RedRobin Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 You wrote a great reply. However, all young folks get old. I am in my early 40s and in great condition, but I am not 20 anymore. I have the same flat abdomen I always had and actually work out more than in my 20s just to keep up. Your concerns sound shallow and at some point you will have to adapt. Otherwise, you will be the old guy with a ton of plastic surgery that only dates young 20 year olds. Big deal. You are a guy. You could decide to wait until you are in your 50's to have kids if you wanted to. I imagine it must be wonderful to date for 20+ years before deciding to have children or finding someone worthy to have them with. And regarding the looks thing... fess up. you are as shallow as a puddle when it comes to looks. Sure, I imagine that you would be faithful to your partner after she had kids... I also imagine your partner will be alot younger than you so that the odds are better it won't be tough. So quit with the hypocrisy. How old is the woman having your kid by the way?
Emilia Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 Furthermore, some of these folks have no prospect of ever finding a mate to form a family and being childless is the right thing to do. Why the disdain and disrespect? From memory, you are divorced and not in the position to have children - not at a reasonably young age anyway? Unless you want to compete with 30 year-old fathers in the egg and spoon races in your kids' school when you are 50. 1
Emilia Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 How old is the woman having your kid by the way? Oh, he is going to be a 50 year-old competing with 30 year-olds in the egg and spoon race. Good luck with that
RedRobin Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 Why the disdain and disrespect? From memory, you are divorced and not in the position to have children - not at a reasonably young age anyway? Unless you want to compete with 30 year-old fathers in the egg and spoon races in your kids' school when you are 50. There is another thread where he said his current GF is pregnant with his kid. I'm happy for him. But it is a nice luxury to be in one's 40's and think he still gets the pick of the litter and has all the time in the world to find someone to start a family with. I believe women ARE better suited not having children if all the men around them are useless. Just take a look around this site. Most of them can't commit to going on a date without f*cking however many women (or trying to) simultaneously. Father material? I think not. 2
RedRobin Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 Oh, he is going to be a 50 year-old competing with 30 year-olds in the egg and spoon race. Good luck with that I know... It's ok though. If he is a good father, then who cares? Having love to give a child is a wonderful thing. But I (like usual) hate the double standards and hypocrisy. It reminds me of all the threads where guys wag their fingers at women for not snatching up all the 'good ones' when they were in their 20's. WTF? Very few people in their 20's know what a 'good one' is. Choosing to raise a child on top of that? Well, there is a reason why nature does what it does... Nature has a way of getting people into parenthood without alot of forethought on their part. Underlying the criticism from people with Pierre's opinions is the concern that the smart people AREN"T reproducing and the dumb ones are. I could second him on that one. 2
Ross MwcFan Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 (edited) Wow! 30 minutes just to get out of bed. Don't have kids! No need to polute the gene pool any further. No need to put me down for it, I can't help it if it takes me that long. With your attitude not only is there no need for you to polute the gene pool further, but you wouldn't make a good father either. Edited June 29, 2012 by Ross MwcFan
RedRobin Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 Pierre, is something wrong? Did your GF miscarry? I hope not. You sound upset. 1
Ross MwcFan Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 Trust me on this one. When you get to be over 40 the women your own age don't look so good if you are a bit shallow. As for kids. It is OK to not want kids in your 20s. Wait till you are my age. I do hope you're not considering having children at the age you are now.
Ross MwcFan Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 Why the disdain and disrespect? From memory, you are divorced and not in the position to have children - not at a reasonably young age anyway? Unless you want to compete with 30 year-old fathers in the egg and spoon races in your kids' school when you are 50. LOL!
Author Leigh 87 Posted June 29, 2012 Author Posted June 29, 2012 I have to say, the idea that a man can have kids in his 50's, where as most women have trouble getting preggnant after the age of 35........... well, sucks! The older dudes can just get younger women when they " feel" like settling down with a family... Where as the 34 year old women has to compete with 20 year olds, because the older men can just get a younger and fertile mate! I doubt that it is near impossible for a women im her 30's to get a date ad have a great relationship! PLENTY of men go for women their own age and also do not WANT more kids or any kids at all.
Pierre Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 Pierre, is something wrong? Did your GF miscarry? I hope not. You sound upset. Everything is fine and I am looking forward to be a father. I simply pasted the comments as to why folks don't want kids. I read reasons such as : Don't want to gain weight, I cannot be responsible for a child, want to go to the gym, never been in love, my genes are not good enough, I cannot be a good parent (too selfish), etc. One guy said he could not be attracted to his woman if she got pregnant. Honestly? It sounds way too shallow for my taste. The future on mankind is certainly not in good hands.
Leopard Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 No need to put me down for it, I can't help it if it takes me that long. With your attitude not only is there no need for you to polute the gene pool further, but you wouldn't make a good father either. Actually, from his posts, I think he would make an absolutely incredible father if he wanted to.
RedRobin Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 Everything is fine and I am looking forward to be a father. I'm glad all is going well with the pregnancy.
Author Leigh 87 Posted June 29, 2012 Author Posted June 29, 2012 Everything is fine and I am looking forward to be a father. I simply pasted the comments as to why folks don't want kids. I read reasons such as : Don't want to gain weight, I cannot be responsible for a child, want to go to the gym, never been in love, my genes are not good enough, I cannot be a good parent (too selfish), etc. One guy said he could not be attracted to his woman if she got pregnant. Honestly? It sounds way too shallow for my taste. The future on mankind is certainly not in good hands. It;s not shallow. I am 25 , and have not started my career yet. I am only just getting into it NOW.. so having kids when I have no financial prospects to offer them is NOT FAIR to the kid! I need to work for years, travel and see the world like I badly want to, and work full time for anumber of years, AND meet the right guy, before it would be feasible to have a child! 2
Ross MwcFan Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 Actually, from his posts, I think he would make an absolutely incredible father if he wanted to. Not if he has this kind of attitude in real life.
Ross MwcFan Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 It;s not shallow. I am 25 , and have not started my career yet. I am only just getting into it NOW.. so having kids when I have no financial prospects to offer them is NOT FAIR to the kid! I need to work for years, travel and see the world like I badly want to, and work full time for anumber of years, AND meet the right guy, before it would be feasible to have a child! It's okay Leigh, don't feel like you have to justify yourself to him.
WonderKid Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 I don't want kids because I just really don't. I don't see the hype. I love my freedom. And I can barely take care of myself so why would I do that to a kid? Plus, I am not gonna be one of these piss poor fathers out here. When I have a child I'm putting my entire life on hold to give it the best life and opportunities I never had--so they can be better than me. But for now, I don't want to put my life on hold. So I'm being careful.
seachangeoflove Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 (edited) Bio clock is ticking away. Time to rationalize! how is that rationalizing? I never, ever see the children. Sure I date men with kids, but only when kids are at mom's house. I stay away from men with younger children. however, I would gladly volunteer for this sterilization program you keep suggesting in this thread. goodness knows, Ive been trying. sadly my health insurance provider will pay for me to have a baby (and baby's covered too) but they won't pay to tie my tubes...sad isn't it? and since I pay good money for my health care Im not going to go to some free clinic and probably die of a bacterial infection. Edited June 29, 2012 by seachangeoflove 1
thatone Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 It;s not shallow. I am 25 , and have not started my career yet. I am only just getting into it NOW.. so having kids when I have no financial prospects to offer them is NOT FAIR to the kid! I need to work for years, travel and see the world like I badly want to, and work full time for anumber of years, AND meet the right guy, before it would be feasible to have a child! he doesn't have an original thought in his head. it's all religious justification for him. no need to justify yourself to those types.
FitChick Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 Survey after survey over the past decades has consistently shown that marital satisfaction plummets with the birth of the first child and each child thereafter. Once the kids have left the nest, if the parents have managed to stay together through all of this, their marital satisfaction rises once again. Have kids if you want them more than you want your marriage. 2
FitChick Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 Bio clock is ticking away. Time to rationalize! I tossed my biological clock out of the window years ago. The ticking annoyed me. 3
RedRobin Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 sadly my health insurance provider will pay for me to have a baby (and baby's covered too) but they won't pay to tie my tubes...sad isn't it? Mine did. Covered under a cyst removal. Were there any cysts there? Who knows.... it was covered though. The toughest part was finding a gyno would do it. A nice Indian woman doctor kindly did the honors for me. I guess she's got first hand knowledge of the downsides of overpopulation. Funny thing is... most men have little or no issues finding someone who will give them a vasectomy. Unfortunately, too many of the precious little darlings don't want their man-parts handled though... and god forbid they wear condoms in a committed relationship. They are just fine having women take hormones well into their 40's and 50's though. so if you want to make sure no 'ooopsies' come from you, you'll just have to find a way to take care of things.
denise_xo Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 Exactly! Many women that don't want kids simply say that to rationalize the fact they don't have a permanent mate. That's certainly not my experience. On the contrary, I think a trend today (which has been dealt with quite extensively in newspapers in different European countries, don't know about the US), is that a lot of women will reach their mid thirties, really want children, but not be in a relationship. I haven't met that many women who have the same position as myself IRL, but none of them was wanting for a partner. They had partners, but didn't want children.
denise_xo Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 So, Pierre, what is your "correct" answer? People should want children (I'm getting the impression that your normative position is that people should want children) because [...fill in the blank...]
FitChick Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 Contact Planned Parenthood. I think they do low cost tubal ligation.
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