Jennils24 Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 We have been married for 11 years! I have always been on the heavy side and I hate it but am working on that, anyway we r in the middle of it and all of a sudden limp he goes and he then flips me over to doggie position and I can see him as he is looking towards the ceiling with eyes closed!!this is a somewhat newer problem but has happened like 4 times now! He is always ready and can get off with no problem while masturbating but take him for ever during sex and 9 out of 10 times he flips me over! I'm not sure if it is my in security's but it is bothering me to no end! I know most men like thin fit girls and I don't want nasty comments from u! Fat people need love too and have feelings, please help!
Saphira Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 We have been married for 11 years! I have always been on the heavy side and I hate it but am working on that, anyway we r in the middle of it and all of a sudden limp he goes and he then flips me over to doggie position and I can see him as he is looking towards the ceiling with eyes closed!!this is a somewhat newer problem but has happened like 4 times now! He is always ready and can get off with no problem while masturbating but take him for ever during sex and 9 out of 10 times he flips me over! I'm not sure if it is my in security's but it is bothering me to no end! I know most men like thin fit girls and I don't want nasty comments from u! Fat people need love too and have feelings, please help! Have you thought about telling him how it makes you feel? Or thought about asking him why he always likes it in that particular position. If you have been married for 11 years and you have always been on the heavy side then that shouldn't be the reason because its been that way since dating, and 11 years of marriage. I think you should talk to him and see why he wants it doggie all the time. Dont jump right to insecurities because like i said. if you have always been heavy then he fell in love and married you heavy. Maybe its something else. If you have been married for so long you should be able to have a sexual talk with him. I hope things improve and wish you luck!
Author Jennils24 Posted June 27, 2012 Author Posted June 27, 2012 Well I have always been a bit heavy like I said I'm about 5'9 and 260ish! I am probably 20 pounds heavier from when we got married but I have also had 3 kids! It is a weird feeling! The weigh thing has always bothered me but i try to loose and end up gaining! I'm not big on food so honestly my 11 yr old eats more then I do but I continue to stay fat! I have a bairatric seminar coming up! My last hope! At least I won't have to chage my eating habits because I only eat one meal a day as it is,
january2011 Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Agree with Saphira. You need to talk to your husband directly and find out what's going on. I think you're jumping the gun by focusing on your weight.
shayla Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 I doubt that your weight would suddenly begin bothering him after all these years. Depending on his age, it may be a little more difficult for him to get and keep an erection. I know in my BF case "4 on the floor" is his finishing move when he is sure I'm satisfied because apparently the angle just kills him and he wants to focus on that feeling for himself without worrying about me...all good. Could be that he is just savoring the feeling of that position and not because he is trying to avoid looking at you. Seriously, I think that your discomfort is coming mostly from your feelings about your weight and not from him.
Emilia Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 I think you're jumping the gun by focusing on your weight. He doesn't want to look at her face and closes his eyes. Of course it's about the weight. OP talk to your husband but perhaps sorting out your weight would be a good start
january2011 Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 He doesn't want to look at her face and closes his eyes. Of course it's about the weight. OP talk to your husband but perhaps sorting out your weight would be a good start No, talk first. Draw conclusions later. Don't mindread and allow your insecurities to fill in the blanks.
Emilia Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 The weigh thing has always bothered me but i try to loose and end up gaining! I'm not big on food so honestly my 11 yr old eats more then I do but I continue to stay fat! I have a bairatric seminar coming up! My last hope! At least I won't have to chage my eating habits because I only eat one meal a day as it is, You will absolutely have to change your eating habits. You will need to eat 3 times a day, controlling the portions and calories and only allowing a couple of HEALTHY snacks in between (ie carrots, etc) When you only eat once a day your body goes into 'starvation' mode and stores even more fat. You are doing this in completely the wrong way, you will be very well off getting proper advice on this! 2
Emilia Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 No, talk first. Draw conclusions later. Don't mindread and allow your insecurities to fill in the blanks. That I agree with. However saying she is jumping to conclusions by focusing on the weight is wrong. If she wants to fix this she has to face the issue whatever it is.
january2011 Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 That I agree with. However saying she is jumping to conclusions by focusing on the weight is wrong. If she wants to fix this she has to face the issue whatever it is. Alrighty, I think we agree for the most part, Emilia, especially with regard to fixing whatever the issue is. We'll have to agree to disagree about the weight issue until the OP talks to her husband.
Author Jennils24 Posted June 27, 2012 Author Posted June 27, 2012 I question why you refer to doggie as "IT" I didn't refer to doggie as "IT" I was referring to sex as IT! Lol just thought IT was more appropriate the sex in the title
Author Jennils24 Posted June 27, 2012 Author Posted June 27, 2012 No he does look at me when in stationary position but I find it odd he has to finish doggie style
Author Jennils24 Posted June 27, 2012 Author Posted June 27, 2012 Lol I guess I should have been more clear I know things have to change with surgery but I ment I wouldn't have to eat less I would be eating more actually
Robert Z Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 We have been married for 11 years! I have always been on the heavy side and I hate it but am working on that, anyway we r in the middle of it and all of a sudden limp he goes and he then flips me over to doggie position and I can see him as he is looking towards the ceiling with eyes closed!!this is a somewhat newer problem but has happened like 4 times now! He is always ready and can get off with no problem while masturbating but take him for ever during sex and 9 out of 10 times he flips me over! I'm not sure if it is my in security's but it is bothering me to no end! I know most men like thin fit girls and I don't want nasty comments from u! Fat people need love too and have feelings, please help! I don't mean to make any assumptions about what you do in bed, but I can offer a few thoughts that might or might not apply. There is nothing exciting about a receptacle for anyone older than early twenties, at most... generally. And after 11 years of marriage the honeymoon is definitely over. Arousal isn't automatic. I suggest surprising him. Do you ever wake him up with a hand or, um, other kind of job? I can tell you THAT is extremely exciting. Do you ever offer to masturbate him? Have you ever watched a dirty movie together? Have you ever asked him about his fantasies? Everyone has some kind of fetish. Do you know what his is? Have you ever tried to accomodate that? Also, it is normal for people to think of other people when having sex. Men have a biological need to spread the seed far and wide. So you might even try to find it in your heart to allow him some fantasy as long as he remains loyal to you.
Robert Z Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 (edited) What is it they say, that men think about sex every fifteen minutes... In a sense, every man has a secret sex life in his head. If your husband is just getting bored with sex, which may well be, trying to get into his head and finding out what really turns him on could be helpful. Even if you were perfectly fit, you are still his wife. He has been looking at you every day for 11 years. He is not going to get excited by staring into your eyes any more. Even if you had a hot body, it wouldn't seem nearly as hot to him as it once did. So you might as well let that go. A love like that is so fleeting rare that I'm not even sure it exists. If he is really losing interest, then I think you need to become a part of his secret sex life. Edited June 27, 2012 by Robert Z
Robert Z Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 One more thing that comes to mind. DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES try to emulate what some young hottie would do. There is no way to be 20 and sexy again, so don't even try. Just do your best to make the most of what you have today and find out what your husband really wants. Then try to share his fantasy life with him.
Author Jennils24 Posted June 28, 2012 Author Posted June 28, 2012 (edited) Well he questioned me about why I have not been myself lately ie:sad! I opened up to him as it started with a photo I seen of myself and he knew what was going on in my head and he then said our sex life is amazing so that can't be a problem and I gave him that yeah right look. He knew y about that too because if him going soft in the middle! He claimed that lately he has had a lot on his mind and stress and I thought I said that it's funny to me because when I'm in the middle of sex I think of NOTHING but what's going on at the moment! He says he hates that it happens and like I said its a new problem has happened 4 or 5 times in the last month! He graduated college in that time and lost unemployment too and is desperately looking for a accounting job! He claims his mind constantly runs about the what ifs if he cannot get a job soon! So I was finally open about how I was feeling and most of u were right I did jump to conclusions and he said he loves me the way I am and will support my decision for surgery! He sure has made many attempt at every opportunity he gets today to tell me how much he loves me! Oh by the way he is 32 and I am 30! We have a 11, 9, and 7 yr old, been married since June 23rd 2001 but been together since I was 15 which is y we have a 11 yr old! Had her my senior year in high school Edited June 28, 2012 by Jennils24 Forgot info
Enema Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 (edited) You will absolutely have to change your eating habits. You will need to eat 3 times a day, controlling the portions and calories and only allowing a couple of HEALTHY snacks in between (ie carrots, etc) When you only eat once a day your body goes into 'starvation' mode and stores even more fat. You are doing this in completely the wrong way, you will be very well off getting proper advice on this! This is all wrong of course. The body doesn't go into 'starvation' mode after a few hours. It's a myth that has been proven incorrect. Looking at the numerous studies I've read, the earliest evidence for lowered metabolic rate in response to fasting occurred after 60 hours (-8% in resting metabolic rate). Leucine, glucose, and energy metabolism after... [Am J Clin Nutr. 1987] - PubMed - NCBI Other studies show metabolic rate is not impacted until 72-96 hours have passed (George Cahill has contributed a lot on this topic). Lastly, carrots: Macro-nutrient wise, they're about as good for you as snacking on a potato. Heavy starch, the carbs causes your blood sugar to spike. Edited June 28, 2012 by Enema
Recommended Posts