pattyfromMV Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 My H had an affair with my bff and now she's 2months pregnant. He decided to call it off before we found out she was pregnant.( Well a week later ). I see him here with me and trying t o deal with the pain he caused me and his guilt. He worries about the baby and doing the right thing. I'm trying my best to understanding and support him but for some reason he shuts me out . He seems to be going thru a depression stage and I honestly don't know how to handle this being that I too am hurting and even had to go to doc to get anxiety depression meds. I love him and I know he loveS me but is confused, He had a 6 month emotional affair with her and now the baby. Has anyone been in my shoes and how did you handle it. I'm trying my best to forgive and live in peace and support his decision to care for the baby but i feel like I'm left out. I went as far as writing to her and telling her I forgave her and only wanted what was best for the baby . That at some point we were going to see each other and we might as well get it over with and talk it out. She hasn't responded but I'll wait to see what happens. any advice would be greatly appreciated .
CC12 Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 I think it was really great of you to reach out to her and let her know that you're not terribly angry with her. Even if she doesn't respond, I'm sure she feels better knowing your position on this. If she doesn't want to talk to you or accept your forgiveness, which is her right, at least you've done all you can as far as her. He had a 6 month emotional affair with her It was more than an emotional affair. It was also obviously a sexual affair. I wonder if you're sugar-coating this for our benefit, or if this is what you tell yourself so that you don't have to face the reality? I'm trying my best to forgive and live in peace and support his decision to care for the baby but i feel like I'm left out. You will be left out for most of this. Get used to it. There's a baby, a mother, and a father, and you are not any of those, so you don't really get a vote in what happens with that kid. You will basically be a step-mother, so try to ease yourself into that role, where you let the kid's mother and father make the decisions, and you are secondary. I'm not saying that to be mean, but it's true that once a child comes into the picture, he or she is the most important thing. Fact. This is what you've chosen by staying with a man who cheated on you and impregnated another woman. You just have to either accept it, or leave. You're in a tough spot. Good luck with everything.
Recommended Posts