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Let's thank them..

SerCay

By SerCay
in Coping

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SerCay Established Member

SerCay

Posted
Posted

Hiya copers..I'm in week 3 now of NC and I had this epiphany yesterday night..

 

Finally I realised all the wrong that had been done to me and that it was NOT all my fault..

 

I finally (praise the Lord :p) reached that place where I want to thank my ex. Thank him and forgive him AND myself.

 

Yep..to forgive..it's the only way to come clean with yourself and to move on eventually, especially if you've had no closure, feel me?

 

Dear Ex,

 

I thank/forgive you for:

Year 1 of us;

- Getting a relationship with me when you were still in love with your ex

- Making me chase you as a mo fo in the beginning

- Being a stingy f*ck and making me pay for everything 50/50, but still stayin at my house for free

- Dumping me during every fight we had, to take me back 2 days later

- Ear f*cking me about your problems in life

- Cheating on me with your ex because you ''thought I was chatting up other men because I was pinging all the time''

- Asking back all the stuff you ever bought me when I dumped your ass when I found out about this

- All the while, making everything go at your pace, your time, your wishes, your schedule

 

Year 2 of us;

-Changing for the better

- Loving me dearly and planning a geniune future with me

- Telling me how you realised you were striking golf with me

- Doing a lot of stuff for me, helping me out

- Paying for almost everything, anywhere we went

- Using me as your personal taxy from and to your place from mine, every night, every morning..cause you sold your car

- Nagging about paying all the time once you got your own car

- Distancing yourself from me when I started asking questions about your odd division between ''relationship'' and ''friends'', keeping me hidden from your ''female friends''

- ditching me several times, canceling last minute, cannot be physical with me because our ''problems'', withdrawing, becoming more selfish than before..etc etc

 

and more and more...

 

THANK YOU..for showing me that there truly are selfish people like you existing..

 

For opening up my eyes to the world and taking off my pink colored glasses. Thanks for showing me all the ugly love can bring :)..Thank you for making me a wiser woman that is now able to contain her emotions to protect herself.

 

Thank you for dumping me when I decided to stop jumping through hoops for you.

 

What do y'all thank your exes for?

Norse Established Member

Norse

Posted
Posted

This sounds like a great idea. I'm going to start writing a real journal soon and I'll be sure to upload what I thanked them for :)

  • Like 1
fucpcg Established Member

fucpcg

Posted
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Thanks for the best year of my life, and I'm sorry you felt that it was not something worth keeping in your eyes. I will always miss what we had.

 

(I don't get how soo many of you hate a person you spent year(s) with. If it was that bad, why did you hang around so long?)

  • Like 3
CopingGal Established Member

CopingGal

Posted
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Thank you for showing me that no relationship can ever survive if you have to beg for everything.

 

Thank you for showing me that if someone lies to you again and again, they will keep lying and keep lying.

 

Thank you for showing me that just because someone says he will go to therapy, doesn't mean that he takes it seriously.

 

Thank you for showing me that if a man stands me up multiple times in the relationship and don't keep making excuses for him.

 

Thank you for showing me that if a man wants to spend time with me, he will make time for me not matter his situation and if he does not , he really does not want me no matter what he says.

 

Thank you for showing me what a lying slut you are. I'm so glad I only wasted three years on you and no more.

 

Thank you for showing me what it's like to date someone who has a sociopathic personalty and narcissitc traits. I know to avoid this next time.

 

 

Thank you for illustrating the fact that there really are people out there who will take advantage of others and sometimes kindness is not the key, because people like you drain others of their kindness and patience.

 

Thank you for showing me that kindness and compassion many times is not appreciated.

 

Thank you for showing me that there are men out there who prefer stupid, ignorant, red-necked woman instead of intelligent, kind, decent women.

 

But most of all, thank you for showing me how depraved and indecent you really are and that I actually dated someone with the personality of a serial killer or serial rapist. I know next time I will have to be very, VERY careful.

  • Like 1
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SerCay Established Member

SerCay

Posted
  • Author
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(I don't get how soo many of you hate a person you spent year(s) with. If it was that bad, why did you hang around so long?)

 

Oh noo.. I don't hate him at all.. I thank him :p

No but seriously, there are positive th9ings I thank him for..see the ''year 2 of us'' part..

Coffee20 Established Member

Coffee20

Posted
Posted

I want to thank you for showing me how cold and distant someone can be.

I want to thank you for showing me that people who lie about each little thing really exist.

I want to thank you for showing me a person who I DON'T WANT TO BE, ever! (although I admired you so much at the beginning).

Thank you that you taught me that I am the one who should rely only on myself, that I can help myself and I DON'T REALLY NEED YOU, nor your "love".

Thank you for showing me a person who I have to avoid next time completely.

 

I forgave him already, one thing I can never forgive is the way he betrayed his friend. So stupid and immature.

  • Like 2
Coffee20 Established Member

Coffee20

Posted
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(I don't get how soo many of you hate a person you spent year(s) with. If it was that bad, why did you hang around so long?)

 

hmm as I think about it, it wasn't always bad, we had our light days and I always thought things will get better and better the more he will know me....I was wrong

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SerCay Established Member

SerCay

Posted
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Addition:

 

Thank you for never putting an actual effort in fixing us, except waiting passively and creating distance, because you thought distance would fix the ''bugs'', thanks for always getting a head ache and stop talking, when talks last too long in your tiny little brain

 

Thank you for dropping me like garbage after all..and creating automatic NC for almost 3 weeks now, without proper closure talking, you're the best ;)

  • 3 weeks later...
CopingGal Established Member

CopingGal

Posted
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Thanks for showing me what complete and utter dysfunction looks like and how well it can be hidden. I owe you. I'll pay you back by praying for you.

Ponzzz Member

Ponzzz

Posted
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Thank you for showing me that I can give all of myself to another person and truly feel love.

 

Thank you for giving me the courage to face my daunting tasks.

 

Thank you for always being so considerate of my feelings.

 

Thank you for loving me simply for who I am and not for what I do.

 

Thank you for making me better at showing my affection towards others.

 

Thank you for all of the good memories that I can and will never forget.

 

Thank you for completely rocking my world and making everyday an adventure!

 

Thank you for just randomly leaving me when the time was convenient and telling me that you hope that you weren't going to regret this decision one day.

 

Thank you for telling me that you're not in love with me but im your soul mate (I love confusion).

 

Thank you for being so naggy with me about my cleanliness and what I wear(I actually really needed that and I guess you never noticed that I was looking for that to begin with).

 

Thank you for ripping my heart out but not throwing it down and stomping on it.

 

Thank you for still genuinely caring for me, I guess I will never know what's going through your head right now.

 

Thank you for genuinely wanting a friendship with me again at some point in time but I will have to respectfully decline for now, I will never be second to someone until I don't care anymore.

Sugarkane Established Member

Sugarkane

Posted
Posted
(I don't get how soo many of you hate a person you spent year(s) with. If it was that bad, why did you hang around so long?)

 

This is what I don't get either. Especially when they say they were unhappy for that long. I never treated my ex badly at all.

CopingGal Established Member

CopingGal

Posted
Posted (edited)

Hi SugarKane,

 

As I said, a lot of what happened to me happened behind my back and was covered up with lies and tricks.

 

Another thing SugarKane, is because of the manipulation and the psychological abuse, sometimes it's hard to wrap yourself around what exactly is happening until you leave and get a clearer picture. Everyone's story is different though.

Edited by CopingGal
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