jobaba Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Im still kind of torn on having children. On one hand, ive kinda never wanted them because they would kill my musical aspirations which is what i do with most of my free time. On the other hand, i know i would make an excellent father because im loyal and selfless. If i did i would strongly consider adopting. Not only does it help improve one childs life, but i dont really want my kid to get my genes as another poster said. Why would i want to see someone i love go through the same struggles i did?
Sid6.7 Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Im still kind of torn on having children. On one hand, ive kinda never wanted them because they would kill my musical aspirations which is what i do with most of my free time. Not only would a kid kill your dreams the mother would make damn sure you never achieve them. She will tell you to get a "real" job. Grow up and become a "real" man and take care of your responsibilities. Go get diapers and pick up some milk! Can you cancel practice today (and tomorrow) I am tired and the baby needs changed. Follow your dreams man and never let anyone impede those aspirations.
SmileFace Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Not only would a kid kill your dreams the mother would make damn sure you never achieve them. She will tell you to get a "real" job. Grow up and become a "real" man and take care of your responsibilities. Go get diapers and pick up some milk! Can you cancel practice today (and tomorrow) I am tired and the baby needs changed. Follow your dreams man and never let anyone impede those aspirations. I never seen a married musical artist or one with kids:rolleyes:
SarahRose Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 My kids are grown. Sure at the time when you are young and it is expected it seems like a good thing. I can only speak for now as I am past the child bearing age. I knew after my last one I didn't want any more. I don't want kids and can't stand to be around them. The majority of them are so ill mannered these days. i avoid being around them. it seem the smart people think about having kids while the morons are the most prolific in reproducing. Anyone watch idiocracy? 1
Sid6.7 Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 I never seen a married musical artist or one with kids:rolleyes: For good reason.
ThaWholigan Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 For good reason. She was being sarcastic (I think) 1
RedRobin Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Im still kind of torn on having children. On one hand, ive kinda never wanted them because they would kill my musical aspirations which is what i do with most of my free time. On the other hand, i know i would make an excellent father because im loyal and selfless. If i did i would strongly consider adopting. Not only does it help improve one childs life, but i dont really want my kid to get my genes as another poster said. Why would i want to see someone i love go through the same struggles i did? There are lots of ways to contribute to a child's life without having ones of your own. Big Brothers/Big Sisters are a great organization. There are also reading tutoring you could do (like I did)... if your schedule is a bit flexible. 1
RedRobin Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 She was being sarcastic (I think) Um, yea. There are tons of married musicians with kids... One could argue that being a musician is ideal for raising kids because you work when you want to and the kids are around. Kinda like free lancing. Yes, it involves travel. That would be the tough part, if you wanted to go on tour at some point. The ones who are just starting out tend to be out late at night too. That's pretty tough. Like shift work.
Sid6.7 Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 ThaWholigan, I wasn't sure so I preempted it for good measure. Um, yea. There are tons of successful married musicians with kids... Fixed this part for you.
RedRobin Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Fixed this part for you. Funny... coming from someone who is so keen about warning him about WOMEN stomping on his dreams.... 1
SmileFace Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 She was being sarcastic (I think) I was being passive agreesive... Teehee Yeah that was sarcasm.
ThaWholigan Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 I was being passive agreesive... Teehee Yeah that was sarcasm. Damn straight. Take that DSM-V!! 1
mario_C Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 I want no children. All of the above reasons pretty much apply - except for the ones about labor pain, stretch marks, bloating etc. because let's face it, I have the easy half of the job. And I don't want THAT. Plus another reason - what kind of person wants to subject a child to growing up into the kind of world this one is turning into? Any woman who takes on motherhood is a saint, but it will not be from my seed. Not on purpose...(and of course, I use condoms - I'm not stupid. Well, I would if I was going to ever have sex again...) And anyone who wants to suggest I'm immature and irresponsible, I'll tell you about Grandma. How I could have had a nice paying dev job in NYC, probably had a girlfriend. Instead I spent 5 months trapped in assisting with the care of an angry, demented 90 year old. Take that, terrible twos!
Sid6.7 Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Funny... coming from someone who is so keen about warning him about WOMEN stomping on his dreams.... How do you think they became successful? It wasn't because he knocked someone up and had a nagging female telling him to man up and fetch the milk bottle all the while saying he can't go practice with the band. No, they followed their dreams and desires with complete and driven disregard to what some chic may think of him. People often ask what is confidence. Confidence is not giving one **** about what someone else may think of them. Then take the knowledge of knowing this and the fortitude to achieve whatever goal you set your mind to with intent and action. Whether it be music, girls, money, sex, financial gain. The list goes on. 1
DjinnAgain Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 You guys can go jump, your so rude and IGNORANT on the issue of children, who are YOU to tell me that I am mentally retarded, or selfish for not wanting kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Liegh; it's okay. People are always vocal on here about their opinion being right and others being invalid. There are a lot of people who want to be parents so badly then don't want to sacrifice anything for them -- sending them immediately to daycare, not spending time with them, not scaling back their own aspirations to allow children to reach theirs, etc - not for the child, but for their own desires; that is much more selfish than choosing not to have a child to begin with... It is not inherently selfish to have or not to have children. If you intend on putting yourself first, please don't have children. Too many people go in with their eyes closed and refuse to open them afterwards. There's a 3-6 month period after having kids where sex is less frequent. (We only managed once or twice a week a so, after the first 4 weeks with none) Your body might not be the same. My body fat percent and weight is about the same, but my body has changed. My waist is larger and my breasts are smaller than prepregnancy. I still look good, but it is different. That's genetic and near impossible to tell beforehand other than looking at your mom and aunts and such. I don't have the same time as my childfree friends, especially with the divorce (which had nothing to do with our child, other than I grew up quickly and realized I couldn't put up with certain things like constant cheating.) I am not going to have the same lifetime earning as I was on the track for because I'm doing the more important job of raising my child. I still think I have the better end of the deal. I still want more children. Motherhood is fulfilling like nothing else ever came close to being. I don't get judging someone for not wanting to have children; or judging those who do.
chrissylee Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Do childless people replace kids with cats and dogs? Some do probably. I don't really see anything wrong with that either. If someone would rather have a dog or cat then a kid, then there is nothing wrong with that. 1
chrissylee Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Women don't want kids because they want to spend every last dime on themselves, to feed a bunch of artificial, TV created needs. That , and also the myth that pregnancy totally destroys your figure or turns your vagina into a StarGate. If that is someone's reason for not wanting kids, then what wrong with it? Why do people get so upset about other people not wanting kids. As long as the two people in the relationship agree on them then why do other people need to say how wrong it id for not wanting them.
ScreamingTrees Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 Reading the first half of the thread, I can't believe the non-stop attack on those who choose to have children. Some intelligent posters who I'd assume would just make their opinions known and leave it at that, rather than go on and on about it. Anyways, as one poster said before me and as I was thinking to myself upon reading the first few posts; It's either/or with kids/no kids.. One choice can't be selfless while the other selfish, it makes no sense to me as one can argue that it's selfish to opt out of having kids because you're focusing on your self and putting your self first. Both choices are selfish, and whether selfish is bad or good.. Ultimately, who gives a **** what anyone else thinks? It's about what you want. The only people who bother to go out of their way to make someone else feel bad about their choices are the people who probably regret their own to some extent or care about the person they're trying to persuade, or else they wouldn't bother.. Unless there's some other reason, like them just being of low character. 2
manup Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 It's the same reason for wanting children. It's a very egoistic idea to suggest YOUR genes need to be passed down. This is just wow, I don't even know what to say.
manup Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 I always reveal my true intentions about not wanting kids within the first few dates. Usually the topic comes up somehow (the guy usually asks what I want in the future) and I make sure to tell them I don't want kids. I have never been in love. Most guys don't care though. I have never been rejected because of this. I don't want kids because aside from the obvious time, money and effort it takes to have and raise one, kids would get in the way of my life. I have a growing career, I love to travel, I don't want to ruin my body and to be quite honest, I think i'm one of the few people who thinks that pregnancy and pregnant women are disgusting. I think that having a baby inside of your belly is the nastiest thing in the world. I see a pregnant woman and I feel sympathy for her, because not only is she going to be stuck with this kid for the rest of her life (which isn't bad for them I guess because they want one) but they ruined their body, and in the rare case that they don't, they can't make any decision without having to think about their kid first. I just think it would ruin my life. I know that eventually I need to have one so I don't end up old and alone and I have someone to take care of me, but the concept of getting pregnant and actually being a mother is repulsive. All my boyfriends knew this about me within the first month of dating, yet somehow one still proposed and they all tried to convince me to marry them and have kids. I don't see how I can possibly be wife material if this is how I think about family values. Just out of curiosity has this affected how many times you've been proposed to?
manup Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 You people are literally ****ed up, I mean sterilization, calling people narcissists, and saying people who aren't rich shouldn't be allowed to pro-create? Really people? It's fine if you don't want kids, but you sound like a bunch of anti baby nazis.
Author Leigh 87 Posted July 1, 2012 Author Posted July 1, 2012 Women don't want kids because they want to spend every last dime on themselves, to feed a bunch of artificial, TV created needs. That , and also the myth that pregnancy totally destroys your figure or turns your vagina into a StarGate. I feel sorry for you, if your not trolling... What an ignorant, misinformed person! Yuck. And yikes. Actually, I plan to be heavily involved in charitable work when I grow older, and cannot spend money on travel and fun times for myself. I would love to spend time in impoverished countries, and actually see where my money is going, and do some hands on work. Another HUGE reason why I am not having kids, is because the spare money I do have, I would like to see help people, rather than feed another mouth.
zengirl Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 This is just wow, I don't even know what to say. I just think there's easily as much ego and selfishness that goes into the desire to have kids as there is that goes into the desire to not have kids. More now, really, because there's no need to re-populate or encourage a stronger population. If anything, we are suffering from overpopulation that has hindered our lifestyles, so anyone who doesn't feel a need to have kids is absolutely not hurting anyone or being selfish in a detrimental way. Many people who have kids for wrong reasons or even if they know they might not be great parents are selfish in a detrimental way. Most people are selfish and egoistic in this choice, on either side, but to a very mild degree: They simply want what they want because they want it. There's no reason why parents who choose that path should be upheld as being any less selfish or any more responsible --- they WANT to be parents and wanted to experience that. We all give up things to have the experiences we want; parents are not unique in that. Bad parents are terrible for society, and good parents are good for society, but being a parent in and of itself has no intrinsic value to society, IMO, especially in this day of overpopulation. Being a good parent, just like being a good ANYTHING, has some value, but there are many other ways to contribute to society if your energy and time are freed up from the responsibilities of parenthood.
manup Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 I just think there's easily as much ego and selfishness that goes into the desire to have kids as there is that goes into the desire to not have kids. More now, really, because there's no need to re-populate or encourage a stronger population. If anything, we are suffering from overpopulation that has hindered our lifestyles, so anyone who doesn't feel a need to have kids is absolutely not hurting anyone or being selfish in a detrimental way. Many people who have kids for wrong reasons or even if they know they might not be great parents are selfish in a detrimental way. Most people are selfish and egoistic in this choice, on either side, but to a very mild degree: They simply want what they want because they want it. There's no reason why parents who choose that path should be upheld as being any less selfish or any more responsible --- they WANT to be parents and wanted to experience that. We all give up things to have the experiences we want; parents are not unique in that. Bad parents are terrible for society, and good parents are good for society, but being a parent in and of itself has no intrinsic value to society, IMO, especially in this day of overpopulation. Being a good parent, just like being a good ANYTHING, has some value, but there are many other ways to contribute to society if your energy and time are freed up from the responsibilities of parenthood. This is racist, classist, elitist, and small minded. I mean you sound like a nihilist for christ's sake. I doubt you contribute much to society, other than maybe some petty volunteer work and what a job? Are you employed? How do you make society better?
chrissylee Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 This is racist, classist, elitist, and small minded. I mean you sound like a nihilist for christ's sake. I doubt you contribute much to society, other than maybe some petty volunteer work and what a job? Are you employed? How do you make society better? How is that post any of those things? I think what she said makes perfect sense. There is no reason for a person to be viewed as "better" than someone else because they want kids. Just because someone has a kid doesn't mean they are making society any better either. There are PLENTY of ways to make society better that have nothing to do with kids.
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