girlonfire Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Last Thursday, I met someone great on a dating website. We're both 23. He's very friendly, and kind. We hit it off right away. After getting tired of throwing messages around, we exchanged phone numbers. All weekend, we were texting. Not non-stop, but we had so much in common. We had agreed to meet up the following Friday. After comparing work schedules, we decided to actually meet up earlier than planned: Monday. He picked me up from my work, and we went from there. We got coffee, and took a walk through a local park. It wasn't awkward at all; we both had each other smiling and laughing the whole time. We had plenty of stories and things about ourselves to share. We discussed bands that we both liked and the fact that they were coming to town through the summer. He even mentioned the fact that we should see his favorite band together later this summer. He told me stories about his friends and family and kept saying "if you ever get to meet _____," etc. He had to leave within a few hours to go to work, so he dropped me off. We hugged goodbye, and said it was great meeting each other. I asked him if he still wanted to hang out on Friday as planned, and he said definitely. Later on that day, I texted him saying that I had a lot of fun, and I really enjoyed hanging out with him. He said "Thanks! I had fun too!" We texted a few more times that night. The next day (Tuesday), I texted him hello later on in the evening. Nothing in response. In attempt to create conversation several hours later, I told him it was his turn in Words with Friends and (playfully) that he was getting his butt kicked. Nothing. (Now, I realized I was being ignored, rather than him being busy). We are still friends on Facebook. He played my word, and was posting around on Facebook, so I know that he was getting my texts (sorry if that sounds really juvenile, but it's just fact). Usually, he gets off from work in the morning right when I begin, so he'd text me in the morning, or reply if I had texted him first. I regret saying this but I asked "do you not want to talk to me anymore?) As expected, no response. I haven't said anything in return since. I didn't mean to appear as smothering, but I'm afraid it's too late. I just feel like he isn't telling me that he doesn't think it's going to work...which is a shame, because I feel like we hit it off so well! Should I still try and initiate hanging out when Friday comes along? Or would have he at least responded if he were still interested? Thanks for any advice!
Ninjainpajamas Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 You should probably sit outside where he lives, wait for him to come out to ask him..that way you'll know for sure IF he just keeps walking and ignoring you...but you know, maybe he just didn't see you! You're asking for it (bad treatment) If you continue to bend this far backwards for a guy...what do you think this says to a guy when you just keep contacting him and texting him? do you think he somehow feels that you are someone important or just a pushover that would be easy to string along? If a guy isn't contacting you, and you have to put that much effort then assume he isn't interested...and even If he did contact you and make up some excuse that means he's A)got something else going on B) decided to give you a chance because he sees an opportunity. It does not mean he was really into but under heavy gun fire, tried to make a barrel roll to contact you but a sniper from the 3rd floor shot his cell phone right out of his hand when he was about to call! It just doesn't happen, he has plenty of ways, options and means of contacting you...just because someone plays nice and respectful does not mean they were really that interested. So I'd walk away at this point complete...why bother? do you really want to beg for someones attention? If he's not into you now what the hell do you think he's going to treat you once he's "used" to you? this is the time he should be putting in all of his effort and showing you his best...unless he doesn't really care all that much. You don't just "blow it" (well you know what I mean) with guys, they just are either interested or not and there's nothing you could have done to change that...that was THEIR own interest level based on how they felt...get it? Not because you weren't X or X. 2
kiss_andmakeup Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 Ninja's post is the gospel truth. Read it several times. With all the ways to get in touch with someone now (text, phone, e-mail, facebook), there is literally no reason why he wouldn't be contacting you if he were into you. I don't care how busy he is with work, school, his grandma in the hospital, his dog at the vet, or a combination of all of the above; if he has time to eat and fulfill basic human needs, he has time to send a text. A guy who is interested will never leave you hanging for days on end. So he is just not interested. Stop texting him, for the love of god. Save the shred of dignity you have left. Remove him from facebook and from your contacts so that he's not even on your radar. You had one date...chalk it up to a learning experience and move on. 1
Leigh 87 Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 While this advice is all true - remember, that you did get along, and it did sound like he had a good time with you. He may very well have thought highly of you - he just wasn't attracted and/or interested. It sounds harsh when people tell the truth in your sort of situation! That " if he is not calling, he is into you". While it IS true - I think it lessens the blow and clarifies things, if you DO bear in mind that: - just because he was not into you, it does not mean he thought you were unnatractive and/or not a great girl. Guys knock back attractive girls who are not that suitable personality wise, and they knock back great girls who are not their type sexually/look wise - Maybe you were not his cup of tea, but he still enjoyed your company? Just remember, that it is not always indicative that a guy thinks your low quality and not good enough! Not being into you is just a natural insinct and feeling, and guys who very well think your pleasant to be around and that your not unatractibe, can STILL not be into you. ...I just hate the notion of a guy not being into you, and the feelings of " well, why wasn't I good enough". Because your not enough to make a guy want you, it can feel like a personal affront; when, really, it is not a effing job interview! You can still have great qualities, yet still not be a perfect fit for the job on offer. 1
Eddie Edirol Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 Most people are cowards. They aren't mature enough to deal with the awkwardness of telling you that they arent interested in you, so they fade out hoping you will get the hint. They dont want to deal with telling you why. It happens at all ages too. So dont worry about it, he just wasnt feeling it. Most people wont give you any kind of indication of what they dont like about you, so you will have to pick up on body language and cues to figure it out.
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