4givrnt4gtr Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 (edited) So...I was having a conversation with my boyfriend tonight, whom ive been seeing for the past two months. In the conversation i told him how impressed I had been with a situation where he went ahead and did what he wanted to do, which relates to a hobby of his (which could, to some people seem awkward and well...uncool) without giving much mind to what people around thought. I thought that was awesome and showed a lot of confidence. In any case I said that to him and he said he wonder when he was going to see me in my "element", and said that perhaps he could follow me around at work and see how I am there. So I asked for clarification and he said that he is looking forward to know the rest of me ...uh...the...rest? So I told him that pretty much what he has seen its...well..it....but it got me thinking... And I remembered that an ex boyfriend would also make similar comments...about how he felt he didnt know "all" of me, and how he wanted me to share more of me....and it perplexed me just as much then as it does now. Im not really sure what that means. It makes me wonder if Im supposed to be this complicated person, with like...weird habits or hobbies or such...if this is what they are expecting. Im pretty laid back, with simple likes and hardly any hobbies, except for my pets, running on a good knee day, and reading, though these days with school, thats just almost impossible. These two guys, in comparison have very clear, delineated hobbies. One, for instance, was an avid listener of NPR, watched The daily show religiously, read voraciously, and had distinctive musical tastes... My current boyfriend has similar types of preferences. He loves photography and is quite good at it, reads, also, voraciously, and has a very definitive (and discriminative!) taste in music. SO Im wondering if they both wanted me to have stuff like these as well...and, in the case of the ex, could have been a reason why the relationship did not worked out (sometimes I felt he thought I was boring). Has anyone ever been asked these questions? if so, what do you guys make of it? Edited June 29, 2012 by 4givrnt4gtr
Philosoraptor Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 I think when someone wants to know all of you they want to know the "why" rather than the "what". A desire to learn what makes you tick and what causes you to make some of the decisions you make throughout life. In my opinion it seems that he wants a nice heart to heart to figure out who you are inside. 1
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted June 29, 2012 Author Posted June 29, 2012 Thanks for the response Philosoraptor (awesome name btw) I dont know though...i think he meant more about wanting to know what my hobbies are etc.... Actually as I was writing that post last night I realized that what these two guys have in common is that they are very...structured? per say? Like...they have these two or three interestests and they know everything there is to know about it, engage in it obsessively and basically, their free time revolves around them. I on the other hand, tend to be more...fluid? I guess? as in I have many many interests, but I dont engage in them consistently, or make them a big piece of my life. So when he asked me about my "element" all I could think of is...uh...you mean..my life? lol I dont know, I hope that difference isn't too hard for him to understand (though honestly, i just figured it out...for the longest time I thought something was wrong with me). In any case....I guess I could explain that to him and he hopefully can give up the idea that there MUST be more of me than what he sees
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