HopelessinDTW Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 Ok first off my user name is from when I was on this site getting VERY GOOD advice during my divorce. I am happy to say all that BS is well behind me. So here's the story. I am 40 yo, in fairly good shape, fair looking (women look at me, double takes, etc.). Anyways, there is a women who works on my floor in our large building (different department) that I asked out for lunch right before x-mas break last year, and she said ok we'll do it after break. During break, I found her Facebook page, and by mistake (honestly!!) I sent her a friend request...I know what an idiot. Right after I sent it to her, I messaged her and apologized. So after break I see her, and I ask her so are you ready to have lunch. She tells me maybe, but I am busy this week...how about next week. Next week rolls in, and I don't say anything. Then the folowing week, I ask again so are you free? She says, well I have a bunch of things to do durng lunch this week, so maybe next week.... Ok so, my interpretation is that the maybe = NO. And that when I sent her a friend request, it "creeped" her out. I see her in the hallways all the time, and she still is friendly and I say "Hi" or "How are you", but haven't really tried to talk much to her or asked her out. It's June now, and so it has been months since I really struck up a conversation with her. My question is....do you all think she's still creeped out? Should I try again? Or I am just delusional?
Philosoraptor Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 I don't know what she's thinking but I'd cut ties on this one as it doesn't seem very hopeful. Back off and if she comes around she comes around. You've already put things out there so the ball is in her court.
Emilia Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 I think your anxiety makes her nervous. The way we feel rubs off on other people. I'd say don't date at work because it's extra pressure seeing the person around all the time, worrying about every little thing when they are in your eyesight. You would be much more relaxed outside work
YellowShark Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Number 1) NEVER fish off the company pier. Number 2) You're 40, I think it's time to stop using Stupidbook. Women don't take a 40-year old seriously if they use Stupidbook like a needy, love-sick teenager. Number 3) Yes. You totally turned her off. She wants nothing to do with you. (Reason? See: number 2)
Author HopelessinDTW Posted June 27, 2012 Author Posted June 27, 2012 Number 1) NEVER fish off the company pier. Number 2) You're 40, I think it's time to stop using Stupidbook. Women don't take a 40-year old seriously if they use Stupidbook like a needy, love-sick teenager. Number 3) Yes. You totally turned her off. She wants nothing to do with you. (Reason? See: number 2) Thanks all for your responses. Yellowshark..yea I know and never s**t where you eat. Are jobs are such that there would be nearly zero interaction, short of running into each other in the hallway. Plus there are several people in the building who are dating/married, etc., so just felt that it would be no big deal. Yea the facebook is not an obsession. I was bored and was just curious. I was looking at her profile on my iPhone, and my fat fingers hit the wrong button. I am not a love sick teenager though. 3)Maybe. She's still friendly. I think I will just do what I have been doing, which is basically nothing more than exchanging pleasantries with her if I see her in the hallway. If she wants to chat, then I'm all ears...but I will not 'chase' after her, or make any moves.
lilyblue Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 I don't think the fb thing probably has anything to do with it. It seems like you got the same response all three times (even before the accidental friend request) "sure.... later". Seems like she was politely trying to say no, hoping you would get the hint.
Author HopelessinDTW Posted June 27, 2012 Author Posted June 27, 2012 I don't think the fb thing probably has anything to do with it. It seems like you got the same response all three times (even before the accidental friend request) "sure.... later". Seems like she was politely trying to say no, hoping you would get the hint. Well, the first time I asked she did say yes. I asked her the day before the break started. So when she said we'll do it after the break, I was pretty sure she was being honest. In fact, she said we should go somewhere where the food is healthy. I guess I'm somewhat hung up one someone that maybe was interested and now is no longer. And seeing her once in a while at work doesn't help. She seems like a really nice person, educated, down to earth, attractive, etc. etc...It's not easy to find that combination.
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