rainfall Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 Pierre why does it bother you so much that somen women don't want kids because of what it will do to their body? It doesn't make them selfish at all. What happens to your body the labor, nine months of hell, and the after effects are all reasons why I don't want kids but they aren't the only ones. I enjoy my life as it is and have no desire to take care of another human. I just can't see myself giving up on everything I want in life to look after a baby and still being happy. There are enough people that want children in this world that it shouldn't matter that a small percetnage of us don't. Unless you are dating or married to someone who doesn't want kids why do you even care?
Untouchable_Fire Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 I have PCOS also, and will have to gain about 20 lbs to concieve, and get disfiguring acne, because I need the pill to control my acne. Getting fat, acne, and not being able to fulfill my dream of extensive travel- are ALL valid reasons for me to not want kids. There is nothing wrong with not wanting kids. However, I don't understand why all the women I hear saying that are self centered, low self esteem, nutjobs. Why does it seem like only the complete pscyhos don't want kids? Don't get me wrong... it's probably a good idea for them to not have children to emotionally batter.
rainfall Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 There is nothing wrong with not wanting kids. However, I don't understand why all the women I hear saying that are self centered, low self esteem, nutjobs. Why does it seem like only the complete pscyhos don't want kids? Don't get me wrong... it's probably a good idea for them to not have children to emotionally batter. From what I've seen most if not all of the people who don't want kids are smart, motivated, and have certain goals in life that they can't achieve as easily with a baby. From what I've seen there are WAY more crazy chicks that want babies hten those that don't. I am not saying that people that want babies are crazy. I am just saying of all the crazy people I know most of them want/have kids.
Untouchable_Fire Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 From what I've seen most if not all of the people who don't want kids are smart, motivated, and have certain goals in life that they can't achieve as easily with a baby. From what I've seen there are WAY more crazy chicks that want babies hten those that don't. I am not saying that people that want babies are crazy. I am just saying of all the crazy people I know most of them want/have kids. The smart motivated ones tend to just delay kids from what I see. My xW never wanted kids. We split at 23 and I always figured she would change her mind. Now at 33 I see she still has no kids or plans for them. She is also the most self centered person I've ever met.
Gracie22 Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 I don't want kids. I'm not certain I ever did except for a passing thought. Why? I;m selfish (as least that's what I tell people...gets them off your back immediately). I like my life, my freedom, spending my money on what I want, spending my time as I want. It seems when you have children you give up things that you want/like for thier benefit. I'm glad people have kids, I love my nieces and nephew! But I don't have to be there every second for every need. 1
rainfall Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 The smart motivated ones tend to just delay kids from what I see. My xW never wanted kids. We split at 23 and I always figured she would change her mind. Now at 33 I see she still has no kids or plans for them. She is also the most self centered person I've ever met. I understand your views now. It is tainted because of your bad experience with your xW. Not wanting kids doesn't make someone stupid, selfish, or any of the other things you said. Just means they wanna keep their life the way it is and don't want it to change. 1
Inflikted Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 I'm... not really sure about my stance on kids, to be honest. I mean, I'm only 23, so I suppose I still have some time before it would be something I'd need to seriously think about. But I find kids to be... well, annoying. That, and I don't really like talking to them, being around them, or generally interacting with them. Of course, that's other peoples' kids. People say "It's different when they're yours", and I'm not a bad person that would hate their kids if I ever had any. At the same time, I've pictured myself eventually having a nice little family (wife, maybe a kid or two) far off in the future, and I always kinda liked that "picture". And I'd hate to live and die without ever having passed on my name/ family lineage. So, I dunno. I guess it just depends on who I end up with, if anybody. I'm sure I could be talked into the idea, and if it ever happened unexpectedly, I'd make it work. Right now, I just can't see it, though.
Radu Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 Most kids are mistakes anyway, not that their parents would ever admit it. 2
Titanwolf Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 Most kids are mistakes anyway, not that their parents would ever admit it. LMAO! That's one of those unspoken truths, but I have to laugh when someone has the courage to say it out loud
KungFuJoe Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 Not mistakes...but more "oops". Neither of my girls were planned in the sense that my wife and I said "let's get pregnant". They just happened and luckily for us, it was at the right time.
kaylan Posted September 1, 2012 Posted September 1, 2012 Not mistakes...but more "oops". Neither of my girls were planned in the sense that my wife and I said "let's get pregnant". They just happened and luckily for us, it was at the right time. Yet for many people kids come at the wrong time. And even then, these same people will call others selfish for not wanting kids. Is it not selfish to bring kids into this world when you cant take care of them with ease and comfort? 2
Sugarkane Posted September 1, 2012 Posted September 1, 2012 I think itseasy for guys to say there's something wrong if a woman doesn't want kids. It's not males who have to gain weight, carry the child for 9 months, give birth and reduce your work/ leave work for years.
Sugarkane Posted September 1, 2012 Posted September 1, 2012 I can relate to the OP. I'm also the same age and am on the pill for adult acne. I'm also the sane age. Thanks to this recession and the Casualization of the work force, I couldn't afford a child at the moment even if I wanted too. My mostly female co workers always ask me when I'm going to get married and have kids. I find this really rude. For all they know I could have fertility problems. Having kids didn't make them have manners.
Radu Posted September 1, 2012 Posted September 1, 2012 LMAO! That's one of those unspoken truths, but I have to laugh when someone has the courage to say it out loud One of my best friends has a doctor parent. He told him how he came about, after his older brother [he was the only child they wanted]. Apparently he drank a bit, pulled out but sprayed her mom's lips [i kid you not], and some sperm seeped in before she managed to clean it off, even though she had hair. He told him this as a cautionary tale, to not get pregnant another girl. I still wonder how much that messed him up.
Ross MwcFan Posted September 1, 2012 Posted September 1, 2012 1. The world is becoming over populated. 2. I don't need kids to be happy 3. I'd be a crap dad 4. I'd pass my ****ed up genes onto them 5. It would make me feel unhappy and stressed 6. It sounds like a really boring lifestyle 7. I just couldn't be bothered with the work that goes into it That's all I can think of for now.
irc333 Posted September 1, 2012 Posted September 1, 2012 Funny this is brought up, as I was approaching 40, my desire to even have children grew to none. I figured by age 40, I had no desire to have children, and now have no interest in becoming an elderly parent. Plus the financial burden and responsibility. Anyhow, as far as how it impacts me, I probably can't date too many women in their early 30s because if they don't have kids, they usually are always wanting kids. By 40 or so, most women are single moms that now have no interest in having additional children. Though, lately, I occasionally come across some women that are 40 and STILL want kids....not sure why at that age, they haven't lost the desire yet to have them...but they currently don't have them. I love kids, but don't want them. I love being around kids so much, that I considered a job in child care. Still, I do not want kids. What are your reasons for not wanting kids? And how does it impact your dating life? Surely there are cases where you fall in love before you reveal your true intentions regarding kids? I have left my career until age 24, due to stuffing around in life, and now I have to focus on getting quaifications, which will lead to employment, and try to work at bars at nights in the meanwhile. No time for kids - only time for fitness ( a nice walk or run) and to socialize once or twice a week. In addition to studying for my career, earning money on weekends, and maybe a visit or two with a friend - getting a run in most days is all I WANT to do. I am not UN maternal - I just am not so maternal that I NEED kids to complete me. I could have been a great mother -I had great parents myself. I have PCOS also, and will have to gain about 20 lbs to concieve, and get disfiguring acne, because I need the pill to control my acne. Getting fat, acne, and not being able to fulfill my dream of extensive travel- are ALL valid reasons for me to not want kids. If I had my career sorted, and had travelled a lot, I would be willing to settle down amd have kids. I would have loved to have had kids, and would have done it if my life had turned out differently. I am interested to hear your reasons why you don't want children, or WHY you never did it! It is not longer a awkward topic in many circles, either. There is none of that stero types " oh... well, you'll find the right man" or ( if their older) " maybe you could adopt?" Although I would adopt, if I get a lot of money later in life; although, I digress... I would rather help shalter stray dogs:lmao:
Sugarkane Posted September 1, 2012 Posted September 1, 2012 I dont know why people love judging people with no kids. From my own experience parents play favorites all the time. Being the eldest I was always told to set an example and do the right thing. When I rebelled I got screamed at. Yet if the younger ones rebel it's ok or even cute. And parents are always completely easy going with the younger ones. Unlike being the eldest which felt like being put on a short leash. Despite being a good and doing the right thing.
HeavenOrHell Posted September 1, 2012 Posted September 1, 2012 Always knew I didn't want kids because; I find dealing with my own life hard enough. I didn't want to put my anxiety/depression/stress onto a kid, to affect them cos of it. I'm not patient enough (comes under the stress category), and that wouldn't be fair on them. The world is overpopulated. The world is a harsh place and I wouldn't choose to put any kid through it. I can see no good reasons for having kids. ______________ I wish more people would actually think about why they're having kids, I think many just do it cos it's what you do. Also wish they'd think about whether they'd be good enough parents, I admit I wouldn't be, why can't more people do that, especially the abusive or angry parents. I don't get why some impatient parents treat their kids like they're in the way or being a pain, you wanted kids-deal with it. 1
HeavenOrHell Posted September 1, 2012 Posted September 1, 2012 Unprotected sex/risky sex doesn't just happen. Reminds of when people cheat and say 'it just happened', uhm...you mean your penis somehow became erect and fell into her vagina Not mistakes...but more "oops". Neither of my girls were planned in the sense that my wife and I said "let's get pregnant". They just happened and luckily for us, it was at the right time. 2
Anezka101 Posted September 4, 2012 Posted September 4, 2012 I have never had a strong desire to have kids. The idea of someone completely depending on me.... I am sure I would stuff up. I would only consider it if I found a partner who would be willing to share the responsibility and to support me when needed. I couldn't do it alone, I simply don't want kids enough. Also, the idea of being free to travel and get jobs where and when I want to is more appealing to me than being a mother. I'm not soo infatuated with the idea of being a mother. For many reasons witch I rather not desscuse. All for one n one for all. Worlds over populated anyways.
USCGAviator Posted September 4, 2012 Posted September 4, 2012 Already have 3 kids and was sniped before I got a divorce. I tend to seek out single mothers cause I'm done making them. It's fun pretending to procreate
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