SteveC80 Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Thats definitely some people..For me im attracted to what im attracted to by no means am i looking for 9's and 10's but id rather be alone the rest of my life then be with somebody i have zero attraction to but be with just because its my supposen "league" That's the dilemna unattractive people face,i couldnt imagine being with someone i have no attraction to physically at all I think alot of blah looking people arent insanely attracted to each other in a lustful way but get married for the emotional support not physical then fantasize about attractive people Sad but true
zengirl Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 (edited) Yea but those hot girl dating problems aren't real dating problems compared to what the men on this forum have experienced They're the equivalent of a rich man being unhappy that his porsche only goes 200 MPH instead of 250 MPH Not really, unless they wanted like 11,000 messages instead of 10,000. It's like the equivalent of a rich man with a porsche being upset that that his parents died when he was a kid and he never got to know them, especially if he hates porches for some reason and sees no value in his. . . . One "success" -- especially a dubious one, by someone else's standards -- doesn't equal success at what you might want in life or happiness or luck, for that matter. ETA: tldr: Just because someone has something YOU think you would value doesn't mean they actually have what they want or that they're wrong for wanting something different in their lives. Edited June 30, 2012 by zengirl 1
zengirl Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 I just can't take somebody complaining about their dating life seriously when they have a million options and are only complaining because they can't find the PERFECT partner First world problems Millions of options for 1st dates doesn't necessarily translate into even 1 option for a meaningful R, especially if it's based on how you look. 1
Pirouette Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 I just can't take somebody complaining about their dating life seriously when they have a million options and are only complaining because they can't find the PERFECT partner First world problems We are all sitting here typing about relationship problems on a keyboard, connected to a computer, plugged into an electrical socket, in a warm, dry, place. All these problems are first world problems.
threebyfate Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 We have all heard it before...a guy's greatest asset for dating is "confidence"...supposedly the surefire way to improve how you are perceived by women, yadda yadda yadda...I'm not really here to discuss the validity of that statement...Confidence isn't a "thing" to acquire. It's a state of mind, an acceptance and knowledge of self within reason, where it can result in different behaviours with different men. It also ensures that a few rejections or bad relationships don't tear you down inside, turning men into whiny, bitter little self-entitled princesses. However, I was curious...what is the woman's equivalent to "confidence" for men...? What is touted as the "key" for women to successfully winning the hearts and minds of men...? Is there one...?Uncertain why any woman needs to win the hearts and minds of many. All that matters is the triple click with one compatible man, of head, heart and body. 2
MaxNoob Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Not really, unless they wanted like 11,000 messages instead of 10,000. It's like the equivalent of a rich man with a porsche being upset that that his parents died when he was a kid and he never got to know them, especially if he hates porches for some reason and sees no value in his. . . . One "success" -- especially a dubious one, by someone else's standards -- doesn't equal success at what you might want in life or happiness or luck, for that matter. From this analogy, it sounds like you have tons of guys asking you out, but you couldn't get or keep the one guy you wanted. Well, as the Rolling Stones said, you can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you get what you need. Whereas an unattractive girl can't get what she wants, what she needs, or anything at all. Feeling heartbroken is bad enough, but to feel completely unwanted on top of that is even worse.
Author USMCHokie Posted June 30, 2012 Author Posted June 30, 2012 Confidence isn't a "thing" to acquire. It's a state of mind, an acceptance and knowledge of self within reason, where it can result in different behaviours with different men. It also ensures that a few rejections or bad relationships don't tear you down inside, turning men into whiny, bitter little self-entitled princesses. I have come to realize the original intent of my inquiry was lost on many...this was not meant to be a discussion of the value or importance of confidence itself, or the validity of confidence as the most valuable attribute...yet somehow it turned into that...again, I stress reading comprehension...perhaps the title of the thread was a bit misleading... All I was asking is whether women have an attribute that men value as much as women seem to value "confidence"... Uncertain why any woman needs to win the hearts and minds of many. All that matters is the triple click with one compatible man, of head, heart and body. Dating is a numbers game. You need to win the hearts and minds of many to find that one. Unless you're going to stick with the first man you win...
threebyfate Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 I have come to realize the original intent of my inquiry was lost on many...this was not meant to be a discussion of the value or importance of confidence itself, or the validity of confidence as the most valuable attribute...yet somehow it turned into that...again, I stress reading comprehension...perhaps the title of the thread was a bit misleading...As if the definition of confidence isn't of the utmost importance to this thread. To airy-fairy a term and then expect people to agree about its impact, makes no sense from a logical perspective. Cart before the ass. All I was asking is whether women have an attribute that men value as much as women seem to value "confidence"...Tits. Satisfied? Dating is a numbers game. You need to win the hearts and minds of many to find that one. Unless you're going to stick with the first man you win...That's the fail. Viewing dating as winning and losing, instead of trying to find a long-term partner. Sure, if you're basing your selection criteria on looks, expect mega-fail after mega-fail. Start looking deeper. 1
Pirouette Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Whereas an unattractive girl can't get what she wants, what she needs, or anything at all. Feeling heartbroken is bad enough, but to feel completely unwanted on top of that is even worse. I think the answer to this is self acceptance, which is a lot like that standby answer of self-confidence. Unnattractive or not, man or woman, we are all searching for meaning and happiness. This has occurred all throughout history and will continue into the future. Some people find it, some people lose it, and some will never get there. Throughout the journey, the only constant you will have is yourself, so if you cannot accept yourself and find some measure of joy in that, you will never find it elsewhere.
Author USMCHokie Posted June 30, 2012 Author Posted June 30, 2012 As if the definition of confidence isn't of the utmost importance to this thread. To airy-fairy a term and then expect people to agree about its impact, makes no sense from a logical perspective. Cart before the ass. Not particularly. I could have replaced "confidence" with anything else...and the question wouldn't have really been affected too drastically...as others have pointed out, we use the term "confidence" as a blanket punchline for dating... Is there such a punchline for women...? Tits. Satisfied? Yes, thank you. That's the fail. Viewing dating as winning and losing, instead of trying to find a long-term partner. Sure, if you're basing your selection criteria on looks, expect mega-fail after mega-fail. Start looking deeper. That's my fault for using a term of art, I suppose. "Winning the hearts and minds" is a punchline we military folk use...it's not meant to imply a game or winning or losing...
luviz2sacrifice Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 I can't agree more with you here. However, the validity of "confidence" as the magic pill isn't really what I'm trying to discuss or figure out, but moreso what the magic pill is for women... Personality....that is all I have to say...
Sugarkane Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 ... I turn toxic when you take a thread that focuses on women, and make it all about "oh poor men," or when you misconstrue my words. I was trying to help by suggesting things that are attractive to women, and all you did was complain. I have never once seen you offer any help to the ugly, lonely women of this forum, so don't be surprised if in the ONE current thread that isn't about "poor men" there isn't a whole lot of sympathy from me. I completely agree. That's what really annoys me about this forum.
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