Gold Pile Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 I blacked out for moment after I landed on the picnic table. It would have been a good jump from the window but my tail got caught on something. A bunch of 20-somethings at the window were laughing at me, threatening me, and calling me Old guy. A few hours earlier I was a dateless guy striking out with the Motel cleaning women. No action at the pool either. I settled in for a solo evening in my lonely motel room. Then I saw a bunch of oddly dressed folks entering a house down the street..... it was a costume party! A quick web search revealed there was an Iparty type store 10 miles away. On the way I purchased two 6-packs of beer just before the packy closed. I picked the cowardly lion as my costume. I noted that the party people were less than half my age, rather than be a victim of age discrimination, I chose a costume that hid my age. It was a pretty warm outfit, so I ditched the furry pants for a pair of my favorite shorts. The tail (as I would later regret) was attached to the top portion. I was welcomed into the party without a hitch. Young adults are funny today. Many were moving light sticks around, they seemed fascinated by any moving lights. I set about groping the ladies, and I wasn't the only one...good times! I spied a young lady peering out a 3rd floor window, she was staring at headlights on the road. Some punk beat me to her. In a very deep voice he said "hey Katie" . She melted into his arms and started making out. Soon a Blonde approached and punched him in the arm and stormed off, he followed. I entered the semi dark room and in my deepest voice said "hey Katie". It was an instant turn on for her. I kept her facing the window. Things got hotter and hotter. We did the doggie deed . later as she was reaching for the light switch, I made a prompt exit. My mask was ajar and revealing my 50% grey beard. 2 women started shouting "old guy! old guy, the cowardly lion is an old guy! As I ran downstairs I could hear the word spreading that the lion was an old guy. "so what?!" was the only defense I offered. I reached a 1st floor window with a mob of hostile creeps in tow. I jumped.... I managed to get up from the pile of shattered wood that used to be a rotted old picnic table. Some of the hostile punk guys were running toward me. I flipped them off and started hobbling away. For the first time I was in real trouble this night. Like angels from heaven 2 cops burst into the back-yard. The punks heeded their commands to halt, I kept hobbling away. The cops must have found the site of a runaway injured guy/lion in shorts to be funny. i could hear them laughing as they gave up pursuit. Half a block away I ditched the costume and walked back to my motel room. I have a few bumps and bruises but all in all it was worth it. How often does a guy my age find a woman half his age that wants to do it with him.
Wink Tobasco Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 The girl was on X. You had sex with her on false pretenses, she thought you were the younger guy. That was your plan when you imitated him while hiding in that stupid costume. It was a dumb plan that only worked because she was stoned on X Its one thing to crash a party, it's another thing to trick her into sex.
Emilia Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 The girl was on X. You had sex with her on false pretenses, she thought you were the younger guy. That was your plan when you imitated him while hiding in that stupid costume. It was a dumb plan that only worked because she was stoned on X Its one thing to crash a party, it's another thing to trick her into sex. I'm close to Gold Pile's age so I understand where he is coming from. Sometimes the only way for us oldies to get laid is by tricking the young ones into it. 1
kaylan Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 Wow...creepy and weird as hell. Dont do dumb crap like that...esp with a girl whos on drugs, because she can easily drum up a rape charge if her and her friends wants to.
Author Gold Pile Posted June 29, 2012 Author Posted June 29, 2012 I expected some sympathy here. I was the victim of age discrimination. Hiding my age wih a costume isn't a trick anymore than someone wearing make-up or using hair color. You can fault me for crashing a party, but that is a very minor offense. I love costume parties. I'm usually a gentleman to a fault, a party like this lets me loosen up and have fun. Too bad Costume Parties are so rare. I'll have to learn about this "X" stuff. It's NOT a date-rape drug, right? This young lady (about 22) was vey vocal with words like "harder" and "don't stop", and "right there" I was kind enough in attempting to preserve her illusions about me, I did scurry out B4 she turned on the lights.
Wink Tobasco Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 She tought you were someone else, you decieved her while she was under the influence. You don't get sympathy, you should get jail time
Emilia Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 She tought you were someone else, you decieved her while she was under the influence. You don't get sympathy, you should get jail time But she doesn't know she had sex with the wrong guy. Why does it matter then?
Author Gold Pile Posted June 30, 2012 Author Posted June 30, 2012 She tought you were someone else, you decieved her while she was under the influence. You don't get sympathy, you should get jail time They should get jail time for age discrimination and practically tossing me out the window. Thanks Emilia for your support 1
fishtaco Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Entertaining. Assuming this is a true story, even though it is in bad form, and something I personally wouldn't do -- I'm 41, I qualify as an old guy; I have to say the girl was looking to hook up. Some women get drunk/stoned so they can have NSA sex guilt free. Plus there are plenty of bad fathers out there creating the next generation of women with daddy issues, that there's no need for us old guys to don the cowardly lion costume to get laid.
Author Gold Pile Posted June 30, 2012 Author Posted June 30, 2012 Entertaining............................ Plus there are plenty of bad fathers out there creating the next generation of women with daddy issues, that there's no need for us old guys to don the cowardly lion costume to get laid. I wish I would run into more of such women
ThingsAreComplicated Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 I wish I would run into more of such women I wish the opposite lol 1
Bristolius Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 I've tried telling young girls that I'm not old, I'm just really sick. But that doesn't seem to work very well. I never thought about using a costume. Girls like vampires don't they? Or does it have to be a lion?
Author Gold Pile Posted July 1, 2012 Author Posted July 1, 2012 I've tried telling young girls that I'm not old, I'm just really sick. But that doesn't seem to work very well. I never thought about using a costume. Girls like vampires don't they? Or does it have to be a lion? Of course the cowardly lion is pretty cute, but the idea is any costume that hides your age will work. I use pumpkin and Santa costumes at those Holidays. They are the one 2 times I can count on a costume party.
Sid6.7 Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 (edited) Mr. Pile. May I call you Mr. Pile? I really like that better because it has such an earthy sound to it. Much like a Pile I once knew, I really liked him, I think you should like him too. It turns out I was at the very costume party you attended. I was the Chick-fil-A cow.You do know the Chick-fil-A cow, right? You may have seen my spots as brilliant as they were. Their morning biscuits are heavenly. A morning treat to be desired among many of us. If there was an apocalypse tomorrow those biscuits would be used as currency. A valuable trade good. I must say I am now embarrassed because I saw the cowardly lion costume someone was wearing and I must tell you, well, it turned me on. There is nothing more sexy than the mane that flows from the cowardly lion. It was exhilarating, put 'em up - put 'em up! Oh, the excitement! As it turns out it must have been you and this is the cause of my embarrassment. You see, I always thought the cowardly lion was in fact a Lioness. Much to my dismay I was quickly educated when I saw you wander off with Katie and realized the Lioness was in fact a lesbian. Oh, how I wept. The tears were so great they streamed down my costume and to my udders. I was quickly escorted out under the accusation of urinating on the carpet. How rude! So all I could do was jump up and down outside screaming Katie, KATIE! While looking up at the third floor window in hopes to dissuade my previous notions and squelch the idea that the cowardly lion was a lesbian. Because of your story I now know that the cowardly lion is not a lesbian and I still have a chance at the glowing mane that so adorns my heart and the chance to once have my dreams fulfilled with the cowardly lion. Edited July 1, 2012 by Sid6.7
Author Gold Pile Posted July 1, 2012 Author Posted July 1, 2012 :Mr. Pile. May I call you Mr. Pile? I really like that better because it has such an earthy sound to it. Much like a Pile I once knew, I really liked him, I think you should like him too. It turns out I was at the very costume party you attended. I was the Chick-fil-A cow.You do know the Chick-fil-A cow, right? You may have seen my spots as brilliant as they were. Their morning biscuits are heavenly. A morning treat to be desired among many of us. If there was an apocalypse tomorrow those biscuits would be used as currency. A valuable trade good. I must say I am now embarrassed because I saw the cowardly lion costume someone was wearing and I must tell you, well, it turned me on. There is nothing more sexy than the mane that flows from the cowardly lion. It was exhilarating, put 'em up - put 'em up! Oh, the excitement! As it turns out it must have been you and this is the cause of my embarrassment. You see, I always thought the cowardly lion was in fact a Lioness. Much to my dismay I was quickly educated when I saw you wander off with Katie and realized the Lioness was in fact a lesbian. Oh, how I wept. The tears were so great they streamed down my costume and to my udders. I was quickly escorted out under the accusation of urinating on the carpet. How rude! So all I could do was jump up and down outside screaming Katie, KATIE! While looking up at the third floor window in hopes to dissuade my previous notions and squelch the idea that the cowardly lion was a lesbian. Because of your story I now know that the cowardly lion is not a lesbian and I still have a chance at the glowing mane that so adorns my heart and the chance to once have my dreams fulfilled with the cowardly lion. I feel violated:(
Author Gold Pile Posted July 3, 2012 Author Posted July 3, 2012 your a ****face That's mighty unpleasant of you. why?
fishtaco Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 I've tried telling young girls that I'm not old, I'm just really sick. But that doesn't seem to work very well. I never thought about using a costume. Girls like vampires don't they? Or does it have to be a lion? I heard the latest generation of vampires sparkle under the sun. You have to keep up with the times.
sam light Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 People die their hair, get implants, wear griddles and bras, and make-up. I don't see why a costume is any more deceptive. U have a thumbs up from me.
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