidently doesn't come naturally to alot of guys. Dance classes teach you this. In addition, you get a sense of how women respond to your touch in a neutral, safe environment. If he is the only man in class, all the ladies are obliged to dance with him. Can't beat THOSE odds!
RedRobin Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 So obviously they could snag a woman without the need for the ability to dance. If they are at a club and they are just watching, they would be missing an opportunity. Besides, we aren't talking about picking women up at clubs. We are talking about how to develop the kind of confidence and presence one can get from learning how to dance... or something like it... I mentioned other things. Guess my tastes are more refined than most. The cocky, macho... so-called 'confident' men I've learned are just the opposite. They hold no appeal to me.
zengirl Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Yes. Hell, posture and attitude can improve it in a moment. I'm sure there's a "max out" point, but anyone at their natural "max out" point would still be at least slightly more than average levels of attractiveness, even without using intense things like cosmetic surgery, unless they were born with an actual birth defect or had some kind of terribly scarring accident. 1
DjinnAgain Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 (edited) Simple question. Can they be improved to boost your dating potential? I believe they can, but obviously not everyone will agree . I'm talking fitness, body, movement, body language, expression, grooming (including face), fashion/style etc..... No, I'm perfect. Ha. ha. ha. I will say I don't have much inteto day, rest in what I could do to improve my physical appearance because there are things I would rather work on. I am fit, though not for physical appearance, and fashion BORES me to tears. I can rock a good little black dress but day to day, ah, lucky that it matches. I have very long hair I brush and can manage basic styles like a ponytail or a bun... Don't even own any sprays or anything... Wear makeup maybe once a month. Think my face looks great without it, and I prefer natural and no work! (Likewise, I am out the door FAST if a guy is worried about fashion and all kinds of hair products or anything... not my kind of guy; though all guys should own a suit that fits and know how to wear it, above that is too much.) But, I have no trouble attracting the guys I want so I'm not too concerned. It sure doesn't add anything to my life on its own. Edited June 30, 2012 by DjinnAgain
DjinnAgain Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 . A lot of women prefer the lean/skinny look.. Uhh... who? Most women I know prefer a guy with a bigger natural build. Especially FIT with a bigger natural build
Els Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Sure it can. The same thing applies to virtually anything, really - work on it and you will improve. However, the question is to what extent it is worth it, and how to balance it with everything else. I'm sure everyone's ceiling is way higher than they would imagine, but I'm not certain that putting in what is needed to attain that, is the best route to happiness and/or success in life. People only have 24 hours in their day, and need to choose what they are going to be spending their time on improving. I have never understood those who were obsessed about their appearance to the point of spending 5-6 hours a day on it (exercise + beauty maintenance/routine), usually to the exclusion of spending time on improving any OTHER skills. Balance means giving up some 'ceiling' in order to be an all-rounder, IMO. 3
Author ThaWholigan Posted June 30, 2012 Author Posted June 30, 2012 Absolutely. I'm thinking of the young man in the ballet class I attend. When he first attended, he was a severely introverted young gent. I felt sorry for him. Almost motherly, he was that shy. Shoulders slumped over. Walked kind of clumsily. In the year or two he has been attending, I've seen him come out of his shell to an amazing extent. To the point where he is now flirting with me (ha!) and I'm even enjoying it! (of course, he's a pup. I wouldn't exploit that)... but still. Gotta give him credit. What has changed? His posture. Number one. Something like ballet (or anything that involves balance... yoga is another good one)... You learn where your body is. You don't come across as a puppy with big feet who can't get out of its own way. You know what I'm talking about.. Second, his confidence around women. Having to pick women up and hold them confidently doesn't come naturally to alot of guys. Dance classes teach you this. In addition, you get a sense of how women respond to your touch in a neutral, safe environment. If he is the only man in class, all the ladies are obliged to dance with him. Can't beat THOSE odds! I loved this post. The way a person moves (man or woman) can really change the way people perceive you IMO.
Feelsgoodman Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Simple question. Can they be improved to boost your dating potential? I believe they can, but obviously not everyone will agree . I'm talking fitness, body, movement, body language, expression, grooming (including face), fashion/style etc..... I don't understand your question. Of course you can improve your appearance by working out, dressing better, etc. How can you argue otherwise?
Author ThaWholigan Posted June 30, 2012 Author Posted June 30, 2012 I don't understand your question. Of course you can improve your appearance by working out, dressing better, etc. How can you argue otherwise? It's just that I marvel at the amount of people who think this is "so hard" to do. That's kinda why I made the thread.
USMCHokie Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 It's just that I marvel at the amount of people who think this is "so hard" to do. That's kinda why I made the thread. Well, it is hard to do...relatively speaking, and it's "harder" for some than it is for others...and there are different "costs" associated with it...whether it's time, money, physical effort, discipline, etc. Most people have their own form of "lazy"...
Author ThaWholigan Posted June 30, 2012 Author Posted June 30, 2012 Well, it is hard to do...relatively speaking, and it's "harder" for some than it is for others...and there are different "costs" associated with it...whether it's time, money, physical effort, discipline, etc. Most people have their own form of "lazy"... They obviously don't want to improve things that badly and would rather complain .......... I'm always looking to improve in every area of my life. I find joy in it. 3
mortensorchid Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 It's absolutely true. Having once weighed 45 lbs heavier than I do now, I can tell you that people in general treat you differently when you are overweight / fat. If you dress down and do not wear make up or brush your hair at all times, people see you as kind of a kid rather than an adult, or not caring all that much about your appearance. Don't believe me? Do an experiment sometime. Show up in sweats and a T shirt at a trendy place where people dress up, or vice versa. People can and do treat you differently.
FitChick Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 I agree with an earlier poster about posture revealing the inner person as well as showing fitness generally. I work with a woman whom I've nicknamed Sad Sack after a comic strip character. She isn't overweight but walks as if she is carrying a heavy pack on her back and scanning the ground for loose change. I tried befriending her but she is very unfriendly so now I ignore her, as do most people. She managed to score the only windowless office in our building, which seems appropriate. This woman is surrounded by a negative force field. Compare her to another co-worker who is obese with a lot of health problems (to the point where I worry about her) but is always cheerful, helpful, very outgoing and very popular with everyone. She dresses well for her size, wears all sorts of wigs (common amongst black women), and flirts with the FedEx and UPS guys. 1
KungFuJoe Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Of course you can make yourself look better. Everyone has a ceiling, but I also think a lot of people have untapped potential. For guys, things like how they dress, haircut, facial hair, posture can drastically improve appearances. For women, it's pretty much the same, except swap facial hair for makeup. 1
jobaba Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Well, it is hard to do...relatively speaking, and it's "harder" for some than it is for others...and there are different "costs" associated with it...whether it's time, money, physical effort, discipline, etc. Most people have their own form of "lazy"... The funny thing is im trying to put on 10 pounds of muscle. I WANT TO DO IT. But female friends tell me not to. They say i look fine as is. So ... technically you can improve and do worse witht women.
KungFuJoe Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 The funny thing is im trying to put on 10 pounds of muscle. I WANT TO DO IT. But female friends tell me not to. They say i look fine as is. So ... technically you can improve and do worse witht women. Your friends are just being nice. Unless you are already a HUGE dude, I say go for it. Most women prefer big, strong looking guys (duh). My wife used to tell me all the time I was "perfect" at 6'2" 195. I added on about 20 lbs (some muscle, some fat) doing a bulk program for nearly about 6 months and she couldn't keep her hands off of me. Since then, I've lost about 10lbs (cuz I was getting a gut) but she says he likes me bigger with a bit of a gut rather than skinnier, but more lean.
jobaba Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Your friends are just being nice. Unless you are already a HUGE dude, I say go for it. Most women prefer big, strong looking guys (duh). My wife used to tell me all the time I was "perfect" at 6'2" 195. I added on about 20 lbs (some muscle, some fat) doing a bulk program for nearly about 6 months and she couldn't keep her hands off of me. Since then, I've lost about 10lbs (cuz I was getting a gut) but she says he likes me bigger with a bit of a gut rather than skinnier, but more lean. Maybe. My friends like the metrosexual types and are total urbanites so thats what they go for. So i believe them. That also happens to be the type of gal i want. Laid back and doesnt drool over bodies and hot men. But its the only way i can think of to improve. Ive never been overweight.
jobaba Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 I don't agree with this at all. I've had a little bit of a gut before at around 15% body fat and also been around 8% body fat and girls much rather prefer me when I have the abs I'm never going to go above single digit body fat percentage again. There is no point. Most girls love abs first and everything else 2nd (when it comes to physique features) Six pack abs gets in the way of adding mass. Cardio burns muscle gain. Everything is a no win. Hahaha:lmao:
USMCHokie Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 The funny thing is im trying to put on 10 pounds of muscle. I WANT TO DO IT. But female friends tell me not to. They say i look fine as is. So ... technically you can improve and do worse witht women. Maybe. My friends like the metrosexual types and are total urbanites so thats what they go for. So i believe them. That also happens to be the type of gal i want. Laid back and doesnt drool over bodies and hot men. But its the only way i can think of to improve. Ive never been overweight. Disagree. This is just jealousy, insecurity, and a bit of laziness on their part, and your second post kind of verified that for me. People hate on people who have what they don't have, and woman will hate on men (and men hating on women) who have attributes which make them more desirable to other women... Your friends "go for" certain types because those types don't possess what your friends themselves don't possess...they don't want you to improve, because in their eyes, your improvement will cause women who are "better" than them to see you as desirable...life is one big d*ck-measuring contest...men and women alike... Just a thought.
verhrzn Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 They obviously don't want to improve things that badly and would rather complain .......... I'm always looking to improve in every area of my life. I find joy in it. Come on, Tha, you know it isn't like that. Some people just hit a wall, or hit the ceiling, and don't know where to go. I've done everything I can think of to try to improve (work out, wear make-up, get fashion advice) and it hasn't helped. I have tapped out my knowledge and all my resources. When you reach the end of your rope, and there's no where to go, but nothing has changed.... it can be deeply frustrating and demoralizing. Is it really fair to judge or call someone else lazy when you haven't been in their life and experienced their struggles?
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