Mimsicles Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 Hi there, I have been in a 5year relationship, and for the first 3 years id say the relationship was perfect and i'd honestly never been happier. Anyway after this time my boyfriend cheated on me numerous times and after a few break up, I always went back and forgave him because I loved him. Recently he was distant and barely spent any time with me. He would ring me late at night to check up on me and would accuse me of cheating on him all the time. I really got me down. In our whole 5 year relationship he met my friends once, and when he did meet them he verbally abused them all (after alcohol). In all honestly I realised that I was no longer happy with him, and had fallen out of love with him. I got to boiling point one evening and ended the relationship. Since then I am numb, I think of nothing but him, and I just want to contact him to see if he's ok. Maybe I did love him, but I knew we couldnt carry on the way things were, but even if it was the right thing to do for myself, then why do I feel so upset and worthless. Im getting abuse from all his family saying how nasty I am for ending it with him. I just need a but of advice, if i didnt love him anymore surely I wouldnt be this upset
Fran1979 Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 I feel so sorry for you, you sound in total shock. Shock is actually a medical condition so you need to take care of yourself. It makes me sad that he didn't really put the time in with your friends - that's not normal really. The last thing you need is his family being horrible too - no one ever really knows what goes on between two people. I think take the pressure off yourself and just try and do the basics, eat, eash and sleep. You don't need to do anything else for now. Fx
Philosoraptor Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Attachment is a hard thing to let go of. It's normal cheater mentality to accuse someone else of cheating when you are doing so yourself. You did do the right thing for yourself. For now just take time and treat yourself well. Be kind and patient with yourself and try to enjoy the little things in life.
Samilia Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 You feel that way because you had feelings for that guy, you had a future, and plans. When you let go of someone it's not the person only that you let go of; you let go of the future, plans you made together, safety, companionship. You'll find yourself watching a moving and turning your head around to share a moment with him and he won't be sitting next to you. All those moments, you let go of too. And it's sad. But it had to be done. Eventually you will remember more clearly why the break up had to occur, you'll get used to you again, live for yourself again, heal, and move on. It takes time, only serial killers and maybe Margaret Thatcher can kill a relationship and walk away without a regret.
BlazePT Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 I'm sorry to hear about your breakup, 5 years is a helluva long time. You did the best thing and now you'll just have to be used to being alone again. Sure, what we miss the most is essencially the feeling of security, companionship, etc but you'll get used to it with time, trust me Hang in there!
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