rose45 Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 I personally think online dating is hard but it's my only outlet after working, errands etc etc When you do finally talk and meet someone you think you could like and potentially be with--how do you deal with them continuing to log onto the site? I started talking with someone and we have gone out twice so far. (two days in a row) He seems like a good catch. It didn't bother me before we met that he logged on because it didn't seem too often but now since we met, for some reason it bothers me. We still are in some contact each day but I feel like maybe he is going on the site more often now making me think he made contact with someone else. I know we owe each other nothing at this point; we aren't exclusive, we just met. But it's just annoying after texting or talking to see he is logging onto the site. It makes me nervous because it already seems like there are slim pickings out there. I guess I am hoping this can continue to grow and I'm not competing with other girls (false hope, i know) How do I keep my cool and continue dating without ruining anything? I actually emailed him on the site joking saying guess who because I saw he was online and he wrote back joking around as well and I did the same. Nothing was said about why is he online or anything but I figure maybe he should know atleast that I am doing the same and know he is as well. How do I deal with that nervousness and touch of anxiety when I see he is going on the site? I know logically I should just ignore it, keep things light and fun, keep my cool and pretty much ignore all this until things develp (if they develop). But it's hard for me to do this I guess....
SincereOnlineGuy Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 The hurt/surprise/concern you feel in your heart is (normal in many ways)... but in today's wired and impersonal world there are lots and lots of others in the same place as you are. A sensible approach for you, though, would be to remind yourself that the best defense (for your feelings/concerns) is a great offense!! That is to say that if you find yourself stuck in a spot where you cringe every time an online guy logs into the dating site after you've met in real life, a good way to cope with that concern would be to ask HIM out again and keep your interest obvious in that way. If you're sitting home and waiting for the phone to ring, in much the same way you were doing in 1994 (or 1984) then you just aren't doing yourself any favors. Having met him previously a couple of times, the ritual which insists (to you) that the guy is supposed to phone the woman and extend the invitation ) should be thrown out the window. You have enough of a sense of what he's about, and it is perfectly OK and right for you to display your interest more clearly. Instead of having to combat your feelings every night, make efforts to fill those evenings with his company. (this way you won't look majorly insecure and will instead seem like a woman not afraid to go after what she wants )
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