DudeMan27 Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Hey everyone. Havent been in this forum is quite some time. Not gonna go into a whole lot of detail but once again the ex sends a random text, out of nowhere after we havent spoken in months on end, and now I can't quit thinking about her. My ex and I havent seen each other in over 2 years, but I'll get a random text from her here or there and we just catch up real quick. I admittedly havent really dated anyone since becuase I do still miss her and think of her. The last time we spoke was around christmas she sent me a message on facebook chat just asking how I was doing and we exchanged "have a nice holiday's" We havent spoken since, but in the almost 7 months since, she's "liked" two of my facebook status, really random. I know that crap doesnt mean anything I just think its weird. You don't speak with someone for months and months and months, but just decide to click like on a couple of the stupidest facebook messages. She even didnt say anything to me for my birthday a couple of weeks ago, and that has ALWAYS been automatic with either of us. Even if its just a quick, happy birthday text. Nothing. Well it happend again last night. Out of nowhere, she sends me a picture text of a restuarant that has the same name as my favorite one back home. She just sent the picture and said "In Traverse City, MI"....and said something about the restuarant. I just responded with a quick reply. She travels a lot for work but of course now all day Im thinking, well she must have been there with her bf, no way would she be there for work. And ALL THAT STUPID CRAP you can't get out of your head when things like this happen. Then I come to find out Traverse City is a bit of a vacation spot, so now im running thru my head why she would be there and who she would have gone with. Not reading anything into it, but I even would have felt awkward texting her anything, let alone something stupid like that about a restuarant. Again, it was probably nothing to her and hasnt crossed her mind since, but here I am spending my entire day thinking about it. And admittedly, it did kind of brighten my night up. I hate to say it, but it did. We've been broken up for so long, and I havent heard her voice on the phone since Dec of 2010, but a text ofa restaurant sends me right back. I am not feeling good about this.
Exit Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 What benefits are there to outweigh the negatives of allowing this contact to continue? You say it honestly brightened up your night, but it sounds like whatever rush you get from hearing from her comes with a pretty hefty hangover. It would be one thing if the occasional contact from her simply "brightened up" your day and then there were no after affects, but you're here posting for a reason, obviously it doesn't make you feel too good. I don't like it when I see people put the "helpless" spin when it comes to exes contacting them. Think it's weird that she liked your FB posts? Well why is an ex from 2010 still on your FB? Getting texts from her seems to upset you. Don't blame her, ask yourself why you still have a phone number that she knows. This would all be entirely different if you were just happy being come-and-go friends who don't talk that often but are still enjoying keeping in touch. But that's not the case here. It appears it doesn't bring you much enjoyment, you say you haven't really dated anyone since her, you're spending an entire day trying to imagine who she was with and why she was there, so why let it continue? The right thing to do would be to cut ties for good and then make an effort to meet someone new. 2 years is enough time. Maybe after you meet someone and realize there are other great people out there, then you can handle being in touch with her once in a while. But not while you still have these lingering feelings for her. You have the power to put a stop to it. You can't just let people know your FB and your phone number and then feel like you can't do anything about it. It's not too hard of a decision. Is it a negative when she pops up in your life? Then stop letting it happen. Do you get enough enjoyment out of getting scraps from an ex that you're willing to suffer the consequences when it makes you feel crappy? That's fine, but then realize you can't complain when you can't get her out of your mind for the days following.
WeAllMightBeNuts Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Two years would seem a good amount of time for healing. I almost never say this, but a veeeerrry slow reconnect may be warranted. Remember though, most people don't change much, even you. So go into things clear of anything you need different and make sure you can reciprocate. Move sloooowly though, bad feeling looming, move on. Good luck!
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