Razortosh Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Hey people. I’m new here this is my first post and I feel like I need feedback or support on my current breakup.... Basically me and my ex broke up a week and a half ago... it was a long distance relationship but that played no part in the ending of the relationship but it played a small role in my insecurities. She was from Greece and she studied in England but quite a distance from my hometown; we would commute to see each other and it was all amazing we fell in love with each other in a short space of time and generally just hit it off. There came times when she was going to go back to Greece, times like Christmas, Easter and summer. But she always wanted me to go with her to try but I found it a real stress to save up the funds to go as often as I could and gradually worried more and more as I knew the time was coming for her to leave... Don’t get me wrong I did trust her... it was just she LOVED Greece she HATED England the only thing she had in England was me...and it felt like when she went to Greece she could just forget about me, she never did though she made an effort to always contact me. But it always had me down that she went back and contact was less but it was obvious that would happen...in the end I guess I was jealous...IT led to insecurities I brought up about her ex boyfriends I knew all the ex's were Greek and I was the only English guy she had ever been with (she hates English men) but I was an exception. She claimed to be madly in love with me and never wanted to break up... Gradually all my insecurities got worse I would ALWAYS compare myself to her main ex...I WANTED to be the best person in her life even though she told me I was the best thing that happened to her I couldn’t bring myself to believe it. Issues kept rising and we would bicker at things after I time I changed towards her...I knew what I could get away with and I would use it to get answers I didn’t want to hear that made me worse. she always told me that I was going to push her away one day and ill regret it but I took them words lightly I NEVER expected it to actually happen. Well gradually the time came when it was her to leave for the summer; she would be gone from June till Sep. She wanted me to come so badly and tried to make me book flights look for work in Greece but in the end it was all her making the effort to do it, in which she did. She left 10 days before me and on the day she was about to leave we had an argument and I threatened to cancel my flight and not come. It broke her down into tears she was in pain but I didn’t really feel anything to comfort her. The journey to the airport she started grabbing my hand stroking me telling me to not cancel that we can work she loved me so much and that she knows it will work. I did end up booking my flight and going we had a room that we were going to live at and she prepared a job for me to work in the summer. I failed the job and she was in tears again. I could tell she didn’t know what to do. Neither did I but I never suggested anything she made all the decisions and she didn’t have anything left in her. Later on whilst lying down she started crying then told me that she doesn’t feel the same way anymore and that she has fell out of love with me. I was in awe. I couldn’t believe it. It felt like she had brought me here to break up I felt so horrible and I couldn’t take it I suggested if she wanted a break. She thought about it and said yes she wanted a break; she needs to reset and to rekindle our romance and relationship to how it was. But I didn’t know what to do in a break...do it mean I go home? I stay? I didn’t want to go! I wanted to stay and work it out there! I thought I was just a minor bump but this is what she was thinking down the line on her own for a while. I didn’t end up accepting the break because I thought 3 months of not seeing would be too much and what if she meets someone. What if I meet someone? She said she had no intention of meeting anyone but I couldn’t bring myself around to believe that. I decided to stay. But not with her one of my friends lived with his GF there who own a hotel so I got dropped off there and literally didn’t see her again till a week later when I booked a flight and went home. that week was devastating I was begging her to come back see me begging to get back with her shouting abuse at her etc I couldn’t get my head around it how could she have just fallen out of love begged me to come here then leave me here??? I decided I HAD to go home. I asked her to take me if she could and she agreed too. she took me to the airport and I did ask a few stupid question like would she miss me is there any chance etc it was certain in her head she didn’t want me by the she was so cold towards me it felt like I didn’t know her anymore. She waited at check-in with me till I was going to leave then we hugged each other. She told me vie never hugged her as affectionate as that before, and left me thinking why didn’t I ever do that? Why only when I lose it can I show how much I want it. I asked her if we ever had a chance in the future to get back together, I would want to talk and discuss where we went wrong because I truly believe we never once did that. I left for England came home and seen all her stuff in my room it hurt. It felt like I was still with her but I know I wasn’t. I wasn’t going to see her till she came back in sep to get her stuff and she planned to move to Manchester with me but now she’s just going to find a flat somewhere in Manchester. It’s been 2 days and the only message vie got from here was I hope I arrived home safely. In which I replied I did thanks for asking. then I sent a message to her telling her that being in Manchester will be hard for her (in the sense she will be alone) I said I will be there in any way to help u find a job or look for a house that I can scout in my spare time and I wished her to have a happy summer. She didn’t reply to it and it hurt me. In no egotistical way I get told I’m a really attractive male and that I could apparently get any girl. I don’t want anyone but her yet she told me she lost attraction to me. I know I’m going to see her when she comes back from summer, and I really want to get her back I want to show that I can be a different person vie talked to a lot of friends about my wrong doings and bad happenings in the relationship and realized I should’ve been doing that with her. I really want a second chance, but it just seems she doesn’t care or even think about me in the slightest anymore. There is nothing for me. The only hope I have is that when she comes back and sees me as a changed person she would fall back in love with me. Am I thinking this right? What should I be doing? I had been bettering myself in every way since the breakup dealing with my job getting back on track looking for new hobbies going to the gym generally jumping out my comfort zone. But I really want her to see this, and no I’m not doing it for her I’m doing it because I WANT to be a secure steady person. Any advice would be greatly appreciated sorry for the long post!
Philosoraptor Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 She's made her choice and all you can do is accept it and move on. Stop contacting her as you've already seen that it hurts you. Just take care of yourself right now and treat yourself kindly. Take it a moment at a time and be patient with yourself.
Author Razortosh Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 Wow... I honestly cant believe im back here again.... I got granted my second chance by her when she came back. More to the point where she genuinely missed me and wanted me back. Ive made the same mistakes as i had with her before...weve broken up again and i feel such a deep hole in myself. I didnt want it to end this way I want to work things out but she told me she deserves better and wants to move on... Im lost.
Mack05 Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Wow... I honestly cant believe im back here again.... I got granted my second chance by her when she came back. More to the point where she genuinely missed me and wanted me back. Ive made the same mistakes as i had with her before...weve broken up again and i feel such a deep hole in myself. I didnt want it to end this way I want to work things out but she told me she deserves better and wants to move on... Im lost. no offence mate but it was obvious if you got a second chance that it will fail again. You have done nothing to address the issues which caused the problems in the first place and she has the emotional maturity of a grapefruit. This 'relationship' never stood a chance..
TaraMaiden Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Right. Well, two things concern me here. One, that you repeat mistakes. Two, that you even make them in the first place. First of all, how old are you?
Sugarkane Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 It kind of blew my mind someone could hate England?! How strange. Especially Manchester?! I would LOVE to go there and regret not being able to go sooner (my family comes from UK).
Am4Real Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Like the Irish ? That was funny. However, don't the Scotts' detest them as well??
Recommended Posts