simpsonic Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 Two nights ago, I met a guy. We chatted for a while and at the end of the night, we exchanged numbers. He told me he would call me the next day. Well, yesterday instead of calling me he sent me a text, asking me if I wanted to go with him to a concert that is taking place in two weeks. I was a bit annoyed that I got a text instead of a call. I have not replied to his text; I feel like if I do, that he would think this kind of behavior is acceptable. But I don't want him to think I'm not interested either. Advice?
Yare Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 Reply to his text with a call...and ask in a subtle kinda of joking way..why didn't he called you instead....tell him you are not much into texting....That's it! If he text you again...then move on 2
writergal Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 You should definitely be annoyed with this guy. Texting you instead of calling? Lame move on his part because it's bad manners since you two just met. You're worth a simple phone call, esp. to be asked out on a date. I"m just curious why you'd still want to go out with a guy whose made it clear you're not worth a phone call. Just consider this text-move a preview of how dating him may possibly be. Otherwise call him back - don't text - and explain to him that you are worth a phone call. You don't have to be rude about it, just make sure he understands that you deserve to be respected. And his texting you to ask you out on a date - not respectful at all. Definitely not.
curlygirl40 Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 Why don't you just say 'sure, I would love to go. Give me a call and we can talk about the details' I do think you're being a bit picky. He's showing interest. He's asking you out. I understand why you wouldn't want to let this all play out via text and would like a phone call, but I don't think answering that text and ignoring it is the way to go either. 1
writergal Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 She's not being picky. Men who are too lazy to call a woman up for a date are inconsiderate. The fact that she'd have to call him back to tell him to call her instead of text is a red flag. I say move on. Plus, he already told her he'd call her but he texted her instead. How can you not see that as rude curlygirl40? Men who make women a priority call them. Men who make women an option, text them instead.
Yare Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 She's not being picky. Men who are too lazy to call a woman up for a date are inconsiderate. The fact that she'd have to call him back to tell him to call her instead of text is a red flag. I say move on. Plus, he already told her he'd call her but he texted her instead. How can you not see that as rude curlygirl40? Men who make women a priority call them. Men who make women an option, text them instead. Oh come on! It's not that serious! She only met him two nights ago, she shouldn't be his priority... OP just let him know that you are not into texting, if you date him and you see his only way of communicating with you is through texting, then do not bother with him...He maybe text you first cause he was nervous, but after you go out on date with him, he should feel more comfortable with you..enough to call you 2
Necromancer Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 She's not being picky. Men who are too lazy to call a woman up for a date are inconsiderate. The fact that she'd have to call him back to tell him to call her instead of text is a red flag. I say move on. Plus, he already told her he'd call her but he texted her instead. How can you not see that as rude curlygirl40? Men who make women a priority call them. Men who make women an option, text them instead. Get of your high horse and stop taking life so seriously, we both won´t make it out alive. 1
MrCastle Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 In my opinion you're being incredibly picky over nothing. It's 2012. People text; that's what they do.
writergal Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 (edited) lol well I don't care that its 2012. What's happened to dating etiquette anyway? Just because texting exists, doesn't mean that's an appropriate way to ask someone out on a date. Besides you agree with me that if the guy uses texting as communication that she should drop him and move on. So you agree with me that texting is a lame way to communicate. Seriously guys, if you use texts to ask a woman out on a first date, you're lame. Women deserve a phone call. No excuses. Edited June 29, 2012 by writergal
FitChick Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 Call and say you'd like to go. Why miss seeing a free concert? If you like him, every time he texts you in the future, answer with a call, not a text He might get the hint.
Feelsgoodman Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 Two nights ago, I met a guy. We chatted for a while and at the end of the night, we exchanged numbers. He told me he would call me the next day. Well, yesterday instead of calling me he sent me a text, asking me if I wanted to go with him to a concert that is taking place in two weeks. I was a bit annoyed that I got a text instead of a call. I have not replied to his text; I feel like if I do, that he would think this kind of behavior is acceptable. But I don't want him to think I'm not interested either. Advice? Why is sending a text "unacceptable" behavior? When I say that I'll call someone, it means that I will contact that person via telephone...it could be a call or a text, who cares? I swear, some women make it damn near impossible for themselves to date. They go out of their way to get offended by the most insignificant of things. "He said he would call but is texting instead...ooooh, unacceptable behavior!!!" WTF 2
FitChick Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 I swear, some women make it damn near impossible for themselves to date. They go out of their way to get offended by the most insignificant of things. Same goes for men, i.e. "She said her favorite color was red but she's only wearing blue in her photos. If she lied about that, she'll lie about everything!" 1
Feelsgoodman Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 Same goes for men, i.e. "She said her favorite color was red but she's only wearing blue in her photos. If she lied about that, she'll lie about everything!" LOL...I don't know any guys who think like that.
FitChick Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 LOL...I don't know any guys who think like that. Cuz you don't date men!
RedRobin Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 Men who make women a priority call them. Men who make women an option, text them instead. I agree with this 100%. I call it the 'Olive Garden Syndrome'... The waiter/waitress comes over to offer cheese or ground pepper on your unlimited salad to leave the APPEARANCE of service. When, in reality, Olive Garden is nothing more than jazzed up cafeteria food. Without the introduction of the cheese/pepper service, more people would be left with that impression. Same goes for texting. It leaves the impression that communication has actually happened.... not to mention... oh so easy to do with numerous people simultaneously... hence freeing up one's spare time to 'option' many people. 3
MrCastle Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 She's not being picky. Men who are too lazy to call a woman up for a date are inconsiderate. The fact that she'd have to call him back to tell him to call her instead of text is a red flag. I say move on. Plus, he already told her he'd call her but he texted her instead. How can you not see that as rude curlygirl40? Men who make women a priority call them. Men who make women an option, text them instead. I don't call anyone, man, or woman, for anything. The only time is if I have something to say that is too long to text, or i'm meeting up with friends and I call them to ask where they are so I know where to meet them. It's never costed me any dates. If it did, I'd consider myself lucky. I would not fare well with a girl who got upset that I texted her and didn't call.
RedRobin Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 I don't call anyone, man, or woman, for anything. The only time is if I have something to say that is too long to text, or i'm meeting up with friends and I call them to ask where they are so I know where to meet them. It's never costed me any dates. If it did, I'd consider myself lucky. I would not fare well with a girl who got upset that I texted her and didn't call. seeing how you've said in other threads that you aren't looking for anything serious, then that would tend to support the notion that texts enforce the 'options' outlook... not the 'relationship' outlook. 1
Author simpsonic Posted June 29, 2012 Author Posted June 29, 2012 Why is sending a text "unacceptable" behavior? When I say that I'll call someone, it means that I will contact that person via telephone...it could be a call or a text, who cares? I swear, some women make it damn near impossible for themselves to date. They go out of their way to get offended by the most insignificant of things. "He said he would call but is texting instead...ooooh, unacceptable behavior!!!" WTF It's not the texting itself that was unacceptable. Texting is ok if you're running late or whatever. What bothered me was that after he specifically told me he was going to call, he did not do that. Calling and texting are not the same things. I guess I'm just concerned that I'll be treated casually throughout the course of our dating should I decide to pursue it. I've had several guys ask me out over text, I would text back saying yes, and texting was the only way they all communicated with me. None of them had the guts to pick up the phone and call even months after we started dating. In my opinion that's just lazy. 1
RedRobin Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 It's not the texting itself that was unacceptable. Texting is ok if you're running late or whatever. What bothered me was that after he specifically told me he was going to call, he did not do that. Calling and texting are not the same things. I guess I'm just concerned that I'll be treated casually throughout the course of our dating should I decide to pursue it. I've had several guys ask me out over text, I would text back saying yes, and texting was the only way that all communicated with me. None of them had the guts to pick up the phone and call even months after we started dating. In my opinion that's just lazy. I've seen the same kind of behavior. The bigger issue is that he SAID he would do one thing, and is doing another. If I were you, I wouldn't respond to his text. Simple as that. Wait for him to call. If he doesn't call, then it's no big deal. He's just another guy who chose not to do what he said he would do. 2
Feelsgoodman Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 Cuz you don't date men! Sounds like you dated someone who was clinically paranoid..
MrCastle Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 seeing how you've said in other threads that you aren't looking for anything serious, then that would tend to support the notion that texts enforce the 'options' outlook... not the 'relationship' outlook. Okay, yeah. I'll concede to that. I don't do the exclusive relationship "thing". I suppose I would talk to my exclusive girlfriend on the phone. But we're talking about dates. This girl doesn't know the guy at all; they're not thinking LTR at this point, just feeling each other out. 1
Feelsgoodman Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 I've seen the same kind of behavior. The bigger issue is that he SAID he would do one thing, and is doing another. If I were you, I wouldn't respond to his text. Simple as that. Wait for him to call. If he doesn't call, then it's no big deal. He's just another guy who chose not to do what he said he would do. A woman invited me for dinner once. She said she was going to cook steak but prepared meatloaf instead. I guess, by your logic, I should have left in disgust because she SAID she would do one thing a did another
writergal Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 It's never costed me any dates. If it did, I'd consider myself lucky. Never cost you any first dates. Sure. I would not fare well with a girl who got upset that I texted her and didn't call. No you wouldn't because you don't make women a priority, but an option. I get the sense that you really don't have much respect for women.
Feelsgoodman Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 I guess I'm just concerned that I'll be treated casually throughout the course of our dating should I decide to pursue it. I've had several guys ask me out over text, I would text back saying yes, and texting was the only way they all communicated with me. None of them had the guts to pick up the phone and call even months after we started dating. In my opinion that's just lazy. It sounds like you are insecure about being used for sex and that insecurity is causing you to overanalyze everything and find hidden meaning where none exits. Guys prefer texting because, from our standpoint, chatting on the phone is a waste of time. 1
Recommended Posts