LatsyrcSC Posted July 4, 2004 Posted July 4, 2004 I just don't get it. I've been seeing this guy for nearly a month now. He took me out on our first date. Then I've invited him to my house 3 other times, and STILL no kiss. He doesn't touch me, flirt with me, hug on me or anything. Yet, he still seems to enjoy spending time with me. I just don't understand why he won't make a move already. A little background on him..he's been divorced once. But do you just lose interest in women after you get divorced. This is the second divorced guy I've dated and had the same problem with both. What is the deal here. After this guy I will NEVERRRRRRRRR date another divorced man ever. Too much freaking drama. I give him every opportunity to kiss me when he leaves. I pull away from the hug and try to look him in the eye, but he just looks away. I just want to plant one on him so bad I can't stand it lol..but I'm afraid he doesn't want it. He doesn't give me any indication that he does Dawn
StartingAgain Posted July 4, 2004 Posted July 4, 2004 That could tell much. Look, there's something you must understand about men and divorce. It isn't always true, but men generally BURNED BIG TIME in a divorce. Not only is it financially devatstating, it's emotionally devastating as well. So most divorced men are a bit wary of women for awhile. This could be part of your fella's problem. Also, he may be pacing the relationship a but slower than you'd like. Maybe he doesn't want you to think that he's only after you for some sex. Maybe you aren't sending him the right signals. How old is this man? I have to say that if a woman I was interested in had invited me to her home three times I probably would have figured it out already that she's interested too and would have made a move. Maybe he likes you, but isn't sexually attracted to you. Who can say. Some men are shy -- yes, some of us really are. So plant one on him and see how he responds. Better yet, why don't you ask him about this? A woman saying that a man is too dramatic. LOL. Sorry, but that's funny. We men have tolerated drama from just about every woman we've ever been involved in. We're used to it. But I don't see any drama in what you wrote.
rightintentions17 Posted July 4, 2004 Posted July 4, 2004 herm.. It seems to me that this guy just wants to take things slow.. and doesnt want to come off as just trying to have sex with you.. however if you are inviting him over so much, and giving him signs.. then i dont know what to say. Does the guy come off as a genuinely nice person? If so, then i'd say he wants to show you he isnt just using you for sex.
LatsyrcSC Posted July 4, 2004 Posted July 4, 2004 I would definitely plant one on him to see how he'd react IF I knew he wanted it. What if he pulls away..... He's been divorced for almost four years. After his divorced he had a relationship with a woman for two years and they talked about marriage, but that didn't work out. Now he's seeing me. I guess you're right, he could be just taking it slow. Letting me know he isn't after sex. However, atleast touch me and hug on me or something. I mean goodness.......there's "TAKING IT SLOW"...and then there's "DEAD".
chicasha Posted July 7, 2004 Posted July 7, 2004 I agree. Boys suck anyways. ugggghh. they have no clue. but..i do agree that he might be extra extra uber cautious just cos he's had so many bad experiences w/ women in the past. Evaluate what you'd really like out of a relationship with him. If u can see yourself with him for a long long time....despite the no-hugging/kissing part (a relationship should also be a friendship..its not ALL about kissing and sex, afterall)....then maybe you should let him know how you feel. This way....u can also build a friendship with him....and *try* to keep an emotional distance (the no kissing/hugging actually helps in this respect!). IF..for some reason he's not interested...then hey...u still have a friend. (ok..personaly i hate when someone tells me this...so i'm so very sorry for saying....but deep down, u know it really is true). I would definitely tell him that you find him to be a great person...someone you really enjoy spending time with...and someone who you find really attractive. Tell him you respect him and respect his past relationships..and hope that he can see past the hurt other women have caused him, because you'd really like to see more of him in the future. Be as respectful and genuine as possible...which shouldn't be too hard to do if you really do have strong feelings for him. See how he responds...and then plant a kiss on him :-) But..leave it at that. Hopefully that will let him know you value him as an individual and as a friend...and not just as a lover. But it also shows you are attracted to him, and want him in your life as 'more than friends'. sound good??? I wish u the best of luck in this...I don't think he's 'not interested'...I think he's just REALLY gun-shy, and scared of anything....cos he's probably scared he is going to get burned again. Having said all this.....do NOT do any of the above unless you really DO see him as being in your life long-term. Poor guy has been thru so much already...so be really sure of what you want....or else he's gonna be even more crushed...!!
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