Quest4_TheLost Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 So I noticed that alot of men date younger women and seems the norm.. But women dating younger guys? Is age diffrence a big issue? If you have things in common enjoy spending time together and both bring somthing to the table, I'm inclined to think not.
Desinova Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 I guessing you haven't heard of the term "cougar"?
Author Quest4_TheLost Posted June 30, 2012 Author Posted June 30, 2012 Yes I've heard of that.. and men are what? perverts?
Desinova Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 I am not following what you are trying to say. You asked if age difference between an older woman and a younger man is a big issue. Well society is becoming more and more accepting of it and it has become popular enough that women who date younger men are now called "cougars".
Author Quest4_TheLost Posted June 30, 2012 Author Posted June 30, 2012 Right the question was if ppl agreed with it or not.. I wasn't asking what it was called if you dated a younger guy lol.. Don't you have to be like 40 to be a cougar? I don't know but I'm trying to decide if I should give it a go.. Also a booty call with a younger guy.. SUUUURE.. But a real relationship? Don't know..
mortensorchid Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 WHen I first started dating in high school, I tended to go for ones who were my age or a bit older. College was the same, then once I got into the outside world, there is another ballgame with kind of an "anything goes" attitude about things. I am now 37. I have been with those who are older than me, and those who are younger. My last serious boyfriend was/is 6 years younger than me, and I honestly did not notice it and I don't think he did either. I know a few gals who as they age are starting to go for guys who are younger. I guess you have to think of the reasons why it is that someone is or isn't doing things. One gal I know is bent on being a Bad Girl, and one of the things that she does is act obnoxious and loud, drink, use drugs, etc. And as of late, she is going out with guys MUCH younger than she is. She's in her 40s, she will never grow up and get responsible. And other gals say they like being with men who are not as experienced, or want to be with guys who have all their hair and haven't given up their bodies to obesity and/or beer guts. We're allowed as women just as much as men are. 2
writergal Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 I don't like dating younger men because I want to be with a man who is financially secure, a homeowner who has a lot of life experience (even children from a previous marriage). Since I'm a 41 year old grad student, I'll have major student loans to repay and so it's not financially wise for me to be with a younger man who I'd have to help support financially which won't happen. Just a brainstormed list of pros and cons. There may be more...*shrug* Cons: Older women's baggage: financial debt, divorce, health problems, financial problems, children from a previous marriage, multiple ex-husbands Social Pressures: friends, family and coworkers can be pretty judgmental about a couple's age gap if the woman is older. Never happens when the man's older but that's society for you. Younger man's baggage: not financially stable, unemployed or early in his career, not a homeowner, not a lot of life experience. Pros: More life experience, more mature. Larger social network. Sexual chemistry: Women sexually peak later in life whereas men peak earlier so the sexual compatibility could be mind blowingly awesome. More financially stable, more equity, homeowner. 1
Author Quest4_TheLost Posted June 30, 2012 Author Posted June 30, 2012 Yea, when you put it like that it seems that the younger guy would be better for a booty call or fwb situation lol.. I guess it depends on the guy aswell.. I'm only 30.. Divorced kids etc.. I keep running into guys my age who have no jobs,cars, lives with their parents etc. To be honest it seems to be harder then ever to actually find a guy who is mature and has his s*** together.. I don't really make a big deal about material possesions or baggage. At this point I think I would settle for a guy that is genuine,loyal,honest and sweet.. I'm not overly concerned about the rest.
writergal Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 I'm too insecure for a FWB situation and too old for a booty call, lol. Yeah, I agree with you about how difficult it is to find the "right" guy these days. 30 is a great age to be. Was a fun year for me. Since you have children, does that make you more selective as far as the type of man you want to date? Would you consider dating older men if the men your age don't interest you? If I'm still single when I'm 50 then I might consider dating a younger man. I have no idea what Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher saw in each other. How awkward for her daughters to be a few years younger than their step-dad. Well more then a few years younger but you know what I mean. 1
Author Quest4_TheLost Posted June 30, 2012 Author Posted June 30, 2012 LOL.. I know right.. Yes I'm very picky about who I date. But I date someone for quite a while before introducing them to my kids. Even then I only introduce them to my kids as a friend.. I have done the fwb thing and of course I've never introduced them to my kids. You can really only do the fwb if its someone you find attractive but have nooooo want of a relationship from them.. Ive never been intrested in the booty call thing.
Sugarkane Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 There's quite the rare case of 20 something Aaron Johnson and his wife who is (at least) twice his age and they've just had their second child I believe.
2.50 a gallon Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 For what it is worth, I am reminded of the story of one of my college friends. I am a first year baby boomer. My friend and his older brother were a year or two older than me. Their father was killed in the closing days of WWII. About 10 years later, his mom at age 29 attracted the attention of a young 19 year old, he persisted and a year later they were married. When they married she was 30, he was 20, and her two kids were 10 and 11. They both passed away a couple of years after celebrating their golden anniversary. 1
writergal Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 For what it is worth, I am reminded of the story of one of my college friends. I am a first year baby boomer. My friend and his older brother were a year or two older than me. Their father was killed in the closing days of WWII. About 10 years later, his mom at age 29 attracted the attention of a young 19 year old, he persisted and a year later they were married. When they married she was 30, he was 20, and her two kids were 10 and 11. They both passed away a couple of years after celebrating their golden anniversary. That's very sweet. But some of us aren't that lucky. I think men in their 40s have this belief that women their same age are "used up" and prefer younger women who they consider more fertile, more appropriate for child rearing. I think its this road block that drives older women to seek younger men who will be blown away by the older woman's life experiences, maturity and financial stability (speaking in general terms here of course), and don't mind if their older woman becomes a mother in her 40s. Look at Mariah Carey and her husband Nick Cannon. Mariah was 41 when she gave birth to their twins. Is it more acceptable when women are celebrities to be with younger men? I wonder about that.
writergal Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 There's quite the rare case of 20 something Aaron Johnson and his wife who is (at least) twice his age and they've just had their second child I believe. Oh yeah I saw that. Her name is Sam Taylor Wood. Aaron Johnson weds Sam Taylor-Wood | Channel24 She's 45 and he's 23. I think when love is right, it's right of course, age be da*ned. But can he provide for her financially? Probably not. She's probably the sole bread winner. Oh and they have two kids which is awesome. Good for them. He's totally gorgeous, wow. 1
writergal Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 I think after a certain time, age really doesn't matter. There is not a big difference between a man who is 28 or 35 or between a man who is 24 and 28 (outside of maybe money) My best friend is 23 and dating a 28 year old and they're happy as could be. Hell, I have friends ranging from 23 to 35 and I just don't see a huge difference in personality among them. Some of them are mature and some them are not and it just totally varies True. Men are immature at any age. But when you're a woman in your 40s like me, you have certain standards for what's acceptable and what's not in a younger partner.
Author Quest4_TheLost Posted June 30, 2012 Author Posted June 30, 2012 I'm sorry for the trolls here.. Someone should keep a better eye on there kids. Wow what an interesting story.. Yea I had a couple of younger guys interested in the dating thing and I've been putting it off. I think my first thought was, what would my family think? But the truth is who cares what anyone else thinks if your happy. Right!?!?
Author Quest4_TheLost Posted June 30, 2012 Author Posted June 30, 2012 Well after being divorced and dating all the losers i've dated. Lets just say I'm really good at making mistakes when it comes to guys. lol My family is old fashioned christians. One of there favorite past times is gossip!
RedRobin Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 (edited) I had a man who was 15 years younger chase me for YEARS. He really was sweet... and need to tell you... totally on top of his life. Made it through the second round of astronaut training school. A 4.0 at the university we both attended (a top 5 school for our discipline). No slouch, physically or intellectually. Unfortunately... I just could never wrap my brain around it. I was convinced I would be just a fling for him or a placeholder. Was quite insecure of me, TBH. He was a real catch. We still keep in touch... he's getting married to soon. After flubbing that experience, I decided to go forward with a relationship to a man 9 years younger. We dated for over a year, but broke up due to things totally unrelated to age. One of my best friends is happily married to a man 9 years younger. They have two children. When they met, they were both in grad school. He finished his PhD a year after she did (she got a late start on hers). He supported her goal to achieve tenure. I don't happen to believe that older men are necessarily better prospects at all... Regarding the term 'cougar'... Seems just another way women are cut down for doing the same things men do and take for granted. Edited June 30, 2012 by RedRobin 2
RedRobin Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 My family is old fashioned christians. One of there favorite past times is gossip! My friend's families are both christians too. They lied to his family about her age or just don't talk about it. They've been married over 10 years now. I suspect they aren't worried about it much anymore...
Author Quest4_TheLost Posted June 30, 2012 Author Posted June 30, 2012 Thanx so much for posting Red!! I loved those stories! I couldn't agree more with the term cougar, its ridiculous.. I think most likley the reason most older women don't date younger guys is like what writergal said.. Alot of them aren't as stable and able to help out as much or take care of their lady. Thats probably why even the younger gals go for the older guys is the stability.. But at this day and age I definetly would say it has nothing to do with maturity as more and more latley. I find older guys being immature and just altogether bitter.. Sex is very important to me aswell though, I won't lie. Those younger guys definetly have the stamina I would want in a guy!
FitChick Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Oh yeah I saw that. Her name is Sam Taylor Wood. Aaron Johnson weds Sam Taylor-Wood | Channel24 She's 45 and he's 23. I think when love is right, it's right of course, age be da*ned. But can he provide for her financially? Probably not. She's probably the sole bread winner. Oh and they have two kids which is awesome. Good for them. He's totally gorgeous, wow. He is just starting out so has his entire life ahead of him to make money. That is one disadvantage of dating a man 50+. A lot of them were laid off due to the economy when it was cheaper to replace them with someone younger. Older men are living on pensions and retirement funds which will shrink with inflation. They are unlikely to find good paying jobs again, so if you date someone in that age bracket, you may wind up supporting him.
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