ihatedating Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 Hi, My ex who I still work with broke up with me last year. He did not give any warning and it was right before Valentine's Day and before a trip to Europe. He did not give me a clear reason and later I found out that he was back with his ex.He was very clear he did not want to be with me. I was deeply hurt and told him directly that I did not want to be friends with him anymore. The problem is that we work together and our job requires us to come in contact now and then. I have done my best to avoid him and be professional. However, he has been texting me intermittently lately. I was looking into buying a condo and he texted me that he would come with me to look at places if I wanted. He also tried to be helpful regarding open houses. I never asked him for any help. He has reached out a few other times and wished me happy bday last week. I am not sure what his angle is. Is he trying to be friends again? Should I tell him to stop contacting me? It hurts me everytime he contacts me because I still miss what we had. We even talked about getting married. Thoughts?
mortensorchid Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 He is just playing with you. A truly good person would just say "I'm closing the book on this and moving on", and would do just that. I hope he did not use that tired phrase "let's be friends" and is honestly trying to be friends with you. If I were in your situaiton, since you cannot avoid seeing him due to working conditions, I would have a heart to heart talk with him. Tell him that you know that you cannot avoid seeing each other due to your professional lives, but because of your personal past you no longer wish to have contact with him other than things work related. You are saying this in order to move on, and while you appreciate his friendly gestures you cannot successfully move on if you still see each other. If he reacts with anger or negatively, then tell him to not contact you at all for work or personal reasons and have someone else contact you for work reasons. Best of luck in this awkward situation.
Author ihatedating Posted June 28, 2012 Author Posted June 28, 2012 Thanks. My sister was mad that I even responded to any of his texts and that I have been nice to him. Ughh..I blame myself for that because a part of me still likes him. I think you are right to directly tell him. Wondering how I should do that? Ask him to coffee? He also lives across the street from me. I will be moving soon. Thank god.
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