Jlovepj1027 Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 (edited) Well I began this relationship with him over a year ago and everything was perfect, just amazing almost too good to be true, I mean he has some flaw but the way we are at least in my mind was just perfect! We were and still are very in sync with one another it's almost unreal. Until one evening his brother asked him to go out with him to meet up this girl and her friend was my mans ex! He kissed me like he always did on his way out me just said he was going out to eat with his brother only I had a bad feeling I figured out almost right away that he had lied. He didn't come home for 2 days and didn't answer my calls it texts. When he finally did come home he was covered in hickeys, bite marks and nail marks. She knew he had a girlfriend and that he lived with me, wh she brought him back like that I don't know. I had just gotten him a disney pass (out favorite place to go) we had done so many fun things together over the summer and he was always soooo invested in my daughter and I and never thought in a million years he would do this to me. He came home Confused and debating if he was going to go to Vegas and Marry her..I told him to marry her I couldn't stand the sight of him, I guess a couple days later she was over it and he was apologizing..2 weeks later I found out I was pregnant. He's apologized many times since as he is very ecstatic about the pregnancy and I am due in 4 days with his son. This happened in October and there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about it, cry about it or wonder if he would do it again..I never thought he would so how can I be so sure he won't again. I'm so hurt and feel as if I'm in second place always and that he would have always rather been with her. And I feel she won, if she wanted him she could have him and she proved it! It hurts, and he didn't once stop her from marking his body or care how it would hurt me when he came home to me. It kills me everyday. How do I ever over come these feelings of being defeated by her, insecure and deceived by him. I love him with all my heart and. Know he does love me but I can't let it go! Some days I'm so angry and all I can do is comptimplate how good I can look after I have this baby and get him back. I don't want be revengeful but I can't help it..what do I do?! Edited June 28, 2012 by Jlovepj1027
Philosoraptor Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 I'm not sure what to tell you here. You were hurt badly by someone who seemingly paid little mind to your feelings. The only thing I can suggest is individual and couples therapy to try and maneuver your way through this mess. What has he been doing to prove how he feels and that something like this would never happen again? 1
Robert P Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 He hurt you and your feelings. If you hated him, I'd tell you: dump him. But things are not that easy, are they? You still like him and you're pregnant. I mean, there are things which should be considered before making any decision. First, I think you should answer a question to yourself. You say that you're afraid he may cheat again in the future. Let me ask: if you were sure that he would never cheat on you; let's say that you could predict the future and you really knew that he would never cheat on you again; would it be enough for you to forgive him? Or for you to stay with him? I guess forgiveness never comes all at once. It's a process. It's something you must learn and reinforce everyday. More than this, this man needs to regain your confidence if he wants to stay with you again. He must prove - more than words - that he is with you now. Watch out how he acts, how he treats you, how he cares about your pregnancy. Pay attention if he's making plans about the future. Those are signals that maybe he really is looking forward to building a life with you. Look, you're not gonna forget what he did. At least it's not gonna happen soon. Be prepared for it. I think you're not gonna let him go. If you would, you wouldn't be doing those questions. I know where you are. When we ask "Should I stay with this person?", it's usually because we have already an answer - and it is yes -, and we'd like other people to teach us how to survive all the pain. One thing I think it's importante is: stop comparisons. Forget about that bitch. She is not better than you. She proved nothing. There's no competition in real life. Do you want to stay with him, marry him or anything like that? You need to rebuild your relationship. From day to day.
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