maysj18 Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 In what ways would you treat a FWB or hook-up differently than a woman you want a relationship with? Specifics please.
yongyong Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Will try to bang her ASAP Won't spend dime on her. Ask her to do dirty stuff from the beginning (cumming in her mouth, anal etc) Won't reveal private info. Won't take her to meet my friends. FWB means you are meeting her just for sex. To sum it up, I will just treat her like human sex toys
Mallow Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 When you're just a FWB you aren't expected to be taken on dates, meeting their friends or family. You're just there for the physical, a quick stop by then you're expected to leave. You don't get an emotional connection. You aren't seen as relationship potential, and eventually you'll be brushed off once your FWB has moved on. Many cases aren't as cold as the above.
Author maysj18 Posted June 27, 2012 Author Posted June 27, 2012 All of these pretty much make sense. So, is it usually that cut and dry? I, and many other girls I know, have this preconceived idea that men will go to extraordinary lengths to have sex with a girl, such as lying, stringing her along, and even making her feel like relationship material (i.e. meeting the friends and family, dates, etc.) This happened to me ONCE and so I know that it is not at all fair to categorize ALL guys that way, I just wanted to see if it is pretty black and white in MOST situations. Also, is it possible that a guy will become exclusive with a girl just because he likes the sex/physical chemistry or do guys usually commit only to girls they feel emotionally connected to as well?
oaks Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 In what ways would you treat a FWB or hook-up differently than a woman you want a relationship with? Specifics please. I can't really speak from experience since I don't generally do FWB (apart from perhaps a couple of cases of not-quite getting back together with exes, which is a bit different), but I think a defining characteristic (with me) would be that me and the woman would've discussed something about what sort of relationship will or won't be happening. So there won't be any 'stringing her along' because we'll both know that it's just sex (or whatever it is).
veggirl Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Not a dude, obvs, but ime no it is not always that cut and dry. Of course it can be, but look at many posts here on LS--the big difference is committment. A guy won't committ to a FWB but may still go out with her (friends!) or even intro her to family. He might hang out and watch movies with her, go to dinner, and then have sex. There is no committment though. Noooo you CAN'T get a guy into a relationship with just sex. 1
Mallow Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Also, is it possible that a guy will become exclusive with a girl just because he likes the sex/physical chemistry or do guys usually commit only to girls they feel emotionally connected to as well? It is possible. Some men will stay in a relationship just for the physical benefits, they will eventually move on when they find someone of interest.
Feelsgoodman Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Will try to bang her ASAP Won't spend dime on her. Ask her to do dirty stuff from the beginning (cumming in her mouth, anal etc) Why wouldn't you treat your GF the same way too?
yongyong Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 The thing is, even wh ores want to be treated like a lady. I met this chick in last minute at the bar. we talked for 20 mins and she invited me to her house. I banged the sxit out of her, came in her mouth and she swallowed it. Now how am I supposed to look at her? a possible GF??? F No. She was telling me I should take her out to the restaurant and was playing hard to get. so I just told her all I wanted to do was just to F her and cum all over her face. She got really mad and stopped talking to me. This is Women's Logic. If the guy wants to bang a chick that night, he should talk about things that couples do (walking on the beach, cooking together, learning dance etc) and hide his real intentions. When I want to just bang a girl next time, I won't tell her 'hey I just want to sleep with you tonight' because that's not what women want to hear. So women just can't blame on guys about lying. you just want to get fxcked by that guy but as soon as he talks about his real intention, your puxsy dries. Am I wrong????????????? All of these pretty much make sense. So, is it usually that cut and dry? I, and many other girls I know, have this preconceived idea that men will go to extraordinary lengths to have sex with a girl, such as lying, stringing her along, and even making her feel like relationship material (i.e. meeting the friends and family, dates, etc.) This happened to me ONCE and so I know that it is not at all fair to categorize ALL guys that way, I just wanted to see if it is pretty black and white in MOST situations. Also, is it possible that a guy will become exclusive with a girl just because he likes the sex/physical chemistry or do guys usually commit only to girls they feel emotionally connected to as well?
Andy_K Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 All of these pretty much make sense. So, is it usually that cut and dry? I, and many other girls I know, have this preconceived idea that men will go to extraordinary lengths to have sex with a girl, such as lying, stringing her along, and even making her feel like relationship material (i.e. meeting the friends and family, dates, etc.) This happened to me ONCE and so I know that it is not at all fair to categorize ALL guys that way, I just wanted to see if it is pretty black and white in MOST situations. You're confusing FWB and 'pump and dump', they're not the same thing. FWB implies an established agreement between the two of you that it's sex only, and this produces all the behaviours the other posters have given, like no calls, getting dirty ASAP, etc. What you've described however, is being deceived for sex. This is where there had been no sex yet, and no agreement of sex only - probably because the girl isn't looking for that - and the guy says anything that will help him to get the girl into bed, without any consideration of her feelings. A guy can do FWB with integrity and honesty, but using for sex or pump/dump requires the guy has little in the way of empathy or morals. You should be able to judge a guy's general character well enough after a few dates to know if this is the case.
Author maysj18 Posted June 27, 2012 Author Posted June 27, 2012 The thing is, even wh ores want to be treated like a lady. I met this chick in last minute at the bar. we talked for 20 mins and she invited me to her house. I banged the sxit out of her, came in her mouth and she swallowed it. Now how am I supposed to look at her? a possible GF??? F No. She was telling me I should take her out to the restaurant and was playing hard to get. so I just told her all I wanted to do was just to F her and cum all over her face. She got really mad and stopped talking to me. This is Women's Logic. If the guy wants to bang a chick that night, he should talk about things that couples do (walking on the beach, cooking together, learning dance etc) and hide his real intentions. When I want to just bang a girl next time, I won't tell her 'hey I just want to sleep with you tonight' because that's not what women want to hear. So women just can't blame on guys about lying. you just want to get fxcked by that guy but as soon as he talks about his real intention, your puxsy dries. Am I wrong????????????? I feel bad for any woman who has slept with you. I mean, it's her own fault but you really can't be upset when you decide to be honest with her and then she wants nothing to do with you anymore. You got what you wanted, so count your losses and move on. You say that women can't blame you for lying? Really? I mean, yeah, their standards should be higher and it's a bit stupid of them for believing you, but you lied then admitted to it. Of course they are going to get mad. Get over it.
Author maysj18 Posted June 27, 2012 Author Posted June 27, 2012 You're confusing FWB and 'pump and dump', they're not the same thing. FWB implies an established agreement between the two of you that it's sex only, and this produces all the behaviours the other posters have given, like no calls, getting dirty ASAP, etc. What you've described however, is being deceived for sex. This is where there had been no sex yet, and no agreement of sex only - probably because the girl isn't looking for that - and the guy says anything that will help him to get the girl into bed, without any consideration of her feelings. A guy can do FWB with integrity and honesty, but using for sex or pump/dump requires the guy has little in the way of empathy or morals. You should be able to judge a guy's general character well enough after a few dates to know if this is the case. Yep, I learned fast; however, it is still a bit unnerving how subtle the red flags were that I overlooked. Now I feel like my guard is up 100% of the time and it's hard to let loose and not judge every word that comes out of my boyfriend's mouth. I don't let him know how sensitive I am, because it's my problem and I'm not about to push him away, but my mind races all the time. I just try to think of the positive: he chased me, waited almost a month to make a move, never pushes himself on me, and asked me to be his girlfriend. Plus, 90% of the time we spend together we are doing something other than sex. It's just the little comments he makes here and there that make me mad/scared. :/
InJest Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 I've had a few FWB, and they weren't as cold as what the others here have described. I treat them like a friend. We would talk, not really about personal stuff, but just shoot the ****. We usually didn't hang out for very long before or after sex, but sometimes we would do things together. I took one to the store to get a snow shovel, and shoveled her car out for her. I see it as a friendship based on sex.
yongyong Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 I am not upset. I didn't lie to the chick either. I just learned the lesson. If I want to bang the chick next time, I won't talk about anything sexual. If I want to keep banging that chick, I will still hide my intentions. (instead of saying 'let me come over to fxck you', I would say 'let me come over to say hi to your puppy'. Both of us know what is going to happen. but that's what WOMEN WANT TO HEAR) I am sure a guy invited You to his house for a movie and you slept with him. you didn't feel slutty because you came for movie, not for sex and IT JUST HAPPENED. that's the women's logic I was talking about. As far as lying goes, I don't know what kind of level you are talking about. From the bottom trailer trash chick to the first lady, they will all say 'yeah I am a good girl' If she is not a good girl, should I blame her for lying? I feel bad for any woman who has slept with you. I mean, it's her own fault but you really can't be upset when you decide to be honest with her and then she wants nothing to do with you anymore. You got what you wanted, so count your losses and move on. You say that women can't blame you for lying? Really? I mean, yeah, their standards should be higher and it's a bit stupid of them for believing you, but you lied then admitted to it. Of course they are going to get mad. Get over it.
Author maysj18 Posted June 27, 2012 Author Posted June 27, 2012 I am not upset. I didn't lie to the chick either. I just learned the lesson. If I want to bang the chick next time, I won't talk about anything sexual. If I want to keep banging that chick, I will still hide my intentions. (instead of saying 'let me come over to fxck you', I would say 'let me come over to say hi to your puppy'. Both of us know what is going to happen. but that's what WOMEN WANT TO HEAR) I am sure a guy invited You to his house for a movie and you slept with him. you didn't feel slutty because you came for movie, not for sex and IT JUST HAPPENED. that's the women's logic I was talking about. As far as lying goes, I don't know what kind of level you are talking about. From the bottom trailer trash chick to the first lady, they will all say 'yeah I am a good girl' If she is not a good girl, should I blame her for lying? Nope, never did. I won't put out at all unless I'm in a monogamous, exclusive relationship. If I did, I would feel slutty because to me that is a slutty thing to do. I don't understand mindlessly hooking up with someone you aren't emotionally connected to. You said in a previous post, "If the guy wants to bang a chick that night, he should talk about things that couples do (walking on the beach, cooking together, learning dance etc) and hide his real intentions." That sounds much more manipulative than just saying "Come over and watch a movie." (which usually implies hooking up) If you go as far as to make her feel that you have or could have more feelings than you do, that's pathetic. If you just use the movie line though, then that's not really lying as long as you don't change your game if she turns you down. And yes, if you are looking for a good girl with morals and she says she is one then turns out to have a hefty past, then you should be upset with her for lying. I never said women didn't lie or shouldn't be held to the same standards. 2
stillafool Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Also, is it possible that a guy will become exclusive with a girl just because he likes the sex/physical chemistry or do guys usually commit only to girls they feel emotionally connected to as well? I would say they will stay for the sex/physical chemistry but feeling emotionally connected will make them fall in love.
yongyong Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 you are talking about ideal world. I am pretty straight forward, honest talker. it offends people and women lose interests when I talk this way. Think about how many times you lie each day for sake of having relationships with people. how the f-manipulative you are? Anyways, Guys don't listen to her if you want to get laid by Average women. Nope, never did. I won't put out at all unless I'm in a monogamous, exclusive relationship. If I did, I would feel slutty because to me that is a slutty thing to do. I don't understand mindlessly hooking up with someone you aren't emotionally connected to. You said in a previous post, "If the guy wants to bang a chick that night, he should talk about things that couples do (walking on the beach, cooking together, learning dance etc) and hide his real intentions." That sounds much more manipulative than just saying "Come over and watch a movie." (which usually implies hooking up) If you go as far as to make her feel that you have or could have more feelings than you do, that's pathetic. If you just use the movie line though, then that's not really lying as long as you don't change your game if she turns you down. And yes, if you are looking for a good girl with morals and she says she is one then turns out to have a hefty past, then you should be upset with her for lying. I never said women didn't lie or shouldn't be held to the same standards.
InJest Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Having a lot of sexual partners doesn't mean you don't have morals. You need to grow up and get off your high horse.
Author maysj18 Posted June 27, 2012 Author Posted June 27, 2012 Having a lot of sexual partners doesn't mean you don't have morals. You need to grow up and get off your high horse. Lol, please tell me where I said that? I said no emotional attachment doesn't do it for me and I consider it slutty to have sex with a random people. Never did I mention numbers. It's WHY you do it, not necessarily how many you do it with, that makes you a slut. And in my defense, I think wanting substance before sex is a pretty "grown up" outlook.
betterdeal Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 I'd be friendly with them and have sexual relations with them. I wouldn't expect exclusivity or get involved in their business any more so than I would a friend. I would not feel emotionally close to that person except on a heat-of-the-moment basis. That's what FWB means to me. As for whether or not someone is a slut, meh, that's just a name.
InJest Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Actually, you're wrong. You said sleeping with someone outside of a monogamous, exclusive relationship is a slutty thing to do. Then you went on to say, "if you are looking for a good girl with morals and she says she is one then turns out to have a hefty past, then you should be upset at her for lying". I just think judging people on this type stuff is what you need to grow up and stop doing. Having many partners doesn't make a person amoral or a liar if they say they're a good person. Nothing wrong with wanting substance before sleeping with someone. Just curious, how old are you? I'm gonna guess younger than 22. It doesn't really matter, but I want to see how many parallels I can draw with you and someone you remind me of.
Author maysj18 Posted June 27, 2012 Author Posted June 27, 2012 Actually, you're wrong. You said sleeping with someone outside of a monogamous, exclusive relationship is a slutty thing to do. Then you went on to say, "if you are looking for a good girl with morals and she says she is one then turns out to have a hefty past, then you should be upset at her for lying". I just think judging people on this type stuff is what you need to grow up and stop doing. Having many partners doesn't make a person amoral or a liar if they say they're a good person. Nothing wrong with wanting substance before sleeping with someone. Just curious, how old are you? I'm gonna guess younger than 22. It doesn't really matter, but I want to see how many parallels I can draw with you and someone you remind me of. 1) I said it was a slutty thing TO ME. I don't "judge" people for it, just like I don't judge people for smoking even though I think it's nasty. It's just not something I would do. To each their own. 2) I was answering his scenario. Generally speaking, a "good" girl is innocent and not promiscuous, therefore I gave a very general response to a very general question. Of course to a certain extent the number of partners you have doesn't dictate if you're easy or not. And yes, I am 21.
WonderKid Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 I've had FWB before. It isn't an algebra test or rocket science. It is what it is. I treat all people with respect. I would treat her like a person. She's getting benefits too not just me. I give great body massages. And in some cases that's how it all started. I'd txt them after they get off work, and its the perfect time to work out all those kinks in their body and then some. But I slowed down on the FWB thing because I can't help but to treat women good. And in more cases the women got too personal with it. They wanted more than FWB but for other various reasons I couldn't handle that. So I put a lid on it.
justrandomchicks1 Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 ermm what about how women treat their fwbs it can go both ways you know... 1
yongyong Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 OP how about answering this question? I was talking to this chick online. she is art major and knows french. so I brought up this french painter I only saw on TV. she asked me if I liked him. I told her 'I like his style' so I don't have knowledge in arts but I told her that she can relates to me. I don't mind going to art gallery with her though. So in your analogy, I am a guy who lies just to get that pusxy, is that right? If you don't agree with people, you tell them straight. you tell them things you like and you don't like without Thinking because it's more about honesty than the relationship. Am I right?
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