WeAllMightBeNuts Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 What attracts you that you recognize in hindsight to be unhealthy? Does it still attract you? Is it contributing to relationship failures? Are relationship failures due to these unhealthy attractions overruling conscience recognition and will continue to repeat until corrected? In short, what part do you play in the failure of relationships? Curious....
january2011 Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 So what you're suggesting is that by failing to recognise that we are attracted to attributes that are unhealthy, we contribute to the failure of our relationships. Alternatively, we need to adjust our people-pickers.
Author WeAllMightBeNuts Posted June 27, 2012 Author Posted June 27, 2012 I am not selling anything whatsoever. No links will be posted. I just have an honest interest in human behavior and therefore ask alot of questions about it. Thanks.
Author WeAllMightBeNuts Posted June 27, 2012 Author Posted June 27, 2012 So what you're suggesting is that by failing to recognise that we are attracted to attributes that are unhealthy, we contribute to the failure of our relationships. Alternatively, we need to adjust our people-pickers. I suppose to a certain degree this is what I'm wondering and/or suggesting. Reflecting on myself and past relationships that have ended, the signs were always there for problems that have a high potential for causing a relationship to end. Think I have a tendency to ignore there potential and maybe even seek out those characteristics. Working on doing better. I see it in others around me and wonder if people could begin to see it in themselves then the positive things which they really seek and need may occur. Always curiously thinking. Thanks for the input.
january2011 Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 (edited) In my experience many people are not that self-aware and aren't used to applying the scientific method to their personal relationships. Indeed, they may be attracted to the familiar because it's within their comfort zone, regardless of whether it is healthy for them or not. Some people really are suckers for punishment. Having said that, those who are self-aware may still ignore the signs because there are other factors that they believe outweigh the signs. And it requires an result of being burned very badly before they learn their lesson. Edited June 27, 2012 by january2011
USMCHokie Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 What attracts you that you recognize in hindsight to be unhealthy? Women. ...zing....
Philosoraptor Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 In the past I was quite the caretaker. It was adjusted and though I'll still help anyone I can, I won't get into a relationship with a person who is not happy within themselves.
Author WeAllMightBeNuts Posted June 27, 2012 Author Posted June 27, 2012 Mine is sex. Right physical appearance, bedroom chemistry, and general spark....I go real stupid. Overlook and rationalize things I would never tolerate from others.
Emilia Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Mine is sex. Right physical appearance, bedroom chemistry, and general spark....I go real stupid. Overlook and rationalize things I would never tolerate from others. I think that's true for most of us
Dire Wolf Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Hmmmm, I would say youth and inexperience. Like a moth to the flame... That's all in the past now
writergal Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 I think our relationship patterns and dating habits are established very early and once ingrained, can be hard to deviate from or completely change. I have to agree with January's observation that most people lack self-awareness and will repeat their dating patterns until they get burned really bad, or will make excuses and ignore the red flags because they are in the comfort zone - a dysfunctional comfort zone.
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