Sunderland Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 Thanks in advanced for reading. Especially hoping for a reply from the wise and experience posters on here. I'm hoping to instigate discussion on us who have been dumped (or who have dumped). I have been on this forum before with my story, and I disappeared for a while. Turns out we got back together and what people predicted turned out to be true - reconciliation generally doesn't last too long. I got back with my girlfriend for four months. I didn't see it lasting long but I still loved my baby. It became very difficult and we both agreed to break up. Initially I felt absolutely fine and relieved. That didn't last long. I messaged her and was pretty much rejected, and cell number blocked soon after. Since then I have been tossing and turning and all over the damn place, the usual stuff we go through. I sent a message a week ago wishing her the best and everything - no reply. To cut to the chase - I know I could do better, I know I deserve better (based on things I won't write here). But I still feel that I love her. I really, really miss her. But... I do feel there is some addiction going on, that I want some contact, any contact to get a fix. I have a vague plan in my head that I will contact her in a month or so. Why would I do that? How do I know whether its worth fighting for? I could overlook some of the things - none of us are perfect. How do know that you should move on? How come I was happy we were over, and then depressed when I was rejected? How do I move on from something that I KNOW isn't good for me, yet I cannot seem to be happy without... Thanks for reading everyone. 2
Strawbs Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 I feel from what you have said this relationship has definitely run its course. You broke up, got back together and broke up again. And now you are looking back with rose tinted glasses and focusing on all the wrong things. You were relieved when you broke up but didnt take positive steps to do anything to get yourself back on track, so you had too much time on your hands, i.e. the time you would have normally spent with her. Its the rejection you are finding hard to cope with and I get that, most of us do. And when a relationship ends you will of course grieve for it. You put your heart into making it work and now you feel deflated and tired. You are struggling to let go because you are concentrating too much on her. You need to work on yourself, figure out who you are on your own now. Write a list of reasons its great to be single and repeat them to yourself every day - several times a day. Do something/somethings that you wouldnt be able to do if you were not single. You're self confidence is low because you feel rejected so you need to work on that, pick 3 things you like about yourself and look yourself in the eye and say i have nice .... every chance you get. Pick 3 things you could improve on and work on them - Its time and energy you can spend whick will help you focus on other things and have time out from thinking about the past. These things sound far fetched but they work, while your talking to a mirror you may well feel like a twat but these little affirmations will sink into your sub concious and you will believe them. "Fake it, till you Make it". Do not contact her, she has made her feelings clear, and even if she answers and begs you back, what good would come of that? You dont work together and you know this!! You want to contact her because you're lonely and because you arent ready to go through the whole meeting someone knew yet, she knows you and you miss being around someone who knows you so you feel she would be able to comfort you, and she might well do that - for a while, then you are back at square 1 and you will still have to deal with how you feel now, you are better facing it head on now because you are already on your way. As i said above you are not ready to meet anyone new, so you really need to get to know yourself now and start learning to love yourself as a person. Build yourself up emotionally so that 1) You will in time be emotionally ready to meet the right person. 2) That every little thing she does wont hurt you. You need to stop analysing and wondering 'what if', Build yourself up so in future if things dont work you know its not because your not a great person. Hope things get better x 5
SerCay Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 To cut to the chase - I know I could do better, I know I deserve better (based on things I won't write here). But I still feel that I love her. I really, really miss her. But... I do feel there is some addiction going on, that I want some contact, any contact to get a fix. I have a vague plan in my head that I will contact her in a month or so. Why would I do that? How do I know whether its worth fighting for? I could overlook some of the things - none of us are perfect. How do know that you should move on? How come I was happy we were over, and then depressed when I was rejected? How do I move on from something that I KNOW isn't good for me, yet I cannot seem to be happy without... Hi Sunderland, Welcome here. I can relate to what you're saying. Especially the quoted part. What I found out about myself after being in the same situation as you dewcribe above, I started doing research simply because i was driving myself nuts. I found out I am a love addict. Let me copy some symptoms for you here.. Love Addiction - obsessive and pathological relationships. This is just an example of a site with info. So what I found out shocked me. I used to be happy to be over with it when it was over, then make a plan to get him back because ''oops I was happy after all'' and then feel very, very depressed when rejected. For me, the game of on/off could go on forever.. it had to do with my internal cycles. weird huh lol. Anyway, let me know if you relate! I'm very curious
tryingtodiscoveranew Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 This is just an example of a site with info. So what I found out shocked me. I used to be happy to be over with it when it was over, then make a plan to get him back because ''oops I was happy after all'' and then feel very, very depressed when rejected. For me, the game of on/off could go on forever.. it had to do with my internal cycles. weird huh lol. Hey Sercay, I plan on reading what you discovered. But, before I do, I must mention that I went through the same feelings and actions as you did. The happy/sad on/off cycle. And I read about ego and low self-esteem from a poster on LS. I could relate to it so well. I discovered that I did break up with my girl because I was not fulfilled, but when she didn't chase me, my low self-esteem caused me to beg her to take me back. Leading to once again eventually breaking up, only to beg to come back. I believe it also fed my ego when she would finally show emotion during the break-up (she wouldn't show hardly any when we were together...which I did not like). I finally felt important to her. As though losing me would break her heart. 1
SerCay Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 I believe it also fed my ego when she would finally show emotion during the break-up (she wouldn't show hardly any when we were together...which I did not like). I finally felt important to her. As though losing me would break her heart. Hi ttdan, Yes this is what it's all about. Low self esteem causes us to be looking for constant reassurance from the outside. So when we're in a relationship, that's the source. When we feel the source is backing in reassurance, our cycle comes up and we need a load of reassurance. For Narcissists this is called narcissistic supply, for lowself esteem or love addict (usually going together with low self esteem) it's called reassurance. I'm sorry your relationship suffered from this. I feel your pain because mine did too. For in my situation, if I had healthy self esteem I wouldn't have stayed with him from the beginning. Despite this, I stayed but also constantly sabotaged it in ways as you mentioned happened in your situation! Sucks to find out.. but it's a lesson you take with you and you truly do become a more experienced person..In the future I will never let myelf sabotage any relationship like this:o
Author Sunderland Posted June 29, 2012 Author Posted June 29, 2012 I'm truly thankful for your replies, all of you. Hi Sunderland, Welcome here. I can relate to what you're saying. Especially the quoted part. What I found out about myself after being in the same situation as you dewcribe above, I started doing research simply because i was driving myself nuts. I found out I am a love addict. Let me copy some symptoms for you here.. Love Addiction - obsessive and pathological relationships. This is just an example of a site with info. So what I found out shocked me. I used to be happy to be over with it when it was over, then make a plan to get him back because ''oops I was happy after all'' and then feel very, very depressed when rejected. For me, the game of on/off could go on forever.. it had to do with my internal cycles. weird huh lol. Anyway, let me know if you relate! I'm very curious Hello. Thanks for your reply. I'm no stranger to this subject and I read through your link (link broken but I got cached version from Google). I tick MANY of those boxes. Yeah, its extremely shocking but at least we both know that there are issues and I have no doubt you will look to rectify them. Where did it all go wrong, eh? I was in another relationship (if you could even call it that) and it was the same symptoms. All in all, we obviously have some work to do on our self-esteem. I thought I was on the right track then I got into another relationship. I guess I need more than a year of being single... I feel from what you have said this relationship has definitely run its course. You broke up, got back together and broke up again. And now you are looking back with rose tinted glasses and focusing on all the wrong things. You were relieved when you broke up but didnt take positive steps to do anything to get yourself back on track, so you had too much time on your hands, i.e. the time you would have normally spent with her. Its the rejection you are finding hard to cope with and I get that, most of us do. And when a relationship ends you will of course grieve for it. You put your heart into making it work and now you feel deflated and tired. Hope things get better x Well thank you so much for your reply. Did you sign up just to respond? Reading your post made my day and I will probably read it over and over. I agree with you, its just so hard still. If she called me tomorrow I'd probably run to her in a heartbeat. Why do I want that for myself? God, I just feel like there is a brick wall in front of me, I know how to tear it down its just I can't. I wish I could kick through it and move on. I have to admit, there is a big part of me that wants to try contacting again - but I know its ****ing stupid and in the long run means nothing. I am crazy to get that temporary fix. But I won't. I won't disrespect myself and the replies on this thread. I just posted to get it off my chest. I am rambling. Everything you have said it 100% correct. I did have way too much time on my hands and that REALLY doesn't help. I will continue to keep myself busy and do my best. I would like an opinion or advise on taking control and shutting myself off from this awful past. Do not hesitate to share your story too if you have one! Hi ttdan, Yes this is what it's all about. Low self esteem causes us to be looking for constant reassurance from the outside. So when we're in a relationship, that's the source. When we feel the source is backing in reassurance, our cycle comes up and we need a load of reassurance. For Narcissists this is called narcissistic supply, for lowself esteem or love addict (usually going together with low self esteem) it's called reassurance. I'm sorry your relationship suffered from this. I feel your pain because mine did too. For in my situation, if I had healthy self esteem I wouldn't have stayed with him from the beginning. Despite this, I stayed but also constantly sabotaged it in ways as you mentioned happened in your situation! Sucks to find out.. but it's a lesson you take with you and you truly do become a more experienced person..In the future I will never let myelf sabotage any relationship like this:o Thats my life in a damn nutshell. Do you have an alternative solution to fix these issues? I have read all of the advice but a lot of it is very cliche. Would be good to hear some of your views. But that is exactly how I have been the last few years, consistently looking for assurance. Sad.
SerCay Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 Thats my life in a damn nutshell. Do you have an alternative solution to fix these issues? I have read all of the advice but a lot of it is very cliche. Would be good to hear some of your views. But that is exactly how I have been the last few years, consistently looking for assurance. Sad. Yeah the online advices are very cliche and not really explaining the root of the problem. I bought a book and found out what exactly went wrong. It has a lot to do with childhood issues, how cliche that sounds, it's true though. The more i read, the more I came to realize that I had sabotaged all mys erious relationships in the same way..(I've had 3 relationships, all ended after 2 years, for no real reason, for as far as I was concerned until I found out about the love addiction) The book was written by pia mellody and it's called facing love addictions. It's not really expensive and very easy to read. Be careful though, it may sound weird but you will have to re-invent yourselfand get to know who YOU are after reading this. How did I come to do research to find this? Because after my 3rd relationship ended, I was fed up with myself and the weird cycles as you are having right now. It seemed that my feelings were NEVER consistent. So I wanted to know what was causing this. Hope this helps..don't hesitate to PM me if you have any questions 1
tryingtodiscoveranew Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 The book was written by pia mellody and it's called facing love addictions. It's not really expensive and very easy to read. Be careful though, it may sound weird but you will have to re-invent yourselfand get to know who YOU are after reading this. I am in the process of checking this book out. I just want to say that this thread is truly an eye-opener. And it feels amazing to correspond with people who have dealt with the same issue. It put a smile on my face, when you (SerCay) wrote that you "feel my pain"! I don't think anyone has ever truly understood what I was going through. Even people who know about my childhood (dealing with neglect), wondered why I still act this way in relationships since the neglect is no longer as bad from my parents. But, unfortunately I haven't been able to just change my entire way being in response to my current relationship with my parents. Childhood truly seems to lay down the foundation. I can honestly, say I have never felt fulfilled/happy in any romantic relationship that I've been in. I chose to date people based on how they were on the outside. For example, the people I dated were ideal on paper, but if you were to turn them inside out, they were exactly what I didn't need. My last gf came from a cold family. They did not express emotion, or show affection. So, when I needed to feel how much she loved me, she could only show it with little material things. Now that I think about it, I tried to focus on her looks and put all my energy into being content with that. I enjoyed her physical beauty (and also having arm candy at times). This explains why on days that she would not look her best, I always doubted our relationship and wondered how I could get out of it. I remember once when we were broken up, I actually prayed that I could fall in love with her (the person that she is). So, that when I begged for her to take me back this time, I would actually stay and break this crazy cycle! Can you guys relate to any of this? What was your childhood like?
SerCay Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 I am in the process of checking this book out. I just want to say that this thread is truly an eye-opener. And it feels amazing to correspond with people who have dealt with the same issue. It put a smile on my face, when you (SerCay) wrote that you "feel my pain"! I don't think anyone has ever truly understood what I was going through. Even people who know about my childhood (dealing with neglect), wondered why I still act this way in relationships since the neglect is no longer as bad from my parents. But, unfortunately I haven't been able to just change my entire way being in response to my current relationship with my parents. Childhood truly seems to lay down the foundation. I can honestly, say I have never felt fulfilled/happy in any romantic relationship that I've been in. I chose to date people based on how they were on the outside. For example, the people I dated were ideal on paper, but if you were to turn them inside out, they were exactly what I didn't need. My last gf came from a cold family. They did not express emotion, or show affection. So, when I needed to feel how much she loved me, she could only show it with little material things. Now that I think about it, I tried to focus on her looks and put all my energy into being content with that. I enjoyed her physical beauty (and also having arm candy at times). This explains why on days that she would not look her best, I always doubted our relationship and wondered how I could get out of it. I remember once when we were broken up, I actually prayed that I could fall in love with her (the person that she is). So, that when I begged for her to take me back this time, I would actually stay and break this crazy cycle! Can you guys relate to any of this? What was your childhood like? I'm glad it's of help to you ! For the thing of trying to get people to understand you, they won't. They won't understand why you're constantly in a cycle of push and pull, like and dislike, break up make up, etc. What happened with my best friends is that they eventually stopped listening. When I told them the last time we ''really broke up'' this time, their reaction was: ah..in 2 weeks you'll be back together. Weird thing is, this time it was over for real and I had been telling them the same stories so often that they just didn't believe in it! At first I was pissed at their indifference..then after some time I realised that I had been telling the same story for about 2 years, of course they wouldn't believe it. So all I'm trying to say is, no matter how much you talk to others about your relationship issues, they will never understand, and if they do, it's an understanding based on their own experiences. What I've learned; rely on yourself, don't put others up with your stories and NEVER ask another person what you should do as a next step in a relationship situation. What was my childhood like? Parents that were fighting all the time..causing me to being raised by my aunt > causing me not knowing what a healthy relationship looks like. And yes yes yesss, I too always have fallen for people their outsides and then tried to flip the inside towards something I would live with, of course never succeeding. Very shallow, I always wanted my bf's to look handsome to be able to ''match my beauty''. Very stupid of course..because it's about how well you get along and not how handsome or pretty your ''armcandy'' is for the world to see. This is a common trait in love addiction as you will read in that book.
Exit Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Great discussing going on in here. Self esteem is one of the huuuuuge issues I've finally realized was plaguing my relationships all along. Count me in as one of the people who has been addicted to the battle for reassurance from other people. I've never loved myself so man is it addicting when someone else can love me instead. I think this is why you start to question the relationship again, things like "how do I know it's not worth fighting for? Nobody is perfect. Maybe we should try again". If you take those words out of context it almost sounds like a drug addict who has been sober for a while and now they're trying to rationalize "wait a second, it wasn't so bad. Everyone has their addictions. Some people smoke. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. But maaan my drug of choice sure made me feel good. Why did I leave? Maybe I should call my dealer..." Figuring out self esteem issues is a b****. I still have no idea how to feel better about myself, but at least now I know I don't need to be dating right now. 1
SerCay Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 I think this is why you start to question the relationship again, things like "how do I know it's not worth fighting for? Nobody is perfect. Maybe we should try again". If you take those words out of context it almost sounds like a drug addict who has been sober for a while and now they're trying to rationalize "wait a second, it wasn't so bad. Everyone has their addictions. Some people smoke. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. But maaan my drug of choice sure made me feel good. Why did I leave? Maybe I should call my dealer..." You nailed it right there Exit..welcome to the ''club''.. But, at least we know now..and we can work on it..some people live in ignorance their whole lives!
tryingtodiscoveranew Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 Well...I read through some of The Addiction book we discussed. I don't know if I was in a mood today, or what! But, the pages I read brought up a lot of turmoil inside. I actually felt myself getting a little emotional in the book store. I could see myself in the Love Addict position, as my ex play the part of the Love Avoidant. For so long, I've felt bad about not always being present in our relationship and constantly wanting out. But, now I believe, I could not have received a commitment from her, even if I had wanted one. She is designed to run, when someone begins to rely on her love. The one question that lingers in my mind is: did I turn her into a Love Avoidant, by breaking up with her so many times in the beginning our relationship? Or was this always there, and we were set-up to play out these continuous cycles, until one person finally STOPS!? Hmm...
SerCay Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 Well...I read through some of The Addiction book we discussed. I don't know if I was in a mood today, or what! But, the pages I read brought up a lot of turmoil inside. I actually felt myself getting a little emotional in the book store. I could see myself in the Love Addict position, as my ex play the part of the Love Avoidant. For so long, I've felt bad about not always being present in our relationship and constantly wanting out. But, now I believe, I could not have received a commitment from her, even if I had wanted one. She is designed to run, when someone begins to rely on her love. The one question that lingers in my mind is: did I turn her into a Love Avoidant, by breaking up with her so many times in the beginning our relationship? Or was this always there, and we were set-up to play out these continuous cycles, until one person finally STOPS!? Hmm... Heyy I was waiting for you to read it Weird huh to read about yourself? People become love addicts or love avoidants because of their childhood..so I guess you're not the one to blame here.. The cycles will go on forever if we don't change it ourselves I'm having a hard time with this now as well..My ex called me a couple days ago and we had a nice closure talk. I was happy very happy and felt like I could go on. What happens the next day? You can guess.. My ''cycle'' pops up and I'm like..hmm I can get him back..just a tiny bit of effort. I didn't do it. I didn't call and I stayed true to myself. We can change this!
tryingtodiscoveranew Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 I truly can't wait until my PM kicks in! I have so much I'd like to share with you. But, for now...I'm pretty confident in saying that you and I played the role of ''Love Addicts'' in our relationships, making them the opposite. Do you happen to know anything about your ex's childhood? Were there any behaviors or events that he shared that you think may have caused him to be ''Avoidant''? Btw, kudos on not continuing the cycle by calling him back. You inspire me! I'm currently almost a month, NC...woohoo!!
hypersonic Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 Y'all are freaking me out, are you spying on me? I'm in the same boat and plan to read some of the books mentioned. It's nice to be able to read on LS and realize that I'm not the only one. I know I'm not ready but I've been looking at dating sites and thinking about trying again. I guess I'm just that desperate to have a relationship and it's affecting my judgement. Having already beat two addictions (alcohol and prescription drugs) I guess it's time to go for the hat trick...
tryingtodiscoveranew Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 Y'all are freaking me out, are you spying on me? I'm in the same boat and plan to read some of the books mentioned. It's nice to be able to read on LS and realize that I'm not the only one. I know I'm not ready but I've been looking at dating sites and thinking about trying again. I guess I'm just that desperate to have a relationship and it's affecting my judgement. Having already beat two addictions (alcohol and prescription drugs) I guess it's time to go for the hat trick... Wow, Hypersonic...you beat two addictions!! That could not have been easy. How long did it take you? I truly applaud your drive. You appear to be setting some major goals and accomplishing them! I would love it if you joined us in defeating this love addiction issue. It has been kicking my *** for many years and I'm finally ready to give it a swift kick in its ***!!lol I read that you've been married twice in a short amount of time. So, you don't seem to be committment phobic, which is great. I have suffered from that. But, you appear to seek and welcome love in. I guess my question to you would be, is it really love that you were letting in from your ex?
hypersonic Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 I was addicted to alcohol for 14 years and benzos (xanax, klonopin,ativan) for four years. *My first ex threatened to take away my kids so I sobered up. *Month in rehab and about six months before I was a somewhat functioning human being. *I was married the first time for ten years and after the divorce jumped immediately into another relationship because I couldn't stand being alone. *ten months after getting married the second time I found out my wife was cheating on me with three other guys. *My first wife truly loved me but had her own issues and my drinking and so that went down the tubes but the second one was just using me.
tryingtodiscoveranew Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 I was addicted to alcohol for 14 years and benzos (xanax, klonopin,ativan) for four years. *My first ex threatened to take away my kids so I sobered up. *Month in rehab and about six months before I was a somewhat functioning human being. *I was married the first time for ten years and after the divorce jumped immediately into another relationship because I couldn't stand being alone. *ten months after getting married the second time I found out my wife was cheating on me with three other guys. *My first wife truly loved me but had her own issues and my drinking and so that went down the tubes but the second one was just using me. Sounds like things haven't always been easy. My addictions have only been bad food and bad women!lol The food part I am doing excellent with. The women part, not so good yet. I actually haven't started dating anyone in over a year now. The last person I dated was my ex (for the 6th, or 10th time). I have truly lost count. You say you think you're ready to start looking? I actually had that thought cross my mind today. I saw this beautiful woman jogging and it reminded me how there are so many people out there. There's no need to get stuck on one, that you aren't compatible with. For so long I've been trying to fit a square peg in a round hole! I'm sure that woman I saw today would love an exquisite healthy meal prepared especially for her by yours truly!!
hypersonic Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 I've thought about looking around. Nothing serious and staying miles away from commitment...
tryingtodiscoveranew Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Feeling on edge... I feel like I must break NC to get rid of this undeniable urge! The urge is eating me alive and the pain is consuming... This would be the 100th time breaking NC, but I don't know what else to do. I feel like it's a game that she always wins at. She is the Queen of NC and it kills me to let her win. But, it kills me to stay away. UGH...
leannesagoodman Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 This would be the 100th time breaking NC, but I don't know what else to do. I feel like it's a game that she always wins at. She is the Queen of NC and it kills me to let her win. But, it kills me to stay away. I think a lot of us can empathise with this! At some point, as stupidly difficult as it is, this has to change. And it'll hurt, and it'll feel like you're doing the wrong thing, as you're essentially running away from the contact 'fix' that you'll get. But that's the only way that it'll eventually go, from you changing your habits once. I'm pretty sure that's in Hamlet somewhere, actually ... Anyway, it is a very difficult thing. It hurts to go without them. But it's like you say - she'll win if you contact her. By the sounds of it that's not a nice thing. It gets better, though. Going cold turkey as it were doesn't start to feel so bad after some time. But we're all here for you in the meantime.
tryingtodiscoveranew Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 I think a lot of us can empathise with this! At some point, as stupidly difficult as it is, this has to change. And it'll hurt, and it'll feel like you're doing the wrong thing, as you're essentially running away from the contact 'fix' that you'll get. But that's the only way that it'll eventually go, from you changing your habits once. I'm pretty sure that's in Hamlet somewhere, actually ... Anyway, it is a very difficult thing. It hurts to go without them. But it's like you say - she'll win if you contact her. By the sounds of it that's not a nice thing. It gets better, though. Going cold turkey as it were doesn't start to feel so bad after some time. But we're all here for you in the meantime. Hi Leannesagoodman... Thank you so much for kind words. The good news is I made it through another day without contacting her. I'm getting close to a month. I've been getting deeper into the book Sercay recommended and there is a part about assigning too much time and value to another person. It goes on to say, we go as far as view this person as having such omnipotent power, making that person the Higher Power, just as the bottle is to an alcoholic. I can absolutely relate to this. I have projected such extreme power onto my ex, that no matter how bad things were between us, I have always envied other people for catching her eye. I thought they were so fortunate to be receiving love, devotion, respect, beauty, and friendship that I wish I had kept. But, the reality is...I did not receive any of this from her the more our relationship progressed. I'm not blaming, just stating a fact.
CopingGal Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 How do I know whether its worth fighting for? I could overlook some of the things - none of us are perfect. How do know that you should move on? Here are your answers: -Does the person make time for you...willingly...joyfully? -Does this person respect you? -Does this person seem to want to be with you? Is she or he into you? -Can you trust this person? -Do you feel as if your heart is safe with this person? -Is this person kind to you? -Is this person faithful? -Does this person seem to really care about you, your physical safety, and your emotional well-being? If the answer to all of these questions is "Yes," then I think you should try to work things out.
flyman Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Hey Sunderland, I went through the same thing. Broke up, got back, four months later both "agreed" on breaking up. Holy crap, I felt so good at first. As if I was on top of the world, then it hit me pretty hard. I totally understand what you feel. It felt like I needed my "daily" fix of that person but just like you, I knew that this wasn't right for me. You can't plan to contact her next month. I went through that as well. Eventually, you have to stop putting yourself in vulnerable positions. What if you reach out for her and she decides to cut ties? Obviously, it's easier said than done .
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