Edtheduck Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 I've been thinking, with the **** that I've gone through with my ex recently, if she came back, would it actually be a 2nd chance, or a NEW chance? A lot of people think they can go back into a relationship and pick up where they left off. I'm a firm believer that if it happens, it's something new again. The person has changed, you've changed. Sure they may show similar traits to when you were last together, BUT, the new relationship is just that, NEW. Getting to know them all over again, why they liked, what they thought. Etc Ultimately leading to a STRONGER relationship, one that sticks. Just thinking out loud and interested to hear from people who did actually get back together. Did you have to start all over again? What is different to the first time, or the same and straight back in? All this coming from someone who's never had a second chance with any lady, so I'm just interested to know....
MooBear Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 Backstory: My boyfriend and I were quite on and off for a few years. I always said to him we need to start fresh when we would have another go, and it be brand new - same things you're saying. He said its not possible because of the history etc. We ended up having about 6 months apart at our last breakup, limited contact and we managed to be friends which we had never done before. We're together now after really working through our problems thoroughly but things always come up. I agree with him now that you can't start over. It can never be brand new. BUT it can be better than it was. For us, we had a lot of stuff to sort out and work out if we should even be together or just stay friends and let the relationship go. While sorting it all out, I realised he was right that we couldn't start over and I didn't want to start over anymore because wiping the slate clean meant also forgetting the good times, not just the bad. And I love our good memories. Once we felt we had got everything out there, we started dating again. And now it's been about a year and it's the best it has ever been. So I don't think it's possible to really start fresh because you can't wipe clean your memory. But if you can sort out the reasons for the breakup and any other problems there were, you can do it better than before
hinatticus Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 I'm in the midst of getting my ex back. Whatever problems were there need to be addressed. Some things will stay the same, but it feels like we're getting to know each other again. So it will be new but with old. I don't think you can just go back into an old relationship the way it was. After all it was a break up cuz it was broken. Kinda like an old car with a new engine. Get a great new engine and the old car runs better than before.
Author Edtheduck Posted June 29, 2012 Author Posted June 29, 2012 Thank you both. It certainly gives me perspective. It would always be a case of new start, lingering memories I guess. The new start would be great of course, as the attraction, impulse feeling would still be there. Then the emotions come on board and you start to remember what you once had. I have to say, if my ex came back to me, I honestly wouldn't have a ****ing clue how to handle it. It's something I've never experienced before. It would, literally, catch me totally off guard. For me, it will never happen anyway, so......... Big fat
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