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The guy can never treat his new girlfriend in a way that is anything close to "equal," nor can the wife her new boyfriend.

 

To add to what I said above. It CAN be done. I'm not saying no poly couples are fair-minded and loving. I just think for every one or two couples that accept outsiders and are very loving about it, not blatantly subordinating them to the original partners, there's eight or nine who just treat the new person like a low-priority side person. It's true that some couples "struggle" with polyamory and are trying to get to a certain point. The problem is, the "struggle" can last for a decade or two...

 

I wish more polyamorous couples knew how to put the "amorous" in polyamorous.

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