USMCHokie Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 We have all heard it before...a guy's greatest asset for dating is "confidence"...supposedly the surefire way to improve how you are perceived by women, yadda yadda yadda...I'm not really here to discuss the validity of that statement... However, I was curious...what is the woman's equivalent to "confidence" for men...? What is touted as the "key" for women to successfully winning the hearts and minds of men...? Is there one...?
Quiet Storm Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Her looks. I would also say it's the ability to make HIM feel confident.
tigressA Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Confidence! Seriously. It's the same for everyone. People find those who are secure, positive and confident very, very attractive. No one wants to be around an insecure sad-sack. 7
ThaWholigan Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 I would say sex appeal. Pretty much the same as confidence, but slightly different. When a woman feels sexy and she is comfortable with it, it radiates from her. So even if she isn't a looker, when you're around her, you feel energized, more intimate around her. It can be such a sensation to be around a girl who KNOWS she is sexy. Watching a girl like that move, talk, express herself, every action is just the best. When she supplements that sexiness with character, intelligence, and infuses a little risque into the equation, it's just........... 2
Author USMCHokie Posted June 30, 2012 Author Posted June 30, 2012 Confidence! Seriously. It's the same for everyone. People find those who are secure, positive and confident very, very attractive. No one wants to be around an insecure sad-sack. And I thought about this very answer for a while...I'd like to see what guys say as well about this...do they suggest "confidence" to women as much as women suggest it to men...?
kaylan Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Lets stop being unralistic here. A guys confidence wont overcome too many down falls. Overall we all know looks will work on men and women. The the foot in the door for anyone really. If you look good...plenty of folks will want ya. Confidence is icing on the cake though. I definitely dig a chicks confidence and assertiveness. A womans looks dont equate to a mans confidence. Why? Because an ugly confident dude will not be smashing all the hot babes that he wants. Lets be real. Great looking guys can be shy and still do well with the ladies because girls will throw themselves at him. Equate looks with looks and confidence with confidence.
Author USMCHokie Posted June 30, 2012 Author Posted June 30, 2012 Lets stop being unralistic here. A guys confidence wont overcome too many down falls. Overall we all know looks will work on men and women. The the foot in the door for anyone really. If you look good...plenty of folks will want ya. Confidence is icing on the cake though. I definitely dig a chicks confidence and assertiveness. A womans looks dont equate to a mans confidence. Why? Because an ugly confident dude will not be smashing all the hot babes that he wants. Lets be real. Great looking guys can be shy and still do well with the ladies because girls will throw themselves at him. Equate looks with looks and confidence with confidence. I can't agree more with you here. However, the validity of "confidence" as the magic pill isn't really what I'm trying to discuss or figure out, but moreso what the magic pill is for women...
Bristolius Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Looks of course. Do people not get this? I agree with tigressa. Two identical twins, same hair, same clothes. Let's say they're both pretty. But one is withdrawn and slouchy, she's nervous and awkward. Her sister is open and relaxed. Which one looks better?
todreaminblue Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 We have all heard it before...a guy's greatest asset for dating is "confidence"...supposedly the surefire way to improve how you are perceived by women, yadda yadda yadda...I'm not really here to discuss the validity of that statement... However, I was curious...what is the woman's equivalent to "confidence" for men...? What is touted as the "key" for women to successfully winning the hearts and minds of men...? Is there one...? Serenity is the key....with that comes sensuality that is natural and graceful 1
LittleMissSatin Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 If one sister was ugly but confident, and the other was hot but kinda shy, I still think the shy hot one would get more attention. The ugly one just has to find the one guy willing to take a chance on her but the hot one will have more options. 1
Bristolius Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 If it's about equivalence, I think confidence in men is equal to confidence in women. And looks in women is equal to looks in men. Maybe Hokie is thinking that women aren't often advised to up their confidence the way men are.
verhrzn Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 It is looks. Yeah, confidence helps, but confidence on an ugly girl is just delusion. No reason to examine it further, it's just how life is. 1
Author USMCHokie Posted June 30, 2012 Author Posted June 30, 2012 It is looks. Yeah, confidence helps, but confidence on an ugly girl is just delusion. No reason to examine it further, it's just how life is. Would you say the same applies for guys...?
verhrzn Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Would you say the same applies for guys...? No, because as stated previously, girls' tastes are weird. It's pretty typical for girls to be attracted to power or money, to the point that physical requirements go out the window... there's the rare guy that responds to a powerful or rich woman, but it doesn't have the same pull when genders are reversed. Put it another way: you'll see younger women getting with older men, partially because older men can provide for them. Older women could provide for younger men, and yet it's such a social rareity we actually give the phenomena a nickname. Confidence goes much, much better impressing women than it does men. If nothing else, confidence makes a man approach many more women than he would if he were shy. A confident woman, however, is still tied by social rules restricting her from approaching... while confidence MAY improve her attractiveness level, she still has to be chosen.
jobaba Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 How about this tough. Wussiness and shyness and unmanliness are definitely considered turnoffs by most women. What would be the female characteristics that mirror those in terms of those that turn guys off? Riddle me that! 1
AD1980 Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Ive never hear someone say godamn his or her confidence is so hot Its a pretty fluff cliche word used by people with a pollyana approach to things I know plenty of insecure ddues who get tons of chicks becaude therye good looking
Els Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 I don't think most people believe, or are even saying, that confidence is any sort of 'magic pill'. It's simply one of the things that helps. If there were any such thing as a magic pill for Rs, nobody would have any trouble with them, ever.
Author USMCHokie Posted June 30, 2012 Author Posted June 30, 2012 I don't think most people believe, or are even saying, that confidence is any sort of 'magic pill'. It's simply one of the things that helps. If there were any such thing as a magic pill for Rs, nobody would have any trouble with them, ever. Oh come on, Els...it's the proverbial "magic pill"... :laugh: What is the one thing we see more than anything else when guys come here asking how they can be more attractive to women and successful in dating...? "You gotta have confidence!!" So I simply ask the same question but apply it to women...
verhrzn Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Oh come on, Els...it's the proverbial "magic pill"... :laugh: What is the one thing we see more than anything else when guys come here asking how they can be more attractive to women and successful in dating...? "You gotta have confidence!!" So I simply ask the same question but apply it to women... And what did you make of my assertion that confidence levels in men effect who and how often men approach, thus increasing their chances of success... while the same is NOT true of women.
Author USMCHokie Posted June 30, 2012 Author Posted June 30, 2012 No, because as stated previously, girls' tastes are weird. It's pretty typical for girls to be attracted to power or money, to the point that physical requirements go out the window... there's the rare guy that responds to a powerful or rich woman, but it doesn't have the same pull when genders are reversed. Put it another way: you'll see younger women getting with older men, partially because older men can provide for them. Older women could provide for younger men, and yet it's such a social rareity we actually give the phenomena a nickname. Confidence goes much, much better impressing women than it does men. If nothing else, confidence makes a man approach many more women than he would if he were shy. A confident woman, however, is still tied by social rules restricting her from approaching... while confidence MAY improve her attractiveness level, she still has to be chosen. I actually like this bit of analysis and for the most part agree with your assessment. All of this would suggest that "confidence" is merely a bias for action, that is, a propensity or tendency that someone would approach another person. From that perspective, it is not dependent on the specific attributes of the one approaching...you can be downright ugly and still have "confidence" as long as you approach women... And it would go along with traditional gender roles in society, where men are supposed to be the aggressors..."confidence," as defined above, would only be applicable to men, as women have no need for the inclination to approach...hence confidence is almost irrelevant to a woman...
verhrzn Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 I actually like this bit of analysis and for the most part agree with your assessment. All of this would suggest that "confidence" is merely a bias for action, that is, a propensity or tendency that someone would approach another person. From that perspective, it is not dependent on the specific attributes of the one approaching...you can be downright ugly and still have "confidence" as long as you approach women... And it would go along with traditional gender roles in society, where men are supposed to be the aggressors..."confidence," as defined above, would only be applicable to men, as women have no need for the inclination to approach...hence confidence is almost irrelevant to a woman... Well... I would say confidence DOES play a role for women, when it comes to receiving attention. For example. Guy spots a girl he likes. He approaches her (showing confidence.) She, in turn, is unresponsive, doesn't make eye contact, mumbles, or is overly aggressive in body language or tone. These are all ways women can be insecure (being either shy or too forward.) These non-confident behaviors would probably make a guy less likely to ask for her number. A man's confidence level comes into play at the very beginning of the encounter. A woman's confidence level is engaged after the encounter has begun. So, confidence for men is the bait: it's what makes a girl take notice of you (you approaching her is making her notice you.) Confidence for women is the hook: it's what pulls the guy in.
fucpcg Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 And I thought about this very answer for a while...I'd like to see what guys say as well about this...do they suggest "confidence" to women as much as women suggest it to men...? I don't think you really understand how much it means till you are with someone who totally lacks confidence. I once hooked up with a girl that was a friend of mine for quite some time, worked for me for a couple of years... we had a relationship. One night it turned into hooking up. She kept fighting to turn the lights out. When it was still NOT dark enough for her, she kept trying to cover up her body so I couldn't see it, while we were having sex. Talk about buzz kill. She was a very attractive, very petite girl, who had no business being self concerned. She looked great. However her lack of confidence just killed it for me, that night and from that point moving forward as far as a relationship.
kaylan Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 No, because as stated previously, girls' tastes are weird. It's pretty typical for girls to be attracted to power or money, to the point that physical requirements go out the window... there's the rare guy that responds to a powerful or rich woman, but it doesn't have the same pull when genders are reversed. Put it another way: you'll see younger women getting with older men, partially because older men can provide for them. Older women could provide for younger men, and yet it's such a social rareity we actually give the phenomena a nickname. Confidence goes much, much better impressing women than it does men. If nothing else, confidence makes a man approach many more women than he would if he were shy. A confident woman, however, is still tied by social rules restricting her from approaching... while confidence MAY improve her attractiveness level, she still has to be chosen. But those younger women arent sexually attracted to those older men they use for status. Lets talk about real sexual attraction here. Those younger girls will be more sexually attracted to hot guys their age...or hot guys of any age...not ugly dude they use for money.
Author USMCHokie Posted June 30, 2012 Author Posted June 30, 2012 For example. Guy spots a girl he likes. He approaches her (showing confidence.) She, in turn, is unresponsive, doesn't make eye contact, mumbles, or is overly aggressive in body language or tone. These are all ways women can be insecure (being either shy or too forward.) These non-confident behaviors would probably make a guy less likely to ask for her number. But are these not also behaviors of non-interest...? So, confidence for men is the bait: it's what makes a girl take notice of you (you approaching her is making her notice you.) Confidence for women is the hook: it's what pulls the guy in. So what about physically attractive men...? Their attractiveness alone can certainly be considered "bait"...so how are physical attractiveness and confidence related, if at all...?
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