Author Titanwolf Posted June 27, 2012 Author Posted June 27, 2012 (edited) Why would you stay faithful to a Chinese woman? I don't know why, but that made me lol. Anyway, I don't mean Chinese. Probably Thai or Japanese *scratches chin* and my honest answer to that is, they hold different morals (research has led me to believe), they have one of, if not, the lowest infidelity rates and it makes me think that maybe they know something that Western women don't? who knows? I'll find out when I travel there. I'm aware of the recent generations changing though, as they become more exposed to western culture. That's what I've gathered from a little research and word of mouth (I.e Japanese friends). Just realized you were talking to Yongyong. Still, these are my sentiments. Edited June 27, 2012 by Titanwolf
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 I don't know why, but that made me lol. Anyway, I don't mean Chinese. Probably Thai or Japanese *scratches chin* Oh. When you said "from the east," I thought you were talking about east of the Mississippi. Yes, I can remain faithful these days. No problem whatsoever. I'm inherently monogamous. So's my husband. 1
Author Titanwolf Posted June 27, 2012 Author Posted June 27, 2012 ^^ I am genuinely happy to hear that
Pyro Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Came back home from work today and my neighbour (nice elderly lady) says she saw one of my family friends (whom she knows) kissing a girl around the corner. Now, the problem with this is, he's engaged. Now I'm not judging him and I don't know what his reasons were, but it seems like every time I consider a relationship again, there's something in life that says "Dafuq is wrong with you?" True story. Also, when you find those rare gems who are truly able to remain faithful, finding a partner who is equally adamant in exclusivity, is damn near impossible. Would you say, most people view monogamy as outdated? of course people can remain faithful these days. Finding the right partner for isn't going to happen overnight, so be prepared to sort through 'the garbage' before you find the right one.
HHC Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 Is your husband sleeping with other people too? Or is he just whipped? My husband and I have made a pact to always encourage and support the other in whatever makes them happy, as long as it doesn't damage what we have. For now his desire don't include other people. He's definitely not whipped.
sally4sara Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 I don't know why, but that made me lol. Anyway, I don't mean Chinese. Probably Thai or Japanese *scratches chin* and my honest answer to that is, they hold different morals (research has led me to believe), they have one of, if not, the lowest infidelity rates and it makes me think that maybe they know something that Western women don't? who knows? I'll find out when I travel there. I'm aware of the recent generations changing though, as they become more exposed to western culture. That's what I've gathered from a little research and word of mouth (I.e Japanese friends). Just realized you were talking to Yongyong. Still, these are my sentiments. You should talk to one of our closest friends about how his and a few of his colleagues Thai wives became ex wives and the antics they got up to before the marriage ended. It was an exchange program with some other folks. They lived in Thailand for many years and relationships were built while they lived over there. It seemed, at least with the case of the people they had these relationships with, staying faithful only mattered to them while their parents could witness their behavior. Once an ocean divided them from their family, it was time to let their hair and much much more down. I would wonder, in cultures where parents are more overbearing, how much of their children's' behavior is truly about morals they hold and how much of it is fear of reprisal from their parents. It does seem that monogamy is difficult for many in the long haul. I remember hearing about a reshaping of marriage idea to one where marriages would become like renewable contracts that, when the contract expired, the couple could negotiate to renew or not. You go into it with a predetermined and agreed upon resolution on the division of property and parenting in case one or both did not want to renew.
DjinnAgain Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 People who cheat are scum and should be banned from relationships with non-cheaters. I cheated once when I was a teenager and imbibed a lot at a party before my ex boyfriend showed up (Yes, I was stupid in so many ways back then.). Afterwards, I cried nonstop until I saw my boyfriend the next day and told him. I have not cheated since--- opportunities yet I have had no temptation. Knowing I had done that felt worse than finding out my ex husband cheated on me, honestly. Point is, people make mistakes and I don't think most people cheat as a pasttime.
Author Titanwolf Posted June 28, 2012 Author Posted June 28, 2012 You should talk to one of our closest friends about how his and a few of his colleagues Thai wives became ex wives and the antics they got up to before the marriage ended. It was an exchange program with some other folks. They lived in Thailand for many years and relationships were built while they lived over there. It seemed, at least with the case of the people they had these relationships with, staying faithful only mattered to them while their parents could witness their behavior. Once an ocean divided them from their family, it was time to let their hair and much much more down. I would wonder, in cultures where parents are more overbearing, how much of their children's' behavior is truly about morals they hold and how much of it is fear of reprisal from their parents. It does seem that monogamy is difficult for many in the long haul. I remember hearing about a reshaping of marriage idea to one where marriages would become like renewable contracts that, when the contract expired, the couple could negotiate to renew or not. You go into it with a predetermined and agreed upon resolution on the division of property and parenting in case one or both did not want to renew. They changed their behaviour because they switched cultures? or because they genuinely wanted to?. I'd think that's more a case of becoming corrupted or better yet "assimilated" into a different culture, where that kind of thing is normal. That's actually not a bad idea though, an ongoing, renewable contract between two parties. I was swayed more towards Japan anyway, unless you have stories from there too?
sally4sara Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 They changed their behaviour because they switched cultures? or because they genuinely wanted to?. I'd think that's more a case of becoming corrupted or better yet "assimilated" into a different culture, where that kind of thing is normal. That's actually not a bad idea though, an ongoing, renewable contract between two parties. I was swayed more towards Japan anyway, unless you have stories from there too? Well in the case of the guy from that group I know the best, no way was it corruption. And this talk of assimilation? I'm an American and the stuff she got up to was appalling to me so I don't get why you think American = no morals or relationship fortitude. You might want to work on your own attitude because you're just coming off rude and bigoted to me. I don't believe that what happened to my friend is the only outcome for anyone marrying a Thai girl. I only know that there is no culture that will guarantee you a good and well matched spouse. Life guarantees none of us anything so looking at any culture as all good or all bad is stupid. Don't be stupid. She, when they were newly married, explained to me that she felt out from under her parents watch and that there was a huge double standard where she grew up. She said, and mind you this is her little slice of experience, that it was very common for marriages to become sexless after having a child or two, that women were expected to be mothers and keep the home once the children were born and it was completely acceptable that her husband would take a new lover; either a younger sex worker type or a ladyboy (considered to be neither male or female but a third gender altogether). She seemed to detest this and felt she had "escaped" by marrying a guy who would get her US citizenship. I, and others who saw how she behaved socially, began to suspected that she didn't intend to be staying married to our friend for long. But he didn't want to hear any of us on the matter. Shortly after her citizenship came through, she would disappear for a day or two or go out, not want him along, and not come home till the next day. They didn't last a full year after that. I don't know all the factors at play for the other 4 people who came back with relationship partners from the same area but its now 6 years later and of them only one of the marriages is still in tact and that was between a US girl and her Thai husband. 1
AD1980 Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 Sites like these makes me even more paranoid seeing threads about women talking about intense crushes they have while theyre in relationships but i realize this site isnt like the general population and is filled with a lot of broken people relationship wise
Author Titanwolf Posted June 28, 2012 Author Posted June 28, 2012 Well in the case of the guy from that group I know the best, no way was it corruption. And this talk of assimilation? I'm an American and the stuff she got up to was appalling to me so I don't get why you think American = no morals or relationship fortitude. You might want to work on your own attitude because you're just coming off rude and bigoted to me. I don't believe that what happened to my friend is the only outcome for anyone marrying a Thai girl. I only know that there is no culture that will guarantee you a good and well matched spouse. Life guarantees none of us anything so looking at any culture as all good or all bad is stupid. Don't be stupid. She, when they were newly married, explained to me that she felt out from under her parents watch and that there was a huge double standard where she grew up. She said, and mind you this is her little slice of experience, that it was very common for marriages to become sexless after having a child or two, that women were expected to be mothers and keep the home once the children were born and it was completely acceptable that her husband would take a new lover; either a younger sex worker type or a ladyboy (considered to be neither male or female but a third gender altogether). She seemed to detest this and felt she had "escaped" by marrying a guy who would get her US citizenship. I, and others who saw how she behaved socially, began to suspected that she didn't intend to be staying married to our friend for long. But he didn't want to hear any of us on the matter. Shortly after her citizenship came through, she would disappear for a day or two or go out, not want him along, and not come home till the next day. They didn't last a full year after that. I don't know all the factors at play for the other 4 people who came back with relationship partners from the same area but its now 6 years later and of them only one of the marriages is still in tact and that was between a US girl and her Thai husband. It seems my view has rustled your jimmies. I'm not saying American culture-no morals, I'm saying that there's culture differences that's all. If I knew exactly what she did then maybe I wouldn't have been able to draw a comparison. It would seem like there's a pattern, maybe one that suggests that men shouldn't marry Thai girls but like I said, I was thinking more Japanese anyway.
Pierre Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 Came back home from work today and my neighbour (nice elderly lady) says she saw one of my family friends (whom she knows) kissing a girl around the corner. Now, the problem with this is, he's engaged. Now I'm not judging him and I don't know what his reasons were, but it seems like every time I consider a relationship again, there's something in life that says "Dafuq is wrong with you?" True story. Also, when you find those rare gems who are truly able to remain faithful, finding a partner who is equally adamant in exclusivity, is damn near impossible. Would you say, most people view monogamy as outdated? You must keep great company. Birds of the same feather fly together. Cheating is great until the one you love f****s someone else behind your back.
Author Titanwolf Posted June 28, 2012 Author Posted June 28, 2012 You must keep great company. Birds of the same feather fly together. Cheating is great until the one you love f****s someone else behind your back. Not sure if insulting . I will say that I only have one person whom I consider a friend. "Family friend" is just that, a friend of the family, not mine personally. Cheating is retarded, for retarded people < is what I would have said in my teenage years, but now I think, cheating is for those either too weak, or too scared to commit themselves to a person. They usually don't realize that sex is only a very VERY small portion of life. Just my opinion of course. 1
yongyong Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 (edited) If a girl likes me as who I am and doesn't care about if I can't get a girl or not, then I can be faithful to her. To 98% of American women, your value changes depends on how many women you are with. I understand their psychology though. they want to get something that's pursued by others too. As I bang more women and am banging few women at the same time, their interest level goes up. Do you think I am going to change this behavior because I got into relationship? She can't blame me 100% since that's how she was attracted to me. Sometimes I get player accusation. 'you bring girls every week to your house huh? giggle' I don't deny it and play along with it. What if I tell her, 'no actually it doesn't happen that much...but I like you...' ?????? Real example. This American girl dated this guy for a while. The guy is pretty popular. she didn't like him hanging out with female friends during their relationship. Somehow he proposed to her and they got married. now she is worried he might divorce her because she tells him not to hangout with female friends and he doesn't like to be controlled. I told her you knew he was popular among women. it's something you would have to deal with. I am going to ask this question to her 'So his looks and personality doesn't change. But you saw him getting no dates, no girls around him. Would you be attracted to him the same way?' I think she might say 'no I wouldn't care if he couldn't get any women, I like him the way he is' But I know this is typical women B.S. Edited June 28, 2012 by yongyong
without Posted July 7, 2012 Posted July 7, 2012 Not sure if insulting . I will say that I only have one person whom I consider a friend. "Family friend" is just that, a friend of the family, not mine personally. Cheating is retarded, for retarded people < is what I would have said in my teenage years, but now I think, cheating is for those either too weak, or too scared to commit themselves to a person. They usually don't realize that sex is only a very VERY small portion of life. Just my opinion of course. Loved this quote.
KathyM Posted July 7, 2012 Posted July 7, 2012 I think the vast majority (99%) from what I've read, go into marriage with the intent of being monogamous, but unfortunately, when the marriage hits some rough spots, some people use that as an excuse to look for companionship/sex elsewhere. Some people, also, don't have it in them to be monogamous because they are into immediate gratification, and so they give in to their childish, impulsive nature, rather than exercise self control for the sake of the bigger picture. I think most people do stay monogamous during their marriage. The rates of infidelity are something like 30% to 50% of husbands who cheat on their wives, and 20% to 45% of wives who cheat. That would mean that the majority of married people do stay monogamous.
morichu Posted July 7, 2012 Posted July 7, 2012 Never understood why people cheat at all. It's hard enough to get into a relationship so why the hell would you wanna risk it by cheating? What happens if you get an STD or get someone else pregnant? Good luck explaining that one to your partner. I feel like eventually the partner will find out anyway. Can't think of many times where someone was cheating and never got caught.
MrCastle Posted July 7, 2012 Posted July 7, 2012 I very much believe in monogamy. I've never cheated on anyone. If we're in an exclusive relationship, you're it. I only have eyes for you. Now; in the event that there is someone else out there that tickles my fancy, and I feel tempted, I will definitely tell my partner things aren't working out and set her free. I would not try to have my cake and eat it too, sleep with someone else behind her back and creep around. Cowards do that. If you are attracted to someone else, do your SO justice and break it off with them.
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