Leigh 87 Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 I love kids, but don't want them. I love being around kids so much, that I considered a job in child care. Still, I do not want kids. What are your reasons for not wanting kids? And how does it impact your dating life? Surely there are cases where you fall in love before you reveal your true intentions regarding kids? I have left my career until age 24, due to stuffing around in life, and now I have to focus on getting quaifications, which will lead to employment, and try to work at bars at nights in the meanwhile. No time for kids - only time for fitness ( a nice walk or run) and to socialize once or twice a week. In addition to studying for my career, earning money on weekends, and maybe a visit or two with a friend - getting a run in most days is all I WANT to do. I am not UN maternal - I just am not so maternal that I NEED kids to complete me. I could have been a great mother -I had great parents myself. I have PCOS also, and will have to gain about 20 lbs to concieve, and get disfiguring acne, because I need the pill to control my acne. Getting fat, acne, and not being able to fulfill my dream of extensive travel- are ALL valid reasons for me to not want kids. If I had my career sorted, and had travelled a lot, I would be willing to settle down amd have kids. I would have loved to have had kids, and would have done it if my life had turned out differently. I am interested to hear your reasons why you don't want children, or WHY you never did it! It is not longer a awkward topic in many circles, either. There is none of that stero types " oh... well, you'll find the right man" or ( if their older) " maybe you could adopt?" Although I would adopt, if I get a lot of money later in life; although, I digress... I would rather help shalter stray dogs:lmao:
samsungxoxo Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 I'm not interested in kids and frankly don't have the patience, time and dedication for it. I would rather travel, discovering the 7 wonders of the world than stayed at home and getting waked up by the child's screams and cryings.
thatone Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 I'm not interested in kids and frankly don't have the patience, time and dedication for it. I would rather travel, discovering the 7 wonders of the world than stayed at home and getting waked up by the child's screams and cryings. Same, i dont stay put very well. Since i'm a bit older i am ok with dating women with teenage or older kids, but i won't have any of my own.
mortensorchid Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 I am not opposed to having children, but I seem to encounter men who do not want them. Or say they do not want them, and then have them because they would rather be with a woman who demanded that they have them. So my only defensive move with this is to give the impression that I go through life without a care in the world. When I am actually hurting inside.
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 I have never had a strong desire to have kids. The idea of someone completely depending on me.... I am sure I would stuff up. I would only consider it if I found a partner who would be willing to share the responsibility and to support me when needed. I couldn't do it alone, I simply don't want kids enough. Also, the idea of being free to travel and get jobs where and when I want to is more appealing to me than being a mother. 1
denise_xo Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 I have never wanted children, it's just a feeling that has always stayed with me. It also suits my lifestyle in that I travel a lot and I am focussed on my work. Unless I could marry a man who would agree to be a stay at home father and do the bulk of the child raising, combining the two would be very challenging and stressful. In terms of my dating life, the natural consequence is that I wouldn't get serious with a man who wants children. While this sets limitations, both of my long term partners have felt the same as I do about children, so I've never had to deal with a situation where this has become a problem. Perhaps I have just been lucky in that sense. 1
Algermas Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 Because I'd be subject to the whims of its mother for two decades. 1
Emilia Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 I have never wanted children, I don't like them particularly either. I don't have the patience for them, don't want to make the sacrifices necessary. If I had them I would want to do as good a job as possible and that would mean restrictions on my life I'm not prepared to impose. Surprisingly large number of men want kids or already have them so it does have some impact on my dating life but there are also plenty of guys who are just happy to go with the flow. I'm open to date men with older kids but not toddlers or prepubescents so at my age that means dating younger guys usually (I'm 40).
MaxNoob Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 A study showed that the most annoying sound in the world is a baby crying. They evolved that way so you'll be compelled to do everything you can to get that baby to stop crying. Now imagine having to do that when you're sick in bed with flu. Can hardly get out of bed? Too bad, you must take care of this baby. Not for me. 1
SmileFace Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 1. I have no beliefs - What will I teach them? 2. I can't organize my own life - How can I fit kids into that? 3. I am not the best with money - How would I provide for them? 4. I don't want to get married or be in a ltr - Why would a kid want to live in that environment? 5. I am not fond of them - That is reason alone to not have kids. 6. They are tons of kids out there with no homes - Why add more when I can give my time to those kids. 7. My child hood - I would not want a kid to deal with that. 8. Commitment to a next human being - Yeah, no thanks. 9. Selfish - I am. 5
Titanwolf Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 I don't want to be tied down to one place tbh. I'd like to be able to say "Honey, let's go to Italy next week" or "Honey, I'm going sky diving, you want to come?". A child or children would leave me feeling restricted and that's my quickest route to depression. 2
aj22one Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 The idea of having children scares the living daylights out of me. I'd be the worst parent known to man. Lucky for me my wife don't want kids either.
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 People with young children look perpetually exhausted and stressed. It doesn't appeal to me. When I see people with small kids, I never think "aww I want that". I think what a relief not to have that responsibility. 4
zengirl Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 Because I want so many other things for my life. That's the answer at the end of the day. I love kids, but not enough for a lifetime commitment. I get to work with kids, so I get to be a small part of many children's lives. Hopefully I'll be remembered by some. That's good enough for me.
Eddie Edirol Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 Jesus, its hard to come up with new reasons when thy have all been stated. I echo the same as everyone else. I dont want the responsibility of molding new minds I actually hate being around anyone under 18 years old I dislike babies and toddlers especially, for some reason I dont think they are cute, but puppies and kittens I melt for. A couple cant find out till its too late that they arent compatible in having children together I want tether free travel I like having delicate things in my house I dont want the lifetime responsibility Theres so many other things to do in life other than have kids Kids make you age quicker And how does it impact your dating life? Surely there are cases where you fall in love before you reveal your true intentions regarding kids? It narrows down my choices significantly, but Ive learned to deal with it. I have learned to get the kids filter out of the way right in the beginning before getting attached. You have to, otherwise you could wind up making decisions that you dont really want. 1
stillafool Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 It's funny when I was a little girl I had so many baby dolls and loved to play Mommy and loved little babies. That went on until I was about 12 and my mother had to tell me to put away the dolls. When I turned 13 all of my maternal feelings seemed to have vanished and never returned. I started thinking puppies were cute and sweeter than babies. I hate to say it but I still feel that way. Everyone still tells me I should have been someones mother but I don't think so.
Ross MwcFan Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 What are your reasons for not wanting kids? 1. I would make a really bad parent as I'd be useless at knowing how to bring them up in the right way, and I'd be too scared of setting rules, telling them what to do etc, I'd give them too much free reign which may not be good for them, because I'd be too scared of being a control freak and making my kids miserable like my mum did with me. 2. They'd have my genes, they might find life very difficult and feel miserable like myself (although I don't feel as bad anymore as how I did feel for most of my life), they very well may wish that they weren't born. So it would be cruel of me to have them in the first place. 3. I find feel really weird and disturbing having a little me running around. 4. Costs too much, I don't think I would be able to give them a decent enough quality of life and they would probaby usually always have to go without because I wouldn't be able to afford it. This would also mean that I would have to go without as well. 5. With all the issues that I have, which means I'm not even able to look after my own life properly, how on Earth would I manage with looking after a kid? 6. I don't want that amount of responsibility, it's too much, I'd find looking after them to be too tiring, boring, and joyless. 7. I would pretty much have no free time for myself anymore, to do the things that I enjoy, my life would be boring, joyless, and souless, I'd just be existing, not living. 8. I have no urge to have kids, no desire, no craving. 9. It wouldn't make me happy, I wouldn't find it fun, it wouldn't be for me, it would make me feel unhappy in life. 10. The world is becoming over populated. 11. I already have enough worries as it is, if I had kids, I would also be having to worry about them. That's all I can think of for now, I'm sure there's probably more though. And how does it impact your dating life? Lol, what dating life? If I had one I can't see how it would be affected. It would effect having relationships/girlfriends though, having girlfriends and relationships would be a lot more limited since most women seem to want kids. Surely there are cases where you fall in love before you reveal your true intentions regarding kids? I dunno, I guess that could be true. I mean bringing up kids when you've just started dating someone, would feel quite embarrassing. I guess you'd have to try and phrase it in such a way that it doesn't sound like you're talking about the two of you having kids together. So yeah, I would try and bring it up as soon as possible.
Eddie Edirol Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 I started thinking puppies were cute and sweeter than babies. I hate to say it but I still feel that way. Everyone still tells me I should have been someones mother but I don't think so. Why do you hate to say it? Theres nothing wrong with this.
Ross MwcFan Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 (edited) There's more... 12. I wouldn't be able to take the complete lack of sleep, from the screaming and crying, and having to jump out of bed in the middle of the night (it takes me about 30 mins after waking up to get enough will power to crawl out of bed) to see to the baby. 13. What if the kid screams and cries all the time? I really can't stand the noise, I find it really horrible, whenever I hear a baby crying on the TV it makes me cringe and I have to mute the sound or change the channel. Edited June 28, 2012 by Ross MwcFan
El Brujo Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 What are your reasons for not wanting kids? 1. I remember my own kidhood and it was NOT a happy or fun time in my life 2. Kids are not allowed to do much... legally 3. If you have an intelligent kid, that's ok... but if you have a stupid kid, he'll be more trouble than he's worth 4. If you raise your son to be a stud or your daughter to be a spoiled princess, you're contributing to the problem 5. There are enough people in the world anyways without adding mine to the list 6. If you're an alpha male and your kids inherit cystic fibrosis or Tay Sach's then the joke's on you 7. I'd be the kind of delinquent dad who gives his kids fireworks, BB guns, and go-karts to play with because I wasn't allowed to have cool toys like those when I was a kid Need I say more???
stillafool Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 Why do you hate to say it? Theres nothing wrong with this. I guess it's because people expect humans to think their offsprings are cuter than an animals. I wonder if dogs think our babies are cuter than their puppies? I doubt it because they aren't. 1
El Brujo Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 I guess it's because people expect humans to think their offsprings are cuter than an animals. I wonder if dogs think our babies are cuter than their puppies? I doubt it because they aren't. Ya got that right. Animals usually kill their own babies that are born crippled or crazy. Humans stopped doing this a couple thousand years ago, and, well... look at the world now.
Pierre Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 (edited) reasons for not wanting children: Me, me, me, me, me, me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,-------------------- to infinite. Edited June 28, 2012 by Pierre 1
zengirl Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 reasons for not wanting children: Me, me, me, me, me, me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,me,-------------------- to infinite. It's the same reason for wanting children. It's a very egoistic idea to suggest YOUR genes need to be passed down. 5
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